Saturday, November 25, 2006

Thankful for Tryptophan

There's a lot going on right now. Just enough going on that I have little energy left to blog a whole lot. Bottom line- work is kicking my butt. Plus there's all those other responsibilities to deal with like singles conferences, building a side business, writing a book, cleaning my bathroom, and calling for pizza.
One of the bigger stresses in my life is also taking an assessment of my life. In the past few years I have made some major goals for myself, and for the most part, I have done a decent job of accomplishing them, or at least moved in the right directions. Those have included buying a car, publishing a book, and some other things.
Some of my bigger long-term goals also include home ownership and becoming a foster mother. This will require some other major changes in my life, (which due to the fact that sometimes you can't trust people to not go running their mouths to the wrong people can't be outlined further here), and this weekend I made some big steps to making those things happen. They are still 6-10 months away from happening, but there are still little things I can do here and there to make my goals a reality. And I have to just come to terms that my dreams aren't always realistic. For instance, what I really want is a little log cabin up in the mountains, preferably with enough land for 2-3 horses. A-frame, in Luray, with a loft, and I'd like it to be a small 2 bedroom cabin, so I can take in a teenage foster daughter. But the reality is that my job is in Southern Maryland, which is absolutely nowhere near the mountains. So maybe I'll have to revise my plan to include a small condo in Arlington, and delay the horses a few more years.
I've been a little surprised at some of the reactions I have received regarding becoming a foster parent. There have been those who were mildly curious, but mostly disbelieving. I'll assume they think this is a phase that too shall pass. What they don't know is that I have been planning on doing this for at least 5 years now. I just knew I had to get myself to a financially stable place for it first. There have been some (few) that were pleasantly supportive. And then there are those who flat out told me I am sinning by doing this, after all, our Church teaches that a child needs a father and a mother. Therefore, single parenting is wrong and frowned upon. Well, my argument to that is simple. A foster child has a mother and a father. I'm not attempting to be either of those things. I just want to provide a safe home and hot meal, and hopefully be a good role model. I'd like to help a teenage girl learn about independence and stability and how to take care of herself before the state says she's on her own. I just can't see how that is wrong to do. But apparently there are those who disagree strongly with me, and have made it clear they wouldn't offer support. I guess I won't be inviting them over for Thanksgiving dinner in my new house.
Other goals, besides buying a home in 10 months and becoming a foster parent, include really getting into shape. I'm not talking about losing 20 lbs. I'm talking really getting into shape. Oh, and learning to sew. I have the basics down, but I've never had the dedication to really get good at it. Blame it on "Project Runway" I guess, but lately I've been feeling this huge urge to be able to design and create things on my own. (this also goes along with my fairy tale where i have a cabin in the mountains, grow my own garden, live partially off the land, and sew my own clothes and home decor, and raise a teenage girl to join my in my quest to form the first All Female Nature Loving Conservatives political party.) And there's always that goal of writing a few more novels.
Why am I setting goals in mid-November? I don't know. I guess it is this overwhelming feeling that my life is not where I want it to be, or what I want it to be. I'm not complaining. But basically, I really don't want to be "Carrie Bradshaw." (if you don't know who carrie is, you don't watch "sex in the city.") I'd much rather by Laura Ingalls. Or maybe some version of Carrie meets Laura??

3 comments:

  1. Jules9:50 AM

    Being like Laura Ingalls Wilder is an excellent goal! I just finished a biography on her. Did you know her husband suffered a stroke early in their marriage, and she supported them? She was an amazingly strong woman, and her daughter Rose ended up a famous, world-renowned author and reporter on her own? I loved Laura before, since the Little House books were my favorites growing up, but I earned great respect for her as she grew into herself as a writer with her daughter's support and help.

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  2. Anonymous4:01 PM

    Shame on those people who view your taking in a foster child as some sort of abomonation! (spelling?)
    Yes, a child should have a father AND a mother. But if they don't... they shouldn't have anyone?
    That's like saying if you can't provide a homeless person three meals a day - they're better off if they're not fed at all!
    Ridiculous!

    This is similar to people who criticized Madonna for adopting the African baby... Anyone who is NOT going out of their way to help a child can't criticize someone who does.

    YOu know what... here's your retort for people like that, say: "You're right. Maybe I should leave it up to you."

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  3. I had an crazy conversation with someone yesterday who flat out told me that becoming a foster mother would be giving up on my own future. I asked him if he would still date me if I become a foster parent, and he said yes, but that he doesn't think our relationship could withstand the stress. (He has children of his own, so i think this is totally hypocritical.)
    I'm just stunned that people don't see this as a good thing.

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