Saturday, January 14, 2006

So without going into any detail whatsoever, this was a pretty big hell hole of a week. A lot of things just didn't go my way this week. That isn't to say things got worse for me though. The problem is that I had my hopes set on a few things and they didn't pan out. So life is just status quo. Nothing got better, nothing got worse. So why is it so hard to be happy when you are still "just you?"

When trouble strikes, or I have a less than favorable emotion going in my head, my first instinct is to run and hide from it. Act like I'm fine with the whole situation. Tell everyone it was no big deal and then do something fun and huge so I can ignore my problems. But this time I just don't have the energy in me to act like nothing is wrong. I think the biggest problem I am having with all of this is that my problem is that I am me! That I am the same person today that I was last week. But I liked me last week. So why don't I like my life this week?

It was finally my last night at the store. The store was good for one thing- it kept me busy enough to hide from my problems. I might actually miss the store some day. I enjoyed the conversations with my co-workers and exploring all of the books. I'll really miss my discount there more than anything. But of course, I made sure I used it well tonight before leaving. But it was high time for me to quit and move on with my life, not to mention get all that sleep I am in dire need of.

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