This is for the guys who read this…or, perhaps for the guys that make the lists so often talked about .
Have you ever noticed that the worst advice you get about winning women over usually comes from women themselves? Women are famous for not knowing what they want. They keep lists that change with their mood. A list on Monday at 3 will not be the same list on Monday at 4.
They say they want a nice guy, but follow jerks like lemmings. They say they want flowers, poems and gifts, but get turned off if the wrong guy sends them one. I want flowers! But not from Yoooouuuu!
Clearly they don't understand their needs, and their triggers. Clearly they are confused.
Guys have to learn to wade through the deluge of useless feminine advice to find the real nuggets of wisdom.
Advice to make more friends
The female friends in your life will often tell you to lay all your feelings out on the table. "Tell her how you feel," "Be a nice guy" and "Don't try to sleep with her right away."
Their advice will get you more girl-friends, but sadly, no bedmates. They mean well, yeah, but truth be told, they're setting you up to look like a real girly chump.
Because when you play Mr. Nice Guy and open all her doors and sleep on the couch, you're not making a lover -- you're making a friend. And a boring one at that! Your female buddies might think they're helping you out, but they're really just sending another hapless calf off to slaughter.
Even mom doesn't get it!
"Just be yourself!" sounds nice when mom says it, doesn't it? And we know she wants the best for us, but we need to a draw a distinction in this piece of advice. Don't just be yourself! Go after the woman you want and be open about your motives, with no apologies! Simply "being" is not enough; you need to be a man of action! Mom can't give good advice until she lets go of her image of you as a "nice little boy." No matter what freaky things you are into, unless mom actually sees the blow up sheep….you will always be the NICE son to her.
Guys have to be wary of the ex's "tips," as these characters will either tell you what you want to hear to get you to move on, or they'll wreck your chances of replacing them. Do not be one of those guys who say, well it did not work but I have a great friend now…whatever!….Ex-girlfriends will tell you things like, "The harder you look, the less you find," and "Maybe you shouldn't date anyone for a while." This is hardly any consolation to a depressed, horny guy. And I defy you to find me an ex-girlfriend who wants you to start dating a girl much hotter than she is. Your exes can't give good advice because their ego is involved.
The female self-help gurus
A quick read through Internet sites and self-help books reveals an unsettling trend. Following the advice of self-dubbed gurus actually weakens your power in the dating game. Many of these self-help coaches dish out tips like "Be more sensitive to her needs" and "Be romantic." Their advice seems to focus on men changing themselves to suit women's need, all the while ignoring their own. Yeah, I don't think so.
They'll tell you communication is more important than wealth or looks. But if you open up and give away all your desires, dreams and fears, don't expect your woman to hang around for too long. If you're not mysterious, you're no longer a challenge and they will move on. Chicks will try and figure you out, and might even place you on some kind of “ Guys I want to date, MAYBE List” Do not show all your cards.
One popular female dating coach tells men to fill in any awkward silences by delivering a compliment. Now come on, any male that is not filled with estrogen knows to give compliments sparingly, if at all. You can't inflate their heads with insincere compliments, just because you ran out of things to say.
Some pundit ‘s also advise men be to be decisive because indecisive men won't be able to handle a wife and family . Is it possible to raise the stakes any higher? Jeez, talk about pressure.
Experts say to always have plans on a date, forgetting that predictable men turn women off faster than The Clapper . The secret is to prepare for a date (such as making a reservation at a restaurant), but make it appear spontaneous and fun.
Truth is, the "experts" can't get down and dirty because their loyalties are not to you, but to the women you are trying to chase. By sabotaging guys, they make life easier for the ladies.
Women's utter confusion
Sometimes you even muster up the courage to ask a girl what she wants, what attracts her and what turns her on. However, this straight-up approach usually gets you a less-than-straight answer. When you ask this, you will only get a list of qualities, like nice, romantic, generous, polite, listens more than he talks, financially secure, remembers birthdays, and appreciates the finer things -- qualities that have been glaringly absent in her last five boyfriends.
When women discuss what they want in a man, remember that they might not be fully aware of what really turns them on. They might not know yet.
Toss out bad female advice
Precious few females encourage men to snag women with a combination of cockiness and a biting sense of humor. Some of the better advice includes to develop and exude authentic confidence. The best dating advice you can get is to be honest, assertive and respectful, but not to roll over and act like a wimp. Always hold a little something back.
If you heed bad female dating wisdom, you'll be a very confused and uncertain man. Don't be that guy. Women want challenging, confident, mystery-engulfed men. Unfortunately, they are often unwilling or unable to tell you. Or maybe they're unwilling to face it.
Coming next..How to Date Bad Girls.
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