Sunday, March 23, 2008

Where have all the good ones gone?

Where have all the good ones gone?
Seriously, where are all the good guys?

(we interrupt this quarterly eruption of female emotions to give all of you who don't want to read my thoughts on men, love, sex and life the chance to click off the page. bye bye.)

I think I am a half decent catch. I'm smart, talented, have good manners, don't chew with my mouth open, and as far as Mormons go, I'm a good one. I do the right things. I go to church each week. I work hard. And in my humble opinion, I'm not horribly unattractive.

So why am I at home on a Saturday night watching "The Karate Kid?" (No, really, I am.)

Because I can't find a decent Mormon guy to save my life. Is it so much to ask that I find someone who has worked as hard as I have to be active in our religion? Has a job? Decent manners? And can carry on a partially coherent conversation without making me wonder if that thing he is doing is a permanent tic?

I get that it's harder over 30. (I just never imagined how much harder.) I meet guys on rare occasion. I just can't remember the last time I met a guy that had at least a third of the characteristics I'm looking for. I'm open minded. I'm not going to disqualify a guy just because he isn't perfect. But come on guys!

Case in point, I met a decent guy a while back. We had some good chemistry. He had plenty of good qualities, right up until he told me that he was only looking for a girl that was interested in a long term sexual relationship with him. Not marriage, no Mormon values. Just a long term sexual relationship.

That didn't go anywhere.

The next guy I met was fairly decent as well. I thought he was very nice and interesting, except all he wants to talk about is sports. And I can only talk sports for about 10 minutes before we've exceeded my knowledge of the subject. But I'm not naive, people. I'm a 33 yr old Mormon girl who needs to lose another 20 lbs. I'm not too picky so as to rule out a guy just because he can only talk sports. I ruled him out because he doesn't know the difference between a cliche and a Bible teaching. And I'm not talking he has a limited vocabulary. He really doesn't know the difference. And that's a problem for me.

I have a hard time believing only the women were smart enough and good enough. It can't possibly be that ALL guys decided on their 30th birthdays to just completely give up on everything they were taught before. There has to be at least 2 or 3 guys left out there, right?

It just frustrates me to no end to be looked upon as being "too picky" because I have the standards I was taught to have and believe in. But I'm not going to change or lower my standards. I will remain as open minded as ever on this subject.

And yet I spend another Saturday night at home watching a bad movie.


  1. Good for you and not backing down on your standards and what you believe! I don't think you are being "too picky" and if you do "settle" then you will be in for a pretty unhappy marriage in the first place- so I say keep on truckin'! You will find him someday- and it will be WORTH the wait:)

  2. Oh Erinannie! I can SO relate to your plight.

    And after 30 it's that much MORE frustrating!!

    Don't give up on your beliefs, your morals and values. The day will come that the particular Someone comes along who appreciates all those qualities. I promise.

    It happened to me. I was to the point where I figured the only shot I had was to ask that a man be 'okay' with the fact that I attend Mass every Sunday and have a strong faith life. He didn't have to go with me, he didn't have to understand... as long as he didn't think I was freak for being 'religious'.

    Then... when I met Mr. Burns - I met a man who not only goes to Mass every Sunday (before he even met me!!) but lectors at his church. (lector = read the bible scriptures at Mass - for those who don't know) He leads bible study at his church and prays ferverently.

    He has manners, although I have to remind him sometimes not to slurp when he's hungrily wolfing something down.

    And, on our very first date he explained to me that he felt sex is reserved for marriage - thought he should tell me right away lest I found that to be a deal breaker.

    On top of that, he fun, hilarious, a real family man and pretty darn cute!

    I'm not saying this to brag. Rather I share this in hopes of encouraging you to hold out for what you know, deep in your heart, that you deserve. What you need in a man in order for you to be a loving and devoted girlfriend/wife. When you find him... I hope you are stunned as I was to realize that there is a man who not only meets your expectations but EXCEEDS them.

    That my dear Erinannie, is cause for great joy and much celebration. I can't wait to read about it some day soon!

    Meanwhile, I also understand how you feel RIGHT NOW. I too was at the point that I declared... "If I'M still single - and so many of my wonderful, beautiful, smart, funny and successful women friends are still single... there MUST be something wrong with the men."

    Chin up sister. You're almost there.


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