Seriously, men, this is not for you. I really hope you can't relate to what I am aobut to say. In fact, if you can relate it is probably best if you keep it to yourself. I really don't think you want to read the rest of what I am about to say.
Ladies, the world has finally gone too far. Today I found myself in the intimate apparel section of a favorite store and I saw something that absolutely shocked me. 38D bras with padding and push-up enhancements. Why? Why? WHY? Why would anyone with a 38D need additional padding and push-up enhancements?!? Its just sitting there next to the 32A with padding and push-up enhancements like its not dwarfing its neighbor unfairly. Seriously, a 32A needs the padding and push-up enhancements, but a 38D?? Really, I beg you. Think about it.
What bras need are real names and real labels. Let's call it what it really is- help where you need it, "trying to be something you're not," "creating an illusion," and "making mountains out of molehills." And then there is the other side of the spectrum (the side i feel like i am on way too much these days), where the undergarments should come with assistance and features like "impact resistance," "gravity defiant straps," and "extra durable holding power."
Seriously, when was the last time the powers that be (whoever they are, and I better not find out they are all men) created a bra that actually had functionality and features that a woman wants? Without pain and discomfort? And without emptying the wallet? And who came up with the bright idea of designing them that way? There couldn't be a more comfortable solution?
And who designed them with seams and embroidery on the front? I mean I'm all for them being pretty and feminine (I'm keeping my mouth shut on the type I actually prefer), but there is nothing more annoying than a line right across the top. Why do they put them there? Is there no better place for a seam than in the front and center?? Its like the entire under clothing industry is working against us. Don't even get me started on thongs and g-strings. None of these are made for a woman's comfort, let alone fashion enhancement. They are made for men and what they think they want to see. (I'll keep my mouth shut about what men should want to see- which would include comfortable, happy women, and how men would get more of what they want if women were more comfortable and happier, but that isn't the point of what I am trying to say.)
So what am I trying to say? Mostly that I want to boycott the bra industry, except that I can't. And that there should be more truth in advertising, and that someday I want to see a bra with the label, "Industrial strength staying power- so you don't hurt yourself when you sit at tables."
Monday, January 23, 2006
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