Tuesday, March 30, 2004

I am not in any condition to be a mother. In just 4 days of taking care of my brother and sister I have managed to let them stay out past their bedtimes each night, miss school, and even leave school early. I am sure they appreciate this. But I am realizing that if I can't physically force a child into doing something, I have no authority. I'm invisible. All I am really doing these days is nuking their frozen dinners for them, and cleaning the kitchen. I can't live like this. Its just not me.

Monday, March 29, 2004

It is not every day you have a job interview that ends in a hug. Last Friday I did have one of those days. I think that means the interview went well. Today I had a follow up interview for that job. We discussed all the necessary details about the job. I think it went well. And then we got off topic and compared CSI to Law and Order and whether or not we thought CSI would go downhill when it starts a new city next season. But we all agreed that we like Emily Proctor (the kick butt blond on CSI Miami) the best. But, no hug at the end of the interview.
I came home from my interview to 2 phone messages. Both are job interviews. This is a good sign. So I have at least 2 more interviews in the upcoming week. They sound more interesting than the first job, but they don't pay as well. I am really bad at decisions. I really hope I don't get offers from everyone. That would be too much stress. In the meantime, my dream job at the Red Cross has not yet called me, but my fingers are crossed!

Sunday, March 28, 2004

The almost terrible horrible very bad day.

8:30 am- yell at brother and sister until they get dressed and leave for church at 9:15. church began at 9:00.

10:15- children return home. claim they got to church too late (10:45) to stay. i argue about the time with them. they look at me like i am insane, and go back to bed.
teenagers are too big to waste time yelling at, and i can't physically force them into anything.

11:00- make stew fixings, put potatoes, veggies, meat into tupperware, throw boullion cubes (in wrappers) into crock pot. did NOT add water. intending to do this at church.

get dressed, leave for church at 12:30

1:35- arrive at church, go directly to kitchen to start stew in pot, add water, meat, potatoes.

1:45- go into sacrament. at which point i realize that not only is it fast sunday, but my ward begins at 1, not 2. so instead of being 15 mins early, i am 45 mins late. feel very stupid. sit in overflow next to cousin mark.

2:05- at some point during closing prayer remember the boullion cubes in bottom of crock pot. had not removed wrappers/foils from cubes, since i had forgotten they were in there when i added the ingredients. rush to kitchen to fish out wet paper now floating in stew.

2:45- while sitting in sunday school vaguely recall that the water wasn't very warm in my crock pot. go back to kitchen. pot is unplugged, and someone has added the remaining ingredients to my stew. pot is now overflowing, most ingredients not in actual warm part of pot (or the part that would have been warm if it had been plugged in). do emergency surgery on stew, return to class.

3:00 meet bishop. notice cute guy that talked to me a few months ago is in the hall. still can't recall his name. wish i could find a way to talk to him.

church continues as usual. go to munch and mingle. my stew is being served, but i doubt it is cooked. can see current crush eating it. become very nervous. realize life is starting to resemble bridget jones' diary way too much. am speaking as if bridget now. must stop.
The time has come to make free to the world the inner workings of my mind. Why? I don't know. But it seems so much easier than forcing my ramblings across cyber-space and into innocent inboxes.

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