Tuesday, May 30, 2006

If You're a Single Woman, Here Are Your Chances of Getting Married

What We Said 20 Years Ago - Newsweek Society - MSNBC.com

This has to be the most depressing, and yet accurate, thing I have read in ages. Is it true? Or do I choose to ignore that everything I have worked to earn for myself- my independence, my job, my home, my life, is what will keep me from getting the last thing on my list, a husband? If I won't settle for anything less in a man, why would I want a man who would settle for less in me? I agree with the article. But that doesn't mean I'll change my way of hoping and thinking the world SHOULD be.

Excerpt- (defining my social life way too way)
William Novak, author of "The Great American Man Shortage," calls it the " 'I'm okay you'd better be perfect' syndrome." Yuppies are, after all, survivors of the Me Decade, whose emphasis on self-fulfillment often translated into an inability to commit to others. The result, for many singles, has been a string of serial relationships that ultimately disappoint. Then, says Denver social worker Michael Pass, "something between pessimism and reality sets in. People get scared. The defenses begin to build up."

Birthday Shoutout



Top Ten Reasons to Like Her
1. I'm legally obligated.
2. Cali
3. Andi
4. Bryan
5. She sings in WalMart late at night.
6. She's a great writer.
7. She's funny.
8. She spray paints her house.
9. She's been my guardian angel more than once. And my therapist.
10. She's Jules!!!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

the beach is coming, the beach is coming!!!

I'm packing for the big trip. The contents so far-

3 different pairs of cargo khaki shorts (maybe it's time for me to invest in a different color)
2 capri jeans
1 regular jeans
1 pair black sandals
1 pair black flip flops
1 pair black hybrid tennis shoes/sandals/water shoes
1 sunday dress (we are mormon after all)
1 gray sweat suit
1 pink sweat suit
1 baggy white cardigan sweater
10 tee shirts (3 with my employer's name on them, 3 with obnoxious statements on them, the rest plain) (which makes me think i need more obnoxious ones)
1 bikini- black
1 one piece- black
1 bikini red
1 one piece- pink and black
books- "walk in the woods," "devil wears prada," "deception point," "anne of avonlea," "anne of island," and more to come. A lot more.
3 nail polish colors
DVD's
1 yoga exercise ball
1 camera
1 firewire to transfer pics from camera to blog

The real question is, have I packed enough sweats? Ooh, towels. Can't forget the beach towels. Am I forgetting anything?? One full week at the beach!!! I can't wait!!! Solitude, hot tub, writing, and sleeping!!!!! YEAH!!!!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Weekend Wrap Up

I promised pictures from my weekend, but I'm too tired to put up explanations. So I post the pictures for your amusement. I encourage you to come up with your own stories behind them.






Sunday, May 21, 2006

it's a funny story, i'll tell you all about it later

I'm in Wisconsin for the next 60 hours or so. I've been here a good 12 hours already. I have some great pictures to explain my day from hell (the monotony only broken by lots of txt msgs from friends), but sadly the hotel I am staying in doesn't have internet in the rooms. I have been forced to use a public computer to send up my SOS blog.
Here's a sneak peak at the last 12 hours-
an 18 wheeler fell off the overpass and onto the highway, about 100 yards in front of me
the back up that ensued
driving through the middle of nothing and then into the middle of nowhere, Wisconsin
"try the 4 star restaurant. they got specials."
Thankfully I'll be back in civilization tomorrow night.

In the meantime, send emails- remind me where the real world is!

Friday, May 19, 2006

Oops, did I really not plan this right?

I can't believe this. This has never happened to me before. But I have not planned and scheduled something right. This might be the sign of something serious!

Today around 3 pm it hit me that I have plans all Friday night, from the minute I leave work till midnight. And then I'm leaving for my great-uncle's funeral around 7 am, and not getting back till late at night on Saturday. Sunday morning is wheels up for a 6 am flight to Wisconsin. (We'll mock "Tomah, WI" later.) And I don't get back till Tuesday evening. I'm home 48 hours, and then I leave for the beach for a week. And I haven't packed or thought any of this out yet. So I did a rush packing job tonight for Friday-Tuesday. It is always stressful for me to have to pick out clothes for a funeral. My great-uncle was 88 years old and died very peacefully. There will be, according to my estimates, over 300 cousins at this funeral. And while my family is very well-behaved, we're not a quiet people. There will be food and reuniting of family and friends. I very sincerely suggested to my dad today that we consider wearing name tags at the family functions this weekend. He very sincerely told me no. I'm just thinking it would make things a lot easier, and a lot less embarassing when you can't recall someone's name. This also takes off the stress of knowing whether or not it is safe to flirt with someone. (And no, it is not safe to flirt with a cousin. It is safe to flirt with people from your great-uncle's "other side" of the family.) With over 300 cousins, you don't necessarily know if the person in front of you is related or not. A name tag would help. But alas, apparently they are not acceptable at a family funeral.

Anyway, back to my point. Clothes for a "not sad" funeral. I suddenly realized that I wear a lot of pink and black, and neither are really appropriate for this funeral. Very strange. Anyway, I had to pack for that, plus for a 40 degree span in temperature and possible showers in Wisconsin.

But now for the things I haven't had time to plan out- when I'm going tanning before the beach, when I'm going to buy a bathing suit before the beach. Don't even get me started on losing 10 more lbs by next Friday. When will I go to the library to get my much needed 20 books for the beach? Plus there are tons of things I need to be doing for my church calling right now. And I completely forgot to plan all of this. Me- forget to plan! This has never ever happened before. Next thing you know, boys will start calling me again, and pigs will fly out of my butt!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Things That Suck, Or My Weekly Update

It never ceases to amaze me that people will complain when a blog is not updated often enough. My apologies people, I got busy overnight and couldn't blog. I was too preoccupied watching "American Idol" and "House." Which, btw, I thought Katherine and Taylor did their best jobs ever last night. After Taylor did his Springsteen number, I coud finally see him as the "Idol." Katherine, however, I can see acting (and maybe singing) in a Maybellene commericial. And Elliot I only see going home.

But on to more important details. Like my life. Originally this post was going to be a list of things that suck. But now I think I will do the same list and just expand on it a bit.

1. The Gilmore Girls season finale. The reasons extend from a) hello, like Rory and Logan can't afford plane tix back and forth. b) what the hell was Lorelei thinking??

2. Laryngitis/migraine combos.

3. Men who disappear. I'm kind of big into communicating. I tell people everything. I talk a lot. So I really, really don't understand people who don't. (And yes, girls, I am still obsessing over this one. It's very unlike me.)

4. Being held responsible for things that you can't control. I hate not being given a full picture. I hate not being given all the tools. I can rise to the occasion and overcome obstacles with the best of them. But I really hate not being fully prepared or armed from the get-go. I guess that goes back to my communication needs.

5. Vaccuums.

That's enough for one day. I can't handle all this negativity.

Monday, May 15, 2006

New Goal for the Week- Lift Curse

I think it is highly possible I am cursed by the gods of interstate shipping.

Leaving the name of my place of employment out of this, and assuming you all know what sort of products my company ships, I shall explain.

On Friday I shipped 5 cases of products via FedEx.com out of Accokeek, MD to Albuq. NM. I also shipped 3 boxes of giveaways out of the VA warehouse via UPS to Albu.

At 2 am on Saturday morning I got the urge to check the shipping on my products. And according to fedex.com my cases were not in the system. Not good.


Multiple phone calls, etc to Fed Ex did not lead me to think things were going to improve.

And then, just for poops and giggles, I tracked my UPS packages.

And that is when it was really confirmed that I am cursed.

They shipped just fine and arrived in Albu. which is where things went wrong. The shipping center in New Mexico has flooded. They can't ship anything out until tomorrow.

Have I convinced you I am cursed yet? Or do I need to tell you the experience just 2 weeks ago where Fed Ex mysteriously seperated by 4 cases of products and "accidentally" sent one to the wrong state, and somehow the keys to the cases, (always sent independently) were lost and then found in the driver's truck?

So I sit and wait in my curse for a few hours. No word from Fed Ex. I finally give in and call them back. They track all packages out of our facility, and let me just say that is a lot. They do find 5 packages going from Accokeek to Albuquerque. But the tracking numbers aren't even close to the ones I have for them. We're not talking inverted digits. We're talking completely different numbers. Which is what FedEx.com to discover there is some bizarre glitch in their online system, but my packages have shipped just fine. In fact, they are being delivered within the hour. Even though the website is still telling me they are not in the system. Bizarre.

So I wait a few more hours and call UPS again. In spite of the flooding, some packages were able to ship out of the facility. And by some packages, I mean only my packages.

And let me just add that my sexy raspy hacking squeaky coughing mouse voice only added to the enjoyment of the day.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Goals for the week

Patience with those I have no patience for.

At least 6 hrs of sleep each night.

Get rid of head cold. Get voice back.

Get over self-consciousness issues and buy a bathing suit.

Work out 4 times. I'm going for realistic.

Not obsess over people who communicate by not communicating. Which may prove impossible.

50 sit ups each night. Should help with bathing suit goal.

Meet some new guys. Preferably ones without communication problems.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

It's Bloody Cold
Just for the record I liked James Blunt and "You're Beautiful" only the first 500 times I heard it. Now I like "Bloody Cold" much better.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

give it to me straight

I'm so tired of patience. Anyone who has spent even the least amount of time around me in the last 6 months knows that I have pretty much lost all of the patience I ever had. I have lost my tolerance and ability to actually give a damn about whiny people. I've also lost a lot of my patience with men. And yet, all at the same time, I've become considerably more forgiving. Basically, I've stopped caring. If you don't care, you don't have to have a reason to lose your patience. And if you don't care, you don't have to make up excuses when a boy doesn't call/write/im, etc. Not caring also means not losing your temper, and not having to forgive people cause even though they are annoying, it doesn't mean anything.

Not caring is the best thing going in my life.

But then there's those little tip of the iceberg things.
A clueless co-worker who keeps telling you how to do your job.
Alonzo falling off the face of the earth with absolutely no warning.
Alec's inability to commit to the smallest thing.
People who think you actually care and have feelings for them, when really, you don't care a freaking flying fig about them.

I hate confrontation more than anything else in this world. I really really do. I hate confrontations even more than I hate snakes. And that is saying something. So when you have a co-worker who thinks everything requires a confrontation, how do you handle it? I asked other people, and their response was "just argue with her. It's what she wants." I hate arguing with people though!

And how do you explain to someone that while they are giving me way too much credit for caring about their feelings? Guess what? I really really don't! I know. I'm awful, I'm terrible. But I've got enough going on without having to also worry about all your stupid little emotional needs today.

And how much patience do you have to have with a guy? How long do you have to wait and wonder why they stopped calling? And how long do you have to wait for them to make a decision???

All this not caring is wearing me out!

Boo!!!


I demand a recount!!!
How can anyone, ANYONE, even pretend that Elliott, Katherine, or Taylor are better than Chris??
Even without winning, I still predict Chris will be the biggest Idol ever.
I won't even finish watching the season now. There's no point. No one else even compares to Chris and his lovely boxer briefs.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

i'm a little bit busy

May 19- Attend first meeting of a political activist group. More details later.
May 20- Big bridal shower.
May 21-23- Go to Wisconsin. And really, what spells happiness more than a trip to WI?
May 26-June 3- Vacation! Write the great American novel while swinging in a hammock, sipping two pina coladas, one for each hand. Wait, how will I write if both hands have a pina colada? Hmm… guess I need to bring a man in a loin cloth and a giant feather to hold the drinks for me. Any volunteers?
June 3- Pirates of Penzance with Rae at Wolf Trap
June 8- Jewel concert at Wolf Trap with Sherpa
June 10- Angela’s wedding.
June 14-16- go to Houston for big work thing
June 17- Paint the Town Red Day.
June 18-21- Orlando to visit a Sheriffs convention. Staying in one helluva nice hotel.
June 21-23- Tampa- actually finish working on the 22nd, so the 23rd is just a play day. Will be spent with two adorable fairy god-daughters at Busch Gardens FL. (I hope! Will their mommy let them come out and play?)
Jun 30-July 4- There will be a road trip or hiking somewhere.
July 8- Big singles party at big beautiful location in McLean
July 10-14- Girls Camp

There must be a mistake in there somewhere. That can’t really be every single week between now and July 8 already booked??

Monday, May 08, 2006

You know it's Monday when...

1. You have to kick your roommate out.
2. Her response, "No, you move out!"
3. You call the police to start a restraining order against her and her violent outbursts.
4. Your car won't start in the rain.
5. You have a migraine before you even get to work.
6. You have so much to do at work your brain hurts.

Someone please send happy thoughts and chocolate my way.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Sweeping Generalizations

I'm going to tell you all the truth about dating, especially online dating, right here, right now. I am doing this because of the recurring conversations I have had with men lately that make me realize how precious little they understand women and what they want.

First, for all of their independence, strength, and so-called aloofness, all women do want to be swept off their feet. Maybe not in the instant you have met them, and probably not every time you see them. But at least once. Every woman wants one good sweeping. (Warning: some women will enjoy the sweeping so much that she will want it all the time. But this is a good thing for you. Think of how she responds to the sweeping and ask yourself if you want that sort of a happy woman around you all the time.) Why does she want the sweeping? Because when you sweep her off her feet she knows for sure in that one moment that you want her to want you.

Lately a particular friend (who won't let me out him) has complained about online "dating" and cited distance as the root of all his problems. He lives in a remote place where apparently the milk and honey just don't flow. So he's using the internet as a convenient way to be introduced to new women. He's met one that he's sincerely interested in. And all signs indicate she's sincerely interested back. But he's decided to just completely drop her. Why? Distance. She's just too far away. She has a good job. She's a happy person. He's not in a position where he could move to join her. Oh wait, do keep in mind they've only emailed and chatted a lot. They aren't actually dating. But yet, he's just stopped talking to her because he can't move to join her.

Um, what?

Hello! Absurdity!

Let's back up here. And return to the first topic of sweeping and women. Women want to be swept. They want to fall in love and fall hard. And they want to fall for a guy that is just so great and so sweeping that she won't ever have to think twice about leaving the world as she knows it and joining yours. I'm not saying that this always applies all the time. There are plenty of individual cases where the girl doesn't have the capacity to up and leave her life. But pretty much, every girl I know wants to be so swept that she wouldn't think twice.

Next, there isn't a girl alive who wants to live in denial. Men, if you don't know what you want, can't decide how much you want, or are basically bored with the girl, just tell her. No girl wants to keep sitting around not knowing why he doesn't call, why sometimes he wants to see her, and other times he blows her off, etc. As a general rule, as much as the thought makes you pee your pants, tell her what is going on in your head. She needs to hear it. For every day that you spend "just not talking to her today" she has spent that whole day wondering why you haven't talked to her. She has dreamed up every possible scenario to analyze why you didn't pass her in the hall at the usual time, why you didn't IM when you were online today, why you didn't call. And you know what? These scenarios run from the completely plausible (he was busy, he was home sick, he wasn't at his computer) to the absolutely absurd and panicked (he's quit his job because he never wants to see me again, he's blocked me, he's engaged to someone else, i'm too fat, i'm too ugly, etc.). She can seriously ruin her entire week over a missed routine lunch break all because you didn't have the guts to tell her, "I think you are great. I love eating lunch with you every day. But when I talk to you I realize I'm not sure I'm ready for a serious relationship with you." Or better yet, "You're cool. We should be friends."

Girls aren't that difficult. They just want to know what you think of them, and they just want to be swept off their feet. Never underestimate how far a girl is willing to go for you. You'd be amazed.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

happy blogabirthday

The blog has had a birthday of sorts today. Visitor #8000 clicked in.

So visitor-
4 May
13:23:06
MSIE 6.0
Windows XP
unknown
United States
99.sub-70-221-46.myvzw.com (70.221.46.99)

Cellco Partnership Dba Verizon Wireless

Congrats, you were number 8000. If you were to admit to who you are (even though I'm pretty sure I know), I would give you some sort of prize for being lucky #8000.

If you aren't sure if that is you, I'll help out. You tend to check in every day around 9, and you are most likely checking from a Treo. But that part I can't prove. But all signs indicate that you do. So speak up and win your prize!

May the Fourth Be With You - Yahoo! Buzz Log

May the Fourth Be With You - Yahoo! Buzz Log

See! It's not just me!
But I still like to think I invented it oh so many years ago.

May the Fourth Be With You

Happy May the Fourth Be With You Day to you all!

Best day of the whole freaking year.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

after 15 years of dating, maybe i should make some changes


I am neurotic. There I have said it. I freak out over little things and need assurances for the truly stupid things.

For instance...

All things related to men and me.

I have massive trust issues when it comes to men. But at the same exact time I am way too trusting. I won't give my heart over to just anyone. Practically no one actually. But when I do find someone I trust, I hand it over very fast. Probably too fast, but I'm neurotic and have trust issues, so it's really hard for me to say. And quite frankly, I don't think most of the recipients have ever known.

So lately I have been thinking about the recipients and the things they have had in common. The recipients fall into 2 distinct categories- the jerks and the funny ones. And clearly, after 15 years of dating, this isn't working for me. So then I started thinking about the men that never became unwitting recipients (also known as the guys who never knew i gave my heart to them, or otherwise ignored it fully). And there's just so many of those guys that I can't even begin to describe their characteristics.

One thing I have noticed throughout my relationships, and other people's relationships, is the "Center of Attention/Audience" factor. And I've been talking a lot about this with different friends lately. I have noticed that in many happy couples there tends to be the "Center of Attention" (COA) and an Audience. Or in other words, one half of the couple is the social butterfly/look at me type, while the other one is content to do the watching. This is, of course, a gross generalization, and these things don't necessarily correspond to the interpersonal relationship, as much as it does in the large group relationships. In my discussions with my girlfriends on this subject the one overriding theme I kept hearing was that they all want to be the audience in a relationship. Which truly cracks me up because I don't know that any of my girlfriends are capable of being the audience ever. And that is when it really hit home for me that girls really do want to have a man that they can rely on, lean on, depend on. In short, they want a man to take care of them- not that they need the help. IMHO, when my girlfriends all said they want to be the audience, what they really meant is that they want a man that they can respect.

What do I want? I'm not sure. I know what I wanted in the past- a class clown, a strong leader, the center of attention. My happiest relationships were with guys who fit that description, but then treated me as their equal. But those relationships also all ended for the same reason- in short, they couldn't handle my ambitions. (actual quote there, folks) So maybe it is time I change that. Maybe it is time for me to start looking less at the loud mouths and more at the nice and simpler guys. I've heard rumors that nice guys do exist. Maybe what I need is an "audience" guy. A quieter, more reserved guy to play off my loud and COA ways?

If at any point someone thinks that I am suggesting that an audience personality is a negative thing, you are greatly mistaken. It's a yin and yang thing. It's a human nature opposites create balance thing.

So I have met two great guys lately. Neither one of course has a clue that I am more than willing to offer up my heart to him. Because, as always, I have fallen into my usual bad habits and turned at least one (the front runner actually) into a "good friend." I don't need any more good friends. I'm rather full up on good friends right now (not that a girl can ever have too many). Of course, what this unwitting recipient doesn't know is how rarely I allow someone to become a good friend and that along with it comes my heart.

So how do you do it? How do you just tell someone your heart is being offered up to them? How do you say, "You're not what I thought I wanted, but our friendship has convinced me otherwise?" Especially to someone you hardly know? And how do you tell them that you see the obstacles in your path as well, but you have what it takes to get around them? Especially without breaking your own heart in the process...

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Reasonable Neurosis

What is the silliest thing you have ever done in the name of romance? What is the most neurotic you have ever been? How obsessive have you been? How incredibly dumb have you been? And I'm not talking about anything pre-college grad days. I'm talking as a so-called reasonable adult. Because I know some of you have dumb some pretty insane and neurotic thing. And I know I have as well. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done just to either get to see the guy, make the girl think "you are always like that," etc. Anything. I'm curious.

No, I haven't done anything. At least not yet. But many of you know I'm enduring massive amounts of "Alec and Alonzo" issues right now. ("It's best to be levelheaded, of course," agreed Philippa, "but you miss lots of fun. As for Alec and Alonzo, if you knew them you'd understand why it's difficult to choose between them. They're equally nice.") I can just feel it coming on. I can feel my own stupidity and willingness to be dumb all in the name of twitterpation taking over my brain.

Okay, so maybe there was one stupid thing I did today. I didn't hear from "Alonzo." But I know he reads this. And I stalked him with the statcounter. I'm pathetic. I know. And I guess it's a good sign that he didn't check the blog today either. So I guess he was just busy, right? (If Tara can out herself and her neurosis on her blog, I can half way out myself on mine, right?)

Seriously, your obsessions, pathetic maneuvers, and charming stupidty are all very welcome right here. You can all use the "anonymous" feature, and I promise not to out anyone with my statcounter. Really. I promise. Please tell me your stupidity. I need it.

decisions, decisions

Do I...

Go indulge my love of Polynesia at

ROC the Planet tonight?

or

Stay home and watch my absolute 3 most favorite shows-
American Idol.
House
and last, but never least,
Gilmore Girls

What is it about Sweeps Week that paralyzes me and makes me want to do nothing more than sit on the couch and watch TV all night?

Especially when there's perfect weather outside, and I should be out
car shopping. At least I know what car I want. Now I just have to find the right deal on it.

Monday, May 01, 2006

getting a complex

As many of my friends know, I have a love/hate relationship with my statcounter. I go for long stretches where I never bother to check it, and then little spurts of addiction where I obsessively check it multiple times a day. And today it gave me a complex.
One of the things the statcounter shows is how people got to the website. 90% of the hits I get don't show a trail, or in other words, you aren't following a link. You either type it in directly or it's bookmarked or something. But I can also see if you have followed a link from Tara, Steph, Hardy's, etc websites. I can also see if you have googled my name for some reason. And that is what is giving me a complex. How many people googled my name today.
To be honest, I can't track back most addresses. There are certain people I know for sure, such as "Palm Bay, FL Road Runner" (hello Jules), and AOL Reston (hello Gwen). But there are a lot of you I have no idea about. In general I get between 30-40 hits a day, not counting "multiple page loads." Multiple page loads means the same person came back multiple times in one day. I ignore that number and only look at unique visitors and returning visitors. I pretty consistently get 26 returning visitors a day, and about 5-10 new visitors a day. But today for some crazy reason I had over 30 NEW visitors a day, and 40 returning visitors. And that is why I'm a little wierded out.
How anonymous are you from me? Well, for the most part I can't track an IP address beyond, "Comcast Arlington," which gets more than half my hits in a day. Some with "Cox Comm, Vienna." But there are other ones that are obvious to me, such as "KPMG New Jersey" (hi Ann).
So back to the googling thing. I doubt the person will come back tomorrow, so I won't be too discreet. There is someone I'm not sure I'm on good terms with. For the record, I harbor no ill will. But things are a little sketchy there still. I emailed that person today, and within minutes of sending the email my name was googled from said person's place of business. Now it is entirely possible that it isn't that person, and it's just a coincidence. But the same person, whomever they may be, went and read EVERY single page on my blog. Every last archived page. And that is what I think is a little wonky.
I think it is great that there are so many people who continuously read this that I have never met. I have plenty of blogs that I lurk on and love to check up on. But does it bother anyone else that someone would google their name and then read every page of the archives?
Maybe it's just time for me to turn off the statcounter and live in peace?

I've been noticing a recurring phenomena lately among certain guys. They are the nice guys that are friends with every girl you know. They always seem to be in tow of a group of girls. In the past I have preached against the Harem Effect. This is the opposite of the Harem Effect. The Harem Effect means that one guy has a whole harem of girls that follows him around. This is Queen Bee Effect, where one girl has a whole boodle of friends who follow her and one guy she swarms and keeps within her reach.
But this is about the guy, not the girl, in this scenario. These guys tend to be the nicest and most lovable guys around. A girl will latch herself onto him and begin to direct his social life. Of course, she wants the guy for herself, but since he hasn't figured out yet that she has ulterior motives, he just goes along. After all, she's a nice girl, why shouldn't he?

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