A particular candidate for THE LIST has been concerned for the last week about whether or not he is on THE LIST. He's been wondering if he is the Cowboy or not. I won't confirm or deny, but really, I'm a little insulted that he thinks I would be that unoriginal in nicknaming him. But then again, I thought he didn't read this blog, so maybe I didn't have to be so original?
Either way, we had a funny conversation today. For the sake of this conversation, he will be Kenny Rogers and I will be Dolly Parton.
Kenny Rogers: I had a weird dream about you last night. Don't worry, I'm not going to go all pervy on you here.
Dolly Parton (in her head): Dang it. (outloud) Okay.
Kenny Rogers: I had this dream that I was in your blog. You had created another "guy" list and I was labeled as the "Frisky Sailor." Which was odd because I am neither a sailor, nor have I been frisky.
Dolly searches in her head for a plausible reason for this dream. There is none.
Dolly Parton: Do you have a cat that eats Friskies? A cat named Sailor that eats Friskies? Which would be a dumb name for a cat, because cats hate water.
Kenny Rogers: Nope. But I was thinking of you and your blog before I went to sleep.
Dolly in her head only: As you should...
(What Kenny couldn't see was that Dolly got excited by that response. Most girls, Dolly or not, would. Little does Kenny know how much girls like those kinds of comments.)
Kenny Rogers: So that is probably what caused my strange dreams.
Dolly in her head: Never tell a girl you were thinking about her and then call it "strange."
Dolly Parton outloud: So what did I say about the Frisky Sailor?
Kenny Rogers: then for some reason in my dream I had braces again
Dolly in her head again: Aw, how cute.
Dolly Parton outloud: Were they the kind of braces with pink rubber bands around them? Cause those are hot.
Kenny Rogers: I don't remember what the description was just the title
Dolly Parton: hmm... not my best writing then... I'll have to work on my dream writing
Kenny Rogers: And in my dream I was like, "oh great, now I'm a freaking frisky sailor"
Dolly Parton: Well, which is worse? frisky sailor or cowboy
Kenny Rogers: Next time I'll give you back your "dream draft" with the appropriate corrections. And frisky sailor is way worse
Dolly Parton: I'd appreciate that, thanks. (Dolly pauses briefly.) A lot of sailors get lucky at fleet week. (Another Dolly pause.) I think that is coming up again soon .
Kenny Rogers: Well you had better clear your schedule then
Dolly Parton: Cleared.
Who knew a blog could invoke such dreams in a young man?
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
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