Monday, March 10, 2008

Public Service Announcement

Attn Woman Who Sat Next to Me in Church Today:
1. I understand that suffering from a cold sore is bad enough and that you have to apply substances to your lip to attempt to heal it. However, it is never a good idea to whip out the Herpecin-L in a large setting of singles. It doesn't send the signal you want to send.
1.a. If you are going to ignore Rule 1, at least don't apply so much of the lip balm that it leaves a very noticeable white coating. That really sends the wrong message. And looks really gross.

2. I get that not everyone is concerned about fashion. But there is also something called having a little pride in your appearance. Your shirt was clean, for that I applaud you. But it had a very large iron scorch in the center of your back. That overrides clean unfortunately. And shows a complete lack of pride in your appearance.

If you are going to attend a singles congregation, you may have more success just by following these 2 simple rules. I could give you more advice, like not to scratch your legs so hard that the skin flakes off and falls on your black shoes. And that it really confuses people when you try and stare down their dresses while holding your head perfectly still. It makes you look a little deformed and the opposite of cross-eyed (whatever that is).

3 comments:

  1. LOL! That is hilarious!:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. jules5:15 PM

    Opposite of cross-eyed: wall-eyed.

    Also....ick. If this is your competition, gf, you have nothing to worry about.

    ReplyDelete
  3. judge not? jesus heals the lepers as easily as he healed the prostitutes. it was the pharasies and saducees that he could not heal, because of their pride. 1ne 13:7-9; jacob 2:13-21

    ReplyDelete

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