Sunday, November 30, 2008

Where's a Magic 8 Ball when you need one?

This time last year I was entering into what I hope was the most stressful period of my life (in other words, I hope life never again gets as rough as it was last year). I was not-so-kindly told to go find a new job, and anxiously job hunting, dealing with the sudden and unexpected onset of 30 kidney stones, finding myself facing holiday depression, and then just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I was given three weeks to find a place and move, when I could barely walk from the bedroom to the bathroom. And then there was the Lortab dependency, miserable and worst Utah winter in years, and a car accident to boot.

Yeah, last year kind of sucked. Big time.

As a result, I'm entering into the holiday season by walking on egg shells. I'm nervous about a repeat. Every time I feel the tiniest twinge or pain in my side or back I fear going through 30 more kidney stones without health insurance. I have a new job, which is giving me freedoms I have wanted all my life, but needless to say, after 4 jobs in one year, I'm a bit paranoid when it comes to job stability. Things by no means are perfect right now, but at least my new stresses are good "maturing" problems.

There are major decisions ahead of me. And unfortunately they are choices I have to make right now during the holidays when there's too many other things to be contemplating. But they are good decisions. Ones I want to make. It would help considerably if I knew how to answer them without stressing over them.

Some of the things on my plate-
1. Buy or rent?
2. My job allows me the freedom to live wherever I want. Where is that exactly?
3. Foster parenting. (Only works if I stay in Utah.)
4. Go home for Christmas to a place that isn't my home? Or spend the $600 for a ticket on something more useful?

There's more, but that's enough for now. 

And then there's just those other thoughts that keep creeping into my head. Thoughts like...

1. Is there any point to dating after 30?
2. Are there any normal men after 30??
3. Does becoming a single foster mother pretty much kill off all dating?
4. Am I ever going to lose weight?
5. Are there too many pictures hanging in my apartment? (I'm pretty sure the answer is yes.)

I need a magic 8 ball.

What a Crazy Few Days It Has Been

I'd love to give a more detailed report, but I'm on the new computer I purchased during the wee hours of Black Friday. Oh yes, I went all out and camped outside a Best Buy in order to save $400 off a printer and computer. Was it worth it? Probably so. Ask me again after I have my own internet connection to work with, and I'm not hijacking someone else's. Right now the hijacked access I have works slower than my memory recalls dial-up working. But I love my sleek fancy new laptop otherwise.
I have no idea if this blog post will work, or if the site will most likely time out before I get it loaded.
In other Thanksgiving news, I had a great day on Thursday with my cousin "Atlanta." It was just the two of us, and we kept it fairly low key. I'll post a picture of our meal when I have a better internet connection.
After "dinner" I headed off to join Shabang for Black Friday. I got home at 7 am, where I then had to work for 8 hours. After that, I took a very very short nap, and headed to Julipalooza's for Pie Fest. (Pie Fest is where everyone brings pie and leftovers to share.) And then there was more shopping.
I finally got home and into bed where I slept a solid 12 hours. It felt dang good.
Then I woke up and headed off to the Salt Lake Tabernacle on Temple Square!!!
Remember my big Bucket List moment I've been waiting for?? This was it! I wish I had pictures to share, but alas, no.
It was wonderful and exactly what I hoped for. After approximately 25 years of singing, choirs, musicals, voice lessons, and more, this was the musical moment I have always dreamed of. That big moment in an historic grand music hall, with an incredible choir (365 choir members), incredible band, harp, world famous organ, all producing that perfect musical note that sends vibrations through every listener, chills up your arms and spine, and the audience gives a roaring applause. After 6 months of rehearsal, and 25 or more years of singing, it was all worth it.
And now it is Sunday, and my body is full blown protest. Eating sporadically and splurging, bad sleeping habits, not to mention sleeping in a tent in a parking lot, 7 hours of singing, etc, and my body is sore everywhere. My throat hurts, my neck hurts, my back hurts, and I can't lift my left arm. I predict several naps and a lot of hooky from church today.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Fever Induced Random Thoughts

This morning I woke up quite happy. Why? I didn't feel sick any more. No more flu, fever, or general malaise. And "Pushing Daisies" was coming on in approximately 14 hours. I was very happy.
I worked, because that is what I do for 8 hours a day.
I felt so good I ate a Guacamole Bacon Cheeseburger. I felt that good!
And then I visited several stores, cruising the Black Friday deals in advance.
I chose to blissfully ignore the slight sore throat I felt in the late afternoon.
I did more homework on Black Friday and figured out where I am going to have to camp out starting at 6 pm on Thursday if I want to save $400 off a computer I desperately need and want.
I cleaned.
I did the pre-cooking.
I watched TV.
I laughed as the kitten made war with a stray frozen cranberry and his reflection in the window.
And gave in and admitted I have a fever and sore throat and I can't stop sneezing and blowing my nose.
This is not how I wanted to spend Thanksgiving.
It's not only going to put a damper on all the good eats, but its really going to ruin the $400 campout.
And let's not forget the even more important choir concert on Saturday at the Tabernacle! I can't be sick for that!
And now my kitten has taken my keys and jumped on top of the kitchen cabinets. And that just can't end well.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

And then I got the flu...

... and turned right back into the big baby that I really am.

And may I just say, this is NOT how I wanted to spend Thanksgiving?

Monday, November 24, 2008

More on fostering and adopting

Since my post on fostering raised a few questions about the LDS Church's stance on singles and adopting, I thought I'd write a post on the issue as I know it. This is not meant to be, in any way, shape, or form, the final word on the subject. It is what I personally have learned on the subject. If you have heard otherwise, and have documentation or links to back it up, I welcome them.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints set forth "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" on Sept 23, 1995. In this document, that the LDS Church recognizes as modern-day scripture, what a family and marriage is, is defined. Herein you will also find the declaration, "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

If there is anything to know about the LDS Church it is that we hold the family to be the most sacred and important of all things on Earth. Everything revolves around family. Family is the center of all things. We treasure children, and honor parents.

A child is entitled to a father and mother. It is that simple.

Now, the bottom line, plain and simple truth, is that I have not found one article in the databases that directly addresses the fact that children in the foster care system already have parents. Parents that are not worthy of their children. Children that deserve a new and loving home. And I have not found one article on fostering written since the Proclamation in 1995.

Which means that much of what I am about to say is the wisdom of man, mingled with scripture, and not just straight out scripture. In other words, it means there will be others who will disagree with me.

The LDS Church frowns upon singles adopting. After all, a child is entitled to a father and a mother. I have my arguments about why singles should be allowed to adopt. But I choose to uphold my leaders and the teachings of my church, and therefore CHOOSE to not publicly state my arguments.

However, I will also add that most countries do not allow singles to adopt. You have to have the money of Angelina Jolie to get around the laws and difficulties. Trust me on this one.

Now, back to fostering. There are some people who continue to argue that even the children in the foster care system deserve a mother and a father. My argument is that these children do have a father and a mother. Parents who do not deserve them. Many of these children end up in group homes, or state run facilities, because there isn't an adequate or appropriate home for them to go to. So why should I not be allowed to open my home to them?

I can provide a loving home to a foster child. I believe I make a good role model for a teenage girl who in just a few years will be kicked out of the system, and will be forced on to her own. What better place for her to spend her most crucial years than in the home of an independent single woman who can teach her how to take care of herself? The truth is I'd love a child of any age. But I mostly want to play that special role to a teenage girl. The fact that teenagers are the hardest to place in foster care only makes me want to do it more. Did you know that in Utah when a proper home cannot be found for teenagers that they are known to be sent to live in "juvy hall," even though they have committed no crime? While I believe a child deserves a father and a mother, I cannot sit by and watch a child live in a detention center when I could have opened my own home to him or her. Is my home not a better alternative than a state run facility?

I want to take just another moment here to acknowledge that this is National Adoption Month. I regularly read three blogs on adoption. Lindsay's blog, "the r house," is one of the most popular blogs on adoption I have found. Lindsay and I grew up in the Oakton Ward together. She is the adoptive mother of two beautiful little boys, and a strong and loud advocate, and a spokesperson for adoption. My friends Richard and Valerie (can I call you my friend too, Valerie?) are the parents of triplets, as well as the adoptive parents of two special needs/physically handicapped little boys. Richard and I have been friends for about ten years now. Nothing warms my heart like reading the stories of their adoptions. Valerie is also an expert on international adoptions. If you are considering one, I highly recommend reading their blog(s). Last but not least, Ginny and her family are moments away from picking up their new daughter in Ghana. Ginny and I have known each other since we were very little girls, and I am anxiously reading along and waiting for her darling little Esther to arrive.

Also, I am very grateful for my own parents who chose to adopt my brother and sister. I can still remember clearly the day my mother told me and my other sister that we were going to have a new baby brother come to live with us. Our close family friends had 3 adopted children at that point, each of a different race. My first question about my new brother was, "what color will he be?" I have adored and loved my brother and sister from the days they arrived in our home. And I have never once questioned that they are my eternal family.

While I would love to adopt a child of my own, not just because my biological clock wants a baby to hold, but because I truly believe in and hunger for the chance to help the less fortunate, I choose not to go that route right now. I can't say that some time in the future I won't change my mind. Like I've said before, ever since I was 12 years old I pictured myself with my own "Brangelina" family someday. It is possible that the foster care system will allow me that. And for now, that is enough.

**Side anecdote** Little and I were talking today about how I will be moving to a bigger apartment soon, one that will have an office space, plus an extra bedroom so I can bring in a foster child. I could see she was concerned immediately that this may be the end of our relationship. I assured her that I would enroll my foster child in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program so that they too could have our relationship. And that she and I will continue to "be a match" when that day comes. She asked if I wanted a baby, and I said no, I was thinking a teenager or maybe a little boy (since I'm so used to little boys). She thought for a minute and said that I needed a teenager, because I'd be the coolest mom ever to a teenager. And if Little says it, it must be true.

oh and then i cut my hair

And then I cut 4 inches off of my hair. That's all.

Due West Meets Little

If you have been paying much attention to this blog for the past 6 months you will probably recognize that the 4 people in the picture below are 4 of my absolute most favorite people on the planet. The picture is of Due West (l-r, Brad, Tim, Matt) and "Little." And they (we) are standing in Little's elementary school.

On Friday, the DW boys were in town for a private gig. They did the radio thing on Friday morning over at 101.5 the Eagle. I managed to get myself out of bed, go buy a Diet Coke, and get back into bed in time to listen to them live on-air. Eventually I did get mostly out of bed to start working. It was shortly after that that they called me and said they wanted to hang out. Um... Sure... Let me just get dressed... So I went out for a late breakfast with the boys and had a good time talking shop and catching up with them. I rarely get them all to myself like that, so it was a fun treat.
Several weeks ago I had introduced Due West's music to Little. She loves it. She has a favorite song by them, and she plays it in my car all the time. I had promised her a while back that I would try to find a way to introduce her to the boys and get her a "jam session" with them. Did I mention Little is an aspiring songwriter? She even sang one of her own songs for my mom last week when they met.
I had been hoping she'd get the chance to meet them this week, but the scheduling just wasn't working out unfortunately. But while we were hanging out at breakfast, Tim asked me when Little goes to lunch at school. I didn't know. So I contacted her mom and we got some info. And next thing you know, we're driving over to the school for the boys to serenade her at lunch.
I walked into the school, and just happen to catch her walking into the cafeteria. She didn't even act like it was unusual for me to be showing up at her school like that. She gave me a hug, and I pointed out the "boys with guitars" walking into the school. She lit up!! I told her to go find some friends and we'd join her in the cafeteria in a minute.

The DW boys were great. They walked in, introduced themselves to her, and played her favorite song, "22 Hours a Day." And they even changed the words from "red bull" to "xango" for her. (Little and I sing "xango" because Xango supports Real Salt Lake, and RSL's archenemy is the NY Red Bulls.) Little sang along and seemed to really enjoy herself. If it had been me at her age, I would have turned red, hid behind a friend,and died of embarrassment (while eating up the attention) to have 3 boys singing to me like that. But not Little. She acted like this sort of thing happens to her all the time, and just lived it up.
The rest of the kids in the cafeteria clapped along, and even chanted "encore" when they were done. Several of the kids lined up for high fives and fist bumps as the band walked out. The principal stopped to get pictures with the band. (and apparently called a local newspaper afterwards to tell them what had happened)
I'm sure half the kids in the room thought Billy Ray Cyrus had just serenaded Little. (Because Tim is a dead ringer for Billy Ray.) I've heard feedback that Little was quite popular in school that day!

Again a big thank you to my Due West boys for being so good to me and Little. I'm sure she'll never forget it. And can you imagine in the future when DW is headlining the CMA's and AMA's the story she'll get to tell her friends about the day when Due West came to her school just to sing to her?? Thanks again, boys!

Sunday, November 23, 2008


For the past few weeks I have been putting a lot of thought into some of my longer term life goals. My goals are varied from buying a home, to climbing Kilimanjaro, publishing another book, dancing at an Inaugural ball, participating in movie production, and becoming a foster parent.
I've noticed that my life goals tend to resemble some people's "Bucket Lists." I guess I tend to think in really huge goals sometimes.
Many of these goals have time stamps on them. I plan to do them by a certain age. And everything I listed above I have been telling myself in my head I would do by the time I am 35. And my 34th birthday is rapidly approaching. But 2 of my goals are going to be within my reach this year- buying a home, and becoming a foster parent. (If I'm honest with myself I could also climb Kilimanjaro and write a book and dance at an Inaugural Ball. But that requires more discipline than I really have, and I had meant to dance at a ball for a president I like, or at least voted for.)

As I have looked into the requirements for fostering, I am becoming more aware of different states and their laws, and what is required. Utah does not make it easy for singles to foster. In fact, they almost treat it like a punishment. Singles can only take in children with disabilities or major psychological problems. (There are some exceptions to the rule, but not many.) Now, I wasn't naive enough to think that I could become a foster parent and get the perfect child from fostering, but I also had never considered the gravity of these other options either.

Now its true, I have NO ties to Utah really. I could up and move to a state with slightly more convenient laws and regulations. (For instance, a state that allows singles to adopt, which Utah does not. Even though I'm still not sure I intend to adopt. I at least want the option there for me.) But that would mean uprooting my life, and starting all over again, and delaying the process that much further. So I'm not sure that's really the best option for me.

But I have never before really given much thought to the idea of taking in a child with disabilities. The truth is, while I have been exposed to a few families with disabilities within them, I have never really had a lot of experience there. This is a very new idea for me.

When I am faced with a big decision my mental process is to imagine it all the way through, and picture myself doing it. I play out the options in my head from different angles, and can get really lost in my imagination in the process. I'm sure I've confused more than one person by asking questions about potential options as if I were at that point already. But that is just how my brain works. I have to live it out in my head before I can decide what to do. But in this scenario, I don't know what my variables are, or what it would be like. So this isn't so easy for me to think about when I don't know scenarios to play out in my head.

I have always pictured myself as having my own "Brangelina" rainbow family. (Quite frankly, I was planning it long before Brangelina made it cool. Possibly since about the sixth grade when my brother was adopted, and I was disappointed he was white. Up till that point I thought all adopted babies were different colors.) But now as I approach my 34th birthday, I'm starting to realize that I'll most likely never marry, and unless my family and church make some major opinion changes, I'll probably never adopt either. (I could never adopt without the support of my family.) I've always intended to foster parent though. And I'd like to get on with the fostering.

I'd welcome input from anyone who has raised or lived with a family member with a disability. Or has had experience with the foster care system. I'm not very familiar and would appreciate first hand accounts.

And in case you need me to support myself as a candidate- I think I am the ideal foster parent. I work from home, and therefore am always home. I have the flexibility in my schedule to work around school, sports, etc. I can provide personal attention to a child who may never have had it before. I enjoy working with children. I have plenty of disposable income. And, I've just always wanted to do it.

Your input is welcome.


Friday, November 21, 2008

Family, Friendships, and Loyalty

Tonight my mind is mulling over relationships. Why are we loyal? And what do we do to earn another's loyalty? And what brings us to love a stranger? And why should we do kind acts for people we hardly know? And what compels someone to choose to say something horrible about a person they barely know? Or even say something awful about someone they know well?

My parents came for a short visit this week while on a cross-country road trip. While they were here we got together with my mother's extended family. Many of the family members there had never met before, or hadn't seen each other in 15-20 years. And yet, in spite of barely knowing each other, we had a wonderful time. All because we were family. We welcomed each other in immediately, and all left with a larger and loving family. We even sang happy birthday and enjoyed cake for a cousin most of us had never met before.
Why? Is a common gene pool and shared blood enough reason to just open your heart and accept others? Even if you have never met before?

A tiny portion of my family. 
A few days ago a person I have a professional relationship with made a mistake that unfortunately penalized and restricted me briefly. But before I even found out about the mistake the person had gone to great personal trouble to get the problem fixed, when the truth is, it probably could have waited. But he chose to do it because he felt bad and wanted to make sure I was okay.Why would someone who is essentially a stranger go to such trouble to help?

In the same day someone else made a mistake that penalized me. He has yet to apologize or even attempt to fix it. In fact, he questioned me as to why the penalty was even a problem. Why didn't he feel compelled to want to make things right?

And then...
My former employer sent me an absolutely nasty threatening letter. As if not paying her employees isn't enough, and causing all of us to lose our jobs, she sent me a threatening letter. Most of her letter just made me laugh. It was full of lies and total stupidity. But the biggest joke of them all, was her accusation that ALL of my former co-workers are stabbing me in the back, and have provided her with "documentation" about how difficult I was to work with. And that is really what has me thinking about friendships and loyalty. Her claim is completely false. The one good thing to come out of the absolute disaster that was that company was the great friendships and loyalties that were formed. How many jobs have you left where you really kept up your office friendships later? But have you ever stayed friends with nearly every co-worker? In our case, 5 of the 7 main employees continue to be good friends and speak on a regular basis. In fact, we have each other's backs. We have liberally and generously provided each other with job referrals and references. We ask each other for professional advice. We are all friends on Facebook, our blogs, Twitter, and more. Barely a day goes by where I don't talk to at least one of them. It is interesting to me that my former employer probably never even considered that we would be loyal to each other, or even continue our friendships beyond the walls of her company. Why doesn't she feel compelled to pay her employees? Why doesn't she expect us to all be friends and loyal to each other?
So why do we do it?
Why are we loyal to some people and not to others? Why do we accept some people, while other people choose to reject everyone around them? Why are some people always willing to go the extra mile or do the unexpected thing just because? While others never even consider how their actions can hurt or penalize another person?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Happy Dance Time

Okay, my apologies to those of you who would rather puke than hear or see this dance. But given I was just at the concert over the weekend, where I did the "New Kids Dance," I thought this was the most appropriate "happy dance" I could post right now.

Also, this quick little video from Scrubs seemed entirely too appropriate for my internal thought process right now.

You know, I really do hope things progress to the point soon where I can actually share what all this happy dance stuff is about!

Got 2 Seconds? Then Vote!

I submitted Due West in the Music Showcase. Now their video needs votes! So click HERE and VOTE!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Top Signs It Is Going to be a Very Rough Day

First, you wake up to find your visiting parents' car has been broken into, with several items stolen. (This does nothing to convince your parents you live in a perfectly safe and nice neighborhood, I might add.)

Second, you specifically argue with someone in another country at work that they had better not, under any circumstances, log in to your secured account, because if they do, the system will detect it, flag it, and most likely shut your account down. The co-worker does it anyway. And all the work you have done for the last 4 weeks will be lost. ALL OF IT.

Third, while the hearing in your right ear has mostly returned after the concert on Saturday night, and your voice is trying hard to recover, you cannot deny the unbearable sore throat.

Fourth, because of the shut down account problem, it is probably best to not log in to Facebook for the rest of the day, in case your IP is flagged. A whole day without Facebook? Torture.

There was a funny conversation though this morning-

Mom: So you mean the police are not coming out to look it? And insurance isn't either?

Me: no.

Mom: Hmph!

Me: Would it make you feel better if I took a picture of it and put it on my blog?

Mom: Yes!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

My inner 15 yr old hasn't been this happy in about 18 years

My inner 13-15 year old self got to come out and play today in a way I never thought she would get to again. Between shopping, boys, choir practice, cheering my guts out at a soccer game, a New Kids on the Block concert, and a wretched zit on my cheek, I'm Teenage Me all over again.
First, the soccer game. So sad. The first lost for my beloved Real Salt Lake (RSL) all season. They will have to kick some serious trash next week in NY in order to win the division championships and go to the national finals game. Little and I had a great time, but it was very sad to lose!
The second the game was over, I joined up with Misty Hudson (who is an old Shenandoah Ward friend from way back when back home), and drove as fast as humanly possible to the other side of the valley for the New Kids concert!!
Here we are 2 seconds after running into the stadium. We're both wearing RSL colors and clothes! We got to the concert late, but we didn't care. We knew we would be late, but all that mattered is that we got there, right?? The crazy part was first getting the absolute best parking spot ever at an arena. And then when we got to the door, the ticket girl said, "Oh, you are eligible for an upgrade!" And moved us up into killer seats!! We were in row 17, right by the stage! I love it!

Me and Misty

The concert was mostly the old school stuff, and we only heard 2 of the new songs. Both the new songs were fantastic. But really, I was just there for the old stuff! They did a couple of solo songs with just one guy on stage at a time. But here we have all of them singing "I'll Be Loving You Forever." With Jordan on the jumbotron.

One of the best highlights of the concert was probably when Donnie held up a t-shirt someone had thrown to him that said, "I Love Mormon Girls." He made some jokes about he does love Mormon Girls and Utah, blah blah blah. But I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only girl in that arena who was watching a fantasy come to life when he said that.

Also, it must be said that of the dozens of concerts I have been to in my life, this one was by and far the most gracious to its fans that I have ever seen. This show was all about making the fans happy. All the way down to Jon wiggling his butt for the camera, Donnie holding up the shirt, etc. There was no question that this band was thanking its fans 20 years later for giving them the lives that they have had. It really made the concert that much more fun. It was all very gratuitous.

When I found out yesterday that I'd be going to the concert the very next night I ran to Rhapsody and downloaded all of my favorite old songs, and tried to listen to the new stuff too. (I liked a lot of it too!) My favorite old songs were "Didn't I Blow Your Mind This Time," "Hangin' Tough," "The Right Stuff," "Cover Girl," and "Step by Step." Oh and the very little known, except to the die hard fans, "Popsicle" and "Funky Funky Christmas." I sang each of these songs to my cat last night. He wasn't as impressed as I was that not only did I remember every word to every song, but I still remembered exactly where to change the lyrics to fit my name in! The picture above is the "oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh hanging tough" arm swing. And the picture below is what I look like in a self portrait trying to do the same thing.

My hair did not hold up so well after 2 hours at a soccer game screaming in the wind, and then dancing like crazy at the concert!
All in all, one of the funniest and most enjoyable nights I've had in YEARS!!! I have nearly NO voice left, and my hearing is pretty good and shot. I'm not sure how well I'm going to do at our big choir practice tomorrow night!
It's 4 am, and I'm wired. But I will be trying to go to bed shortly. Teenage Me is fighting going to bed for all she is worth. She wants to stay up, watch a movie, and call some more friends. But since I have called my sister multiple times tonight already, singing/screaching songs at the top of my lungs to her, I think I'll just call it a night instead!

Friday, November 14, 2008

The One Where My Cousin Meets a Cute Boy, Or Not

Yesterday one of my "BYU cousins" called me to chat and told me the craziest story. To protect the innocent, we'll call this cousin, "Atlanta." (In other words, all my other cousins now know who I am talking about, and you don't.)
The background- Atlanta is a very attractive and cute senior at BYU. Whether or not she sees it, men fall all over themselves to get her attention. So the story I am about to tell you could go 2 ways- either the man involved was completely sincere, or he was trying REALLY hard to get the cute girl to talk to him.
Disclaimer- she was laughing really hard, and I'm sketchy on details. I may be remembering certain unimportant parts wrong.
So Atlanta was on campus yesterday and a Marine approached her. I believe (insert the disclaimer part here) the hot young Marine was even in uniform. He explained that he's not a BYU student, but he's taking a class in psychology and was surveying people. He then proceeded to ask her a jillion random questions. Things like, "what's your favorite color? choose between options a and b." etc. Nothing incredibly interesting or informative about a personality if you ask me or her. And no matter what she answered, he was enthralled by her reply, and said strangely flattering things like, "That's so interesting!"
At one point he asked her to close her eyes and envision something while she answered. She said she cooperated but was worried about her wallet getting stolen while she did. She takes after me in the "never trust a man who's trying this hard" personality category.
So after spending quite a bit of time flattering her and questioning her, he asks for her phone number, in case he needs to ask follow up questions. And in what legitimately sounded like a total blow off, she explained she had lost her phone and didn't know if she was going to be able to find it. (She really had lost her phone, but found it last night, which is how she was able to call me.) So she gave him an email address instead. He even teased her that she was blowing him off. She teased him right back. She's an excellent flirt, I might add.
Throughout the 'interview' he claimed that her answers were just SO interesting because they were different from all the other girls. And Atlanta is just SO interesting...
So we started to wonder if this guy was for real. Because, come on. It's the BYU campus! Crazier stunts have been known to happen to get a girl's attention!  But then, much to our surprise, he did email her today with more completely oddball questions. So we had some fun with it, and she's writing him back tonight. I wish I could remember exactly what tonight's questions were because they were totally strange. Strange because they were so simple, not because they were deep and perplexing.
So with her permission, I turn this over to the blogosphere. Is the cute Marine in uniform she met on campus, but isn't a student there, but yet claims to be taking a psych class, who interviewed her very randomly really sincere and just surveying her? Or is this yet another very elaborate ruse to get a cute girl's attention? And what would you ask or say to him (via email) to smoke him out?

And for those tracking these things, I did not see the Cute Blushing Boy today, in spite of the fact that I did attempt to stalk him momentarily. But when I quickly realized that I could not do so without possibly creating a scene like Monday's, I chose not to.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Happy Birthday, Steph!

In honor of Steph's birthday I went out to lunch with Jules and enjoyed a piece of strawberry rhubarb pie. It was discussed how rhubarb is a lot like red celery, but tastes considerably better when melted down and put in a pie. I thought it was a conversation appropriate for Steph's birthday. I'm pretty sure we've had stranger conversations. One conversation that sticks out in my mind involves discussing how the bloom had gone off the chocolate. But that's for another day.
The expression on my face is a mixture of "oh crap, take the picture faster" as the pie suddenly slid rapidly down the plate, and "I'm so happy it's the second anniversary of Steph's 29th birthday!"

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The open letter has been removed

Why did I remove the open letter to a certain person?
Because it worked.

Virtual Stephanie Birthday Celebration

(Click on the picture to enlarge and read the text, or just read it below)

Wondering what is behind the towel? It's Steph's 31st Birthday Suit! Something we all can't wait to see and celebrate! But with Steph off hibernating in Montana, and her friends spread all around the world, we can't all be there to celebrate with her. So instead we are inviting you to join us for a Virtual Stephanie Birthday Celebration on Thursday, November 12. So go out and enjoy your favorite meal in celebration of Steph. Take a picture of yourself celebrating Steph and send it to her, blog it, or Facebook it. Birthday suits are optional. Have a Happy Stephanie Day!

How did I not see that coming??

Somehow I didn't see it coming that I'm about to be really busy for the next 10 days. I don't think being aware of it would have made it in easier either.

To do list (so that it's in a place I can't argue with it or lose it)

1. Finish decorating apartment (even though I've lived here 9 months) before parents arrive on Sunday.
2. Clean the parts that don't have to be decorated before parents arrive on Sunday.
3. Make dinner reservations for large family gathering on Monday.
4. Get the freaking "kitten" neutered.
5. Start and finish Christmas shopping for sister's family.
6. Plan trip to sister's house for Thanksgiving.
7. Figure out where I call home for Christmas and buy tickets there.
8. Three choir practices.
9. Real Salt Lake Playoffs game Saturday (with Little).
10. Work my usual 40 hour/week job.
11. At least 3 loads of laundry.
12. Get new battery in car.
13. Possibly fix windshield in car as well.
14. Pay all of my bills.
15. Get new car insurance.
16. Launch new campaign for favorite country band.
17. Create new sales campaign for favorite adult contemporary artist.
18. Continue attempting to send a court summons to the evil previous employer who so far has dodged 5 summons.
19. Visit with my parents for 3 days.
20. Go to post office to mail bills. Try to schedule this for the day after I pay all of the bills.
21. Await a big check, when it arrives, make time to to go the bank.
22. Make sure direct deposit goes through this time and doesn't throw off half of the things above if it doesn't!
23. Clean out car before Saturday.
24. Get the wireless card on my laptop fixed. Preferably on an evening where I won't need it after work.

I think that is everything major I have to accomplish.
Oh, and go to the gym every day!
And buy groceries.
And make up a decent menu.

Okay, now I think that is everything.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Let's Mock Boys (because I feel like it)

As far as I conscientiously know, my desire to mock the stupidity of men today has nothing to do with yesterday's little experience. Then again, maybe this is more like a public service announcement, and less total mockery. Funny how the 2 things go together sometimes.

Today I found the following profile online.

Some of my favorite things to do...Watching movies
Walking in the park
Roller skating
Going on road trips
Visiting museums
Hanging out with my little brother

My least favorite things to do...Going to any froofy social event
Trying to think of something witty to put in my profile :)

At what point was I supposed to be impressed with this guy? And who wants to bet that "visiting museums" used to say, "play video games" until someone told him that there was nothing in there that could possibly attract or interest a woman. Because men in their 30's who skateboard and roller skate... okay, I have nothing to follow that up with. Because men in their 30's should not still be listing skateboarding and roller skating unless they want to attract 13 year old girls! 

Monday, November 10, 2008

My Love Life, or Lack Thereof

Warning: I'm about to expose myself on this blog way more than I normally want to. But hey, maybe a little exposure is what I need. And I've come to the strange realization that I have a semi-cult following that reads my blog just for the incriminating and embarrassing stories, as well as the failed adventures in romance I have from time to time. Well, I hope today doesn't disappoint.
*edited version*
I've mentioned the Cute Blushing Boy a few times lately, and now I will share the story of the relationship (like most I have) that will never happen. At least as much of the story as I can risk telling. I'm still worried and have perfectly good reason to believe that one of these days he will do some research on me and possibly find my blog. If he doesn't research me, I'll actually be a little disappointed. Do I need to be embarrassed by the upcoming store? Probably. But he was there, so he knows I've already been through the torture once.
Here's the facts. I frequent his place of business. He is a manager there, and I am something of a problem customer. I'm trying for all I am worth, working with him to no longer be a problem. It has only been because of his incredible customer service and willingness to go the extra mile in helping me that I continue to do business there. Otherwise, being the "please don't make me confront anyone ever" personality that I am, especially when I'm the one who looks really stupid, I would have just suffered the consequences and run away and let things get worse. But because he's been so easy to work with, well, I'm still a customer, and I'm writing this post.
My friends (and you know who you are Juli, Steph, Heidi, Natalie, etc) are tired of hearing about the random and cute exchanges between me and this guy. Lots of talk, no action. But given the oddity of our professional relationship, I have been in no rush whatsoever to do something about that. Somehow over the course of the weekend I let various friends convince me I should ask him out. I have the perfect place to ask him to go. I was really unsure if I should do it, but I somehow convinced myself this afternoon I would. I'm still questioning how that happened.
So it is Monday, and as usual on Mondays, I have Little with me. And as usual, I had to go in to fix things at his place of business. I had it all thought out conveniently in my head. I knew I'd have to talk to him alone for a few minutes, as usual. Until today this has always happened semi-privately in his office. And we always shoot the breeze and flirt for a few minutes. It was going to be so easy to bring up the topic of where I was going, especially with Little there, and then just invite him. It should have been so easy!
But no, it wasn't.
Instead, things just went from professional to awkward to please-get-me-the-hell-out-of-here. For instance, the first employee that was helping me erred on the side of not being discreet. And instead inadvertently embarrassed me by loudly sharing some personal information about me. I could have lived without that.
Next, she knew I needed to talk to him, and instead of getting him, she got the assistant manager to come over. Now, I like the asst manager. She's been nice and helpful. But she has an unnaturally loud voice. And from 30 feet away I hear her say, "Oh, I can help (insert my full legal name) and her daughter."
Um, NOT MY DAUGHTER! Which Little felt the need to reply back- loudly- "She's not my mom! She's my Little Sister!" (Because we always joke that she's the Big, and I'm the Little.)
And now I've caused a tiny scene. There are people waiting in line and all they know my full legal name and the personal information that has been shared loudly, and that I have a confusing relationship with an 11 year old girl who is wearing her pajamas in public.
So the loud assistant manager attempts to handle my business for me. But she needs Cute Blushing Boy's approval. But he's busy. I know how long it takes for my situation to get cleared, so I'm more than willing to step out of line and let other customers be helped. But no, she insists I stay. And loudly she tells him I'm there and waiting, etc, etc. The first truly awkward moment (the other moments were just semi-awkward) was that for the first time ever he didn't acknowledge that I was there. No wave, no smile, no nod, nothing. Very strange for a guy who usually blushes and smiles just when I wave when I walk in the door. (I choose to very reasonably believe he was working on something important and was ignoring the loud girl.)

So I wait and wait and wait. He finally comes over to take care of my problems. He's his usual charming self. We chat, we banter, he flirts with Little. And the original employee, and the asst manager are right there. RIGHT THERE. As in 2 feet away. Oh and there's several customers now in line 1 foot behind me. So roughly 10 people in 10 square feet of space are suddenly the audience to my big chance to ask him out. (So in other words, we're not alone in his office where I can conveniently have a simple personal conversation and ask him out like I had planned.)
The bigger problem? Little and I had discussed in the car how maybe we should invite him to go do this thing with us. And she was all for it. So when she starts to see that I'm not talking to him about the fun thing we're going to do, she does. Let's give the Kid an A for effort. But an F for not realizing wrong time and place.
So suddenly she's saying very random things about what we want to go do. He's trying to get away, because the original employee needs to get back to working, and my usual case of OMEFO (open mouth, everything falls out) has kicked in.
I know I said some stupid things. Thankfully I have no idea what they were. And then he handed me candy and touched my hand. And more stupid things fell out of my mouth, not just cause he touched me, but because I realized then that he was blushing again. I do know I said something about how he didn't need to give me candy because I let Little steal some already and put it in my purse. And then Little said, "It's not stealing. It was just borrowing without asking first. But we're not giving it back." Maybe not the best thing to say in a place of commerce.
There were a few more awkward moments as he attempted to be professional and flirt at the same time, and make sure I was okay with business, and see when I would be back again. I attempted to be really pleasant and nice and not act like my own face was burning up. (It's burning again right now just typing this.) And finally we left.
We're not outside 2 seconds when Little says, "You are SO funny around boys! You get all dreamy and act stupid! You're funny! I can't wait till we come back next week."
As if THAT wasn't enough to make sure I'll never go back again, let alone take her in there with me again, I am dumb enough to ask what exactly I did.
She then proceeds to act my side of things out in the parking lot, in the pouring rain, in her pajamas. "Oh Cute Blushing Boy, you are so NICE and HANDSOME to HELP little old me EVERY TIME something goes WRONG! You are SO GOOD to ME!" (insert 11 year old girl swooning voice and motions on every all caps words)
And then she says, "But its okay. He likes you too. He tries too hard to be nice." Which of course leads her to acting out his side as well. (someone should be questioning my judgment for letting the girl who was already sick, and out in public in pajamas, stand in the rain to act this out) It went something like this- I think-
"Oh ERIN, how can I HELP YOU today? Do you need MY HELP? Here, LET ME RESCUE YOU!"
I admit, I laughed a little as she did her best deep male swooning voice in the parking lot.
But if a kid thinks I/we acted like that, what did the adults think???
So no, I did not ask him out today. And no, I have (thankfully strangely) no reason to have to go back in and be a problem customer for at least another 5-7 days. Did you really think I was going to be able to ask him out with an audience of 10 people surrounding me, while what was a quiet business exchange suddenly turned into a loud 3 ring circus?
No. You didn't.
And if I seem a little incoherent, the picture below was taken as I typed this. It's not easy to type with a "kitten" determined to snuggle on you. (See how my cheeks are all rosy and blushing still! I'm not making this up.)

Did I mention I got a new job? Cause, yeah, I did.

I could be wrong, but I don't think I really officially announced that I got a job. I could always look a little harder through my past few weeks of postings, but I'm too lazy.
So yeah, I have a job. I'd rather not have my blog show up in our daily google alerts and other internet searches, so if you really want to know what I'm doing and where, you can click here for my Linked In profile.
I am happy to have a job, and very grateful to be earning a paycheck again!!!!
Just because I have a paycheck doesn't mean I'm rich overnight, but it is nice to be getting my finances back in order. Especially with Christmas right around the corner!
So this new job has me working from home, but on East Coast hours. Which means I have to "be at work" at 7 am - 3 or 4 pm. Do you know how nearly impossible it is to wake up and be functioning in your own apartment at 7 am? NOT EASY. The hardest part for me is the lack of social interaction. No co-workers to talk to or eat lunch with, no one to brainstorm with, etc. It's just me and the kitten, and occasionally Regis and Kelly in the mornings. I make quick trips to the corner store to get a Diet Coke, and a few times a week I run to the mall food court for lunch. I'll do just about anything for social interaction and/or distractions. This includes nearly daily trips to the bank, post office, and library, where I've actually learned the employees' names!
This should answer some of the "why the happy dance" questions. Some of them have been for when I was offered the job, received a paycheck, etc. I don't know when I'll be revealing the sources of the other happy dances. But now you know- I have a job! I'm making money! Yeah!
And I have to be up and "at work" in less than 7 hours. Ugh!

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Saturday is a special day, until we get ready for Sunday

If  the above title line makes no sense to you, you either aren't LDS, don't read my other website, or both. If you are LDS, and like to laugh, you really should go over and check out our site. We've got some funny stuff, and a new layout over there.
Normally I do my blog postings at the end of a day, in a recap format. But today it is almost 11 am, I'm still in bed, (however, I did treat myself to a breakfast smoothie in bed), and well, chances of this day becoming productive are decreasing rapidly. So I am writing a blog post of all the stuff I could and should get up and do today in hopes that you'll send me little comments through out the day and get me motivated.
Things I could and should do-
  1. clean this *effing* apartment (i normally mock the use of effing as a word, even when i use it, but today i am using it a lot in my head)- being the home of a work-from-home slob, and the world's busiest kitten, means this place is a disaster right now. As usual the kitten has pulled all manner of random objects into the living room, and shredded anything he can find to shred. If it doesn't get cleaned in here today, it won't get cleaned tomorrow when I sleep in till noon, go to church at 1, nap and eat after church, and then choir at 6:30. And then I work on Monday, and then pick up Little. And I like having it clean before she comes over, because we without question will trash my kitchen with our baking projects. And then it will take, oh, 5-6 days for me to clean it up again. I really need to clean today.
  2. Laundry- Like all American households, there's always more laundry I could be doing
  3. Buy paint- Little wants to know why I have a half painted hideous broken bookcase in the living room. The truth? Because I got halfway into my creative renovation phase and got tired of it. She really wants me to let her paint and finish it for me this week. And who am I to deny an 11 yr old of such fun?
  4. Get a new battery in my car- because apparently you do that sort of thing in these cars every 5 years. 
  5. Go to the gym- it's the last 3 days on my free month long membership. Not knowing what I may be doing in the next 60 days (ooh, look, the cat tried to jump out of the bag again), is keeping me from making the gym manager a happy man and caving and paying for a membership. So I really ought to use it while I still have it.
  6. Go to Ogden to see Mike perform at Wiseguys comedy club. OR go to Lumpy's in SLC and watch the REAL Salt Lake game. This is a nearly impossible decision. 
Now for the reasons I may not do any of the above-
  1. Cleaning requires all that effort and discipline stuff, and not getting distracted. All things I find impossible on a Saturday.
  2. Laundry can always be put off one more day.
  3. Buying paint requires going to Home Depot. Going to Home Depot means taking a shower and getting dressed first (b/c I am not like all those gross men who think that Saturdays and Home Depot are the exception to good hygiene.) But if I take a shower and get dressed that will keep me from going to the gym, because I am too lazy to desire to shower twice. So I have to go to the gym first, then Home Depot. 
  4. Spending money- here's the thing. I like shopping. I really do. But I have this mental block about spending money on objects more than $60. I can't explain it. But in my head if it costs that much I have to budget it and make sure it is the right thing to do. And as someone who was just very poor for the last several months, I'm still in money hoarding stage, and unsure I want to spend "large" sums. 
  5. Going to the gym requires a level of self discipline I find very difficult to muster on Saturdays. 
  6. Normally going to see Mike on stage wins hands-down. He's a funny guy. But its in flipping Ogden. That's a long drive. And Real SL is in the playoffs. And major league soccer is shown on practically no tv channels around here (none that I get anyway). And Lumpys is a LOT closer than Ogden. And I really really want to see the game. This is an impossible choice.
  7. I'm lazy, or was that not made clear before.
  8. The world's clingiest neurotic cat (who, did I mention will now poop in the toilet?) is clingier than usual today. In fact, I'm attempting to type this with him laying across my arms. He spent the whole night forehead to forehead with me. I went to sleep on my side, as usual, with him determined to push his little head up against me. When I woke up, I had rolled over facing the other way, and he had climbed over me to be head to head with me on the other side. Every time I have attempted to put him down this morning he's cried and whined, and bit me. I may have to put him in the baby carrier and take him everywhere today. 
Is that enough excuses?
Tell me to get up and get out of this house and not spend my whole day on Facebook and Twitter! Help me get motivated!!!

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Hate on 8, or how I unfortunately spent my day

Today was a very rough and emotional day. It all started with Twitter. (For those of you not yet on Twitter, really, you should be. It's so much more interesting and fun than blogging.) At some point in the morning I got a 'tweet' about the No on Prop 8/anti-Mormon rally today in L.A. At first the way this tweet was written was specifically anti-Mormon. It wasn't about civil liberties, or the CA state constitution, or even about love and marriage. It was flat out a threat against Mormons.
Not once have I made a public comment, whether on my blog or on Twitter, about Prop 8. In fact, I have very conflicting feelings about it, and have steered far away from any conversations on the subject. The bottom line is that I don't live in California, and therefore, don't feel that I should exert any influence over another state's vote. I know many people disagree in different ways over that position. I don't really care.
So you can only imagine how shocked I was when I personally started receiving threats today all because my Twitter account has me identified as Mormon. I was told to go to hell in more ways than I can count.
Here's what I don't understand. How is this not the most hypocritical move of the last decade? The gays are showing outrage and anger because they disagree with someone else's opinion? And threatening violence against them? Does anyone else see the complete hypocrisy in this?
California voted 52% in favor of Prop 8. And apparently some people just can't take that. Only in Los Angeles can a majority be so fully ignored, while the feelings of the minority can so fully dwarf public opinion.
Today I felt a wide range of emotions from hatred to denial to fear to complete sadness. Mostly there was a feeling of utter sadness that our country has come so far, and yet, again a religion was being persecuted and threatened for simply having a different way of thinking. It confuses and hurts me that it is somehow okay to have "liberal" and "open minded" opinions that defy traditions and the majority, but to choose to preserve your own values, and be religious qualifies you to receive public hatred.
If the Mormons today had marched through downtown LA (and who are we kidding, there's a lot more Mormons than there are gays, we just blend in better) and protested a gay lifestyle today, the ramifications would have been endless. There would have been riots. We would have been called bigots and worse. We would not be given spots on every prime time channel. The bloggers would not be supporting us.
One of the "threats" I received today said, "You have 2 wives, I just want 1 husband." First, not only is this horribly ill-informed and wrong, but stupid. I couldn't help but reply, "You and me both, sweetheart." Needless to say, he didn't write me back.
I still have no opinion on Prop 8, other than, the people have spoken, now deal with it. The people also voted for Obama, and I have to deal with it. We're even. Now move on.
And for crying out loud, if you want to be taken seriously, and want people to believe that its about love, and civil liberties, stop threatening violence against people who have a different opinion from you.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The View From My Balcony Today (Utah - The Greatest Snow on Earth)

The view from my window at 7 am. About 1 inch of Utah's greatest import.
And now at 2 pm, about 6 inches of Utah's greatest import.
But that's just here in Murray. Juli and Heidi (who respectively live 30 minutes from me in opposite directions) have no snow. 
Go figure.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Moving on

I'm not here to discuss politics. What's done is done. So moving on...

On my Bucket List there are a great variety of activities I'd like to accomplish. One of them is "Sing the Hallelujah Chorus in the Salt Lake Tabernacle." To the non-musical folks out there, this life goal may not mean much. But to those of us who grew up singing in choirs, learning our "solfeg," practicing scales, and perfecting Hayden, Mozart, Handel, Beethoven, and the like, getting to sing one of the most beautiful songs in history in one of the most historic concert halls in the world, this goal is up there.

Oh, and did I mention I get to check this one off my Bucket List on Nov 29? And you can be there, and it won't cost you a thing?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am singing with the Sterling Singers and the Salt Lake Symphonic Chorus, with the Utah National Guard Army Band, in the Salt Lake Tabernacle in the Christmas kick-off concert for Temple Square. The concert is free and open to the public, but you must reserve your tickets in advance, because the free show will sell-out.

Our program includes several beautiful pieces, both traditional and non-traditional. But the best part will undoubtedly be the Messiah Hallelujah Chorus. I can't wait!!!

So if you would like to be there on Friday, November 29, at the Salt Lake Tabernacle on Temple Square, to see me cross this one off the Bucket List,  CLICK THIS LINK.

Oh yes, let's!

As it is Monday, I had Little hanging out with me for the afternoon and evening. We always have a great time together, and today was no exception. So before I get to the point of my post, I just want to throw this out there- volunteering for Big Brothers, Big Sisters has been one of the best experiences of my life. If you have just a few hours a month to give to a child, you really should consider it. Especially the men! There is a huge shortage of Big Brothers! Today I was talking to Little's real brother, who has been on the waiting list for a Big for a very long time now. He said, "It's okay, I'm used to disappointment." Men, you know you want an excuse to hang out with a teenage boy on the couch and play video games for 3 hours a month.
So back to me.
Today I had to run a few quick errands with Little before we could get home and have fun. One of those errands involved us having to see the cute boy that blushes. (I really need to come up with a good blog moniker for him.) As usual, it was a mostly professional exchange, as we were at his place of employment, and I am a customer. As we talked (me and him, not me, Little, and him) his face was bright red the whole time. It was so cute. And he did something unprofessional, and very cute as well. And then he returned to his office. Little turns to me and says, "He's cute. You like him don't you?" I shot her a dirty look and she says, "It's okay, he likes you too." I continued to give her the "QUIET CHILD!" look. And she shoved a big piece of candy in her mouth and said, "I'll be quiet now!"
When we got outside she says, "If you don't like him, you should. He likes you. I can tell."
There is really no question as to why I adore that kid.
Now, how to get a very professional relationship to cross the line to something personal as well, while not jeopardizing the professional situation.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Nephews at Halloween

Tell: I'm such a good little soldier. Just like my Uncle Scotty. I can be a big brother and stand at attention all day.
Porter: If I refuse to cooperate with this inane picture taking we can get on to the candy. Hurry it up, Mom!

Dieting, weight loss, and exercise

For the last month I have been on an exercise only kick. I haven't really attempted to diet at all. But I have craved less greasy foods and a few more salads than usual, so that is a good thing. (except for my never ending craving for Carl's Jr. Guacamole Bacon Six Dollar Burger, which I ALWAYS crave). I've been measuring myself rather than weighing myself. I did weigh myself twice at the gym over the last month, and found a whopping 3 lb weight loss. I'll probably put it right back on with my next Guac Burger.
But tonight I am happy. Why? Because the tape measure doesn't lie! I've been measuring almost weekly (sometimes i miss a week and have to wait for sunday again) my bust, under bust, arm, waist, hips,butt, and thighs. And while my hips, bust, and waist only went down half an inch each, my arms went down 2 inches (each), and my butt is down 2 inches in circumference. And my thighs?? 3 inches each baby! And inexplicably, my under bust area shrunk 2 inches several weeks ago, and has since then gone back up an inch.
I am thrilled about my arms and thighs. I can personally see the difference in my arms already. I'd be happier about the thighs and butt if there wasn't so much more left to go!
Now for the downside to all of this.
My last three trips to the gym have had some problems. My routine is do the weight machines (20-50 reps on about 10 different machines) for about 30 minutes, followed by 20 minutes on the cross trainer, and 10-15 minutes on the bike. I'd give up the bike and stay on the cross trainer, but that's where my problem comes in. As most fancy running machines have nowadays, this one tracks your heart rate while in use. I've always had a slightly higher heart rate than most (something well documented after taking an EMT class where we were constantly taking each other's blood pressures and pulses), so I expect my heart rate while at full cardio pace to be around 140, even though when I'm at my optimal health it is lowered to about 120 while running. But my last 3 trips I have had trouble getting my pulse down to 160! Within five minutes on the crosstrainer or even on the bikes my heart rate spikes really high (180-190) and I can't get it down. I try going easier, drinking more water, breathing deeper, etc. But nothing works. And if I try and keep going, I feel really light headed and sick, and that feeling won't go away for hours.
So I did the obvious thing, and changed up my work out by doing cardio first. Same dumb problem! No matter when I do my cardio, first or last, and no matter how easy I am taking it, my heart rate is out of control! It is so aggravating! I should be getting healthier by working out 4-6 times a week and eating better. But I'm not!
If I had health insurance right now I would go to a doctor for advice. But I don't. So instead, blog world, I am turning to you for input. Anyone else have similar problems?  I don't think this is anything big. I've had similar problems in the past, and diet seemed to control them. But this time diet doesn't seem to do the trick.
But YEAH! Let's hear it for not having swinging old lady arms anymore! And if I keep this up, I may be the size I want to be next summer. (ha!)

Sunday, November 02, 2008


I made an interesting discovery tonight. The column Jules and I used to write for Meridian Magazine is suddenly back online. It was gone for quite sometime, but tonight while googling myself (yes, I admit I did it), I found we're back again. I got to reading through some of our old columns and got a good laugh out of us. But then I came across this one- OMEFO and I realized how incredibly pathetic I really am. Because, oh yes, I had a very bad outbreak of OMEFO just last week. (OMEFO stands for "open mouth, everything falls out")  I had been talking to a very cute and helpful boy, and suddenly started not only inventing new words, but I also twisted and inverted words in a whole new way. I don't know if he could tell or not. I was talking really fast and it is entirely possible that he didn't comprehend a word I said. I think it is okay though, because the next time I saw him, I winked at him from a fairly good (at least 15 ft) distance, and he blushed. So he must not think I am a complete idiot. Oh, and then I saw him again, and he gave me candy. And how can you not like a boy that gives you candy??
But here's the thing. I have to see him again this week at least once. And probably just the once (as compared to the last 3 weeks where I have run into him nearly daily). It's pretty much a guarantee that I'm going to say something stupid. I can feel it coming. Is there anyway to train myself in advance to not say something stupid when I can't control the situation if and when I see him?
Did I mention he's cute?

Keeping it REAL!!!

Another Saturday, another win for Real SL. I have been to a lot of major league sporting events in my life- hockey, baseball, football, basketball, and now soccer. And I have never before been to such a nail-biter of a game. The RSL scored at 89 minutes 33 seconds (if I caught the clock fast enough) into the game today. For those who don't know, soccer matches are 90 minutes. So yeah, they got the only score of the match with not even 30 seconds left on the clock. It was insane craziness in the stands. I LOVED IT. I had "Little" with me as well. I took her back to her mother tonight with a hoarse voice from all the screaming. I am currently trying to think up ways to go to their next match in Los Angeles on the fan bus. (I can't take Little, since I am not allowed to take her out of state. And my "shyness" (also known as large group anxiety) just won't let me go alone.) Who knew I could love a sport and a team this much?! Oh, and I'm also trying to figure out how to budget buying me and Little season tickets for 2009. I talked to her about it today, and not surprisingly, she is all for it. But before I go running off and spending that kind of cash, we have to make sure I'm going to live in Utah for most of 2009.
Oops, did I just let half a cat out of the bag? My bad.

Check out my soccer fan girl blog- Footballer Fan Girl!

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