Sunday, October 23, 2005

Single Life Never Looked So Pathetic

Okay, I have a confession to make. I had the most boring single woman's weekend ever. A lot of that was due to cold medicine that knocked me out. I slept 12 straight hours on Friday night and Saturday night. I did manage to get up and do a few small things both afternoons, followed by 3 hour naps both days, which is always nice. So basically, most boring weekend ever.
And then tonight, feeling a little stir crazy, I went to a fireside for singles. (For the non-mormons reading this a fireside is basically a lecture on a religious topic.) The speaker related his experiences as a volunteer in Sri Lanka following the tsunami. It was an interesting fireside. But looking around the room was absolutely depressing. (Our firesides have pretty pathetic turnout, but we're working on that.) There was maybe 25 people in the room, of which 5 of us were the McLean Stake council, so deduct us from the equation (the only 5 of us under the age of 40). So that leaves us with 20, of which 5 were men. Four of the five men (if there were that many) were over the age of 50 most likely. The fifth one was 40ish. And none of them really screamed, "Ladies Man." They all sort of screamed, "Socially Incompetent!" (Not that I would ever say something so rude.) But then there were the 20 or so women in the room. And oh my gosh. If that is my future I'd rather be drowned in the Hudson tomorrow. Every last woman in that room (okay, maybe that is a tiny exaggeration, but maybe its not) you could just glance at and know why these women were single. Is there something about forty that makes women lose their ability to dress smartly and turn into the old lady with the apple in the woods from "Snow White?" Knowing that tonight was their one big social outing for the week, I seriously have to also wonder when it is they lost their common sense. If it had been my only social adventure for the week I probably would have at least touched up my roots and worn a cute outfit. But for reasons that can only explain their marital status, I was sitting in a room full of what appeared to be old hags. I need someone to give me the expiration date when you go from being "single" to "old maid" or "hag." Because seriously, I'm drowning myself in the Hudson (or maybe just the Potomac) before that happens.
So next weekend, in spite of how sick I may or may not be, I am going out and finding me a man.
Oh, and if I have reached the point where you can just look at me and see why it is I am still single, I would greatly appreciate it if you would share your knowledge with me. But not in the comments section, cause that might be a little embarrassing.

6 comments:

  1. Morgaine Le Fey10:22 AM

    Why are you picking on people that are 40? I happen to know from 1st hand experience life doesn't even start until you turn 40. I'm discovering all kinds of really cool stuff about myself since I turned 40. Some of us love being 40.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jules3:12 PM

    Ignore morgaine, whoever she is. She's probably the one with the wart on her nose. The reason you are single is because you are self-sufficient and can outshoot most guys. Probably all but a couple of guys at work. That sucks the virility right out of them. Wait for the one who can handle the whole package!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jules6:10 PM

    I retract the wart comment. I was inspired by your Snow White's witch comment. I guess when we're 40 we'll get it. I blame PMS. However, I stand firmly by the comment about guys being afraid of you because you're tougher than they are.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Life doesn't begin until you are 40? So I have another 9 or so years until my life begins? Oh that is just not happy news.
    But then again, the thought that I strike fear into most men is not a happy thought either. But then again, not wholly unexpected.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Way to go! Go get em! People always think there's a bad reason why someone's single. Twice this year guys have been taking me home from dates and said, "So..[pause]...how come you're not married?"
    Hmm...well I don't know [butt face] maybe because...
    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh my little flower...

    Age is not the thing that drives what it can be at yours, jules or M's age---it's the expereinces you apply and the openess and willingness you have to taking risks.

    My suggestion - Flat out ask guy #1 (the one you can't live with or without) out on a date - invite him over for dinner--sned him a card

    Throw caution into the wind and see what might develop - set ego aside and go after him !

    XOXO
    me

    ReplyDelete

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