Sunday, June 29, 2008

The writing bug or opening my soul?

I actually sat down and did some serious writing this weekend. The bug is back and I'm enjoying myself. I thought I'd try and spur myself into more writing by sharing what I have done, and look for a little feedback.
So here's a little passage from this weekend's efforts. The character is a confused and conflicted 30-something single woman talking to her long term boyfriend who has been gone on a long business trip. What do you think?

It's not that I hate you. It's not that you have done anything wrong. It's that while you are gone my insecurities creep in and I begin to doubt. I wonder where you are and who you are with. And suddenly, my insecurities turn into resentment and jealousy. I'm resenting you because you aren't with me. Jealous that you have a life beyond us. And before long my resentment becomes hate. And I think I hate you and you haven't done anything to deserve it, and don't even know what I am going through or what I am feeling. And I don't even know if you care that I am thinking all of this? And then I realize that it isn't fair to either of us. Because the truth is that I love you. I love you so much. But I hate you sometimes. And I don't know what to do about that. All I know is I love you and I need you. I need you in my life to talk me down from these ledges I put myself on. And how confusing is that? You are the person I love and trust more than anything in this world. But I hate you because I can't trust you. Or me.
Thoughts??

6 comments:

  1. I'm confused. :) But I think your character is, too!

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  2. Wow. I think you have perfectly captured one of the biggest pains of relationships. Even after 10 years of marriage, I find myself thinking nearly these exact thoughts sometimes.

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  3. I'm with Libby! That is exactly how I feel when Mr. Burns is away for work so much.
    Though it's not as strong as hate.
    The difference is... he doesn't know what it's like to sit in a woman's brain doing all that thinking.
    He's just been working hard and comes back and I'm all pissed and lonely!

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  4. Anonymous6:30 PM

    Hello, I know I don't know you, but I felt compelled to comment. I have been frustrated with some things in my life lately, and, out of sheer frustration, decided to type my thoughts into google and see what came up- well, you came up, and you have very artfully put my thoughts into words. So, I just thought I would thank you for the surprise and the description that I just couldn't put my finger on.

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  5. Erin, I love your writings, and I think you are brilliant. Reading anything you write motivates me. I really look up to you for that.

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  6. Holy cow. I could say that EXACT THING IN IT'S ENTIRETY to a friend of mine. Wow.

    It's interesting to see it written like that.

    Thanks.

    I think.


    ;)

    ReplyDelete

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