Sunday, August 26, 2007

End <- Rope <- Me

I don't have much to say. I'm tired, frustrated and yeah, tired and frustrated. I'm so tired of having to try so hard to be happy here. It's hard to consider yourself happy when you have to work so hard to be happy. Does that make sense? Earlier this week I posted that I was struggling with whether or not to let something make me happy. It does make me happy. And for that one thing in my life, I am happy and grateful. But overall, I'm very tired and frustrated here. I still feel like I'm not in the life I signed up for. I am me, though, and therefore, proactively trying to change my situation. The first major step is to find a new place to live. I think a slightly more social and singles oriented neighborhood is the first smart move. Then I'll work on the other unhappy issues.
Until then- ugh. I'm tired.

1 comment:

  1. I completely understand how you feel. Moving to Seattle was like that for me. I have a feeling that every move after 31 will be that hard--I moved cross-country five or six times before 31 and though the adjustment was never easy, the support of a singles ward really made a HUGE difference. Finding the right roommate situation also made a huge difference--living alone for the first time in Seattle, the first time I'd ever lived without roommates, on top of the life-changing move cross country, new job, and graduating grad school--really were too much for me to bear alone back then.

    I'll tell you, the thing that made the big difference for me was finding roommates. While I loved living alone, sometimes being alone with my thoughts while trying to adjust to a new place just took too much energy. Much as roommates annoy me on several levels--most especially the lack of control over how my stuff is treated by other people--it means a lot to my emotional health just to have other people who care about whether I'm alive, if for no other reason than that they need me to pay rent. ;)

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