This time last year I was entering into what I hope was the most stressful period of my life (in other words, I hope life never again gets as rough as it was last year). I was not-so-kindly told to go find a new job, and anxiously job hunting, dealing with the sudden and unexpected onset of 30 kidney stones, finding myself facing holiday depression, and then just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I was given three weeks to find a place and move, when I could barely walk from the bedroom to the bathroom. And then there was the Lortab dependency, miserable and worst Utah winter in years, and a car accident to boot.
Yeah, last year kind of sucked. Big time.
As a result, I'm entering into the holiday season by walking on egg shells. I'm nervous about a repeat. Every time I feel the tiniest twinge or pain in my side or back I fear going through 30 more kidney stones without health insurance. I have a new job, which is giving me freedoms I have wanted all my life, but needless to say, after 4 jobs in one year, I'm a bit paranoid when it comes to job stability. Things by no means are perfect right now, but at least my new stresses are good "maturing" problems.
There are major decisions ahead of me. And unfortunately they are choices I have to make right now during the holidays when there's too many other things to be contemplating. But they are good decisions. Ones I want to make. It would help considerably if I knew how to answer them without stressing over them.
Some of the things on my plate-
1. Buy or rent?
2. My job allows me the freedom to live wherever I want. Where is that exactly?
3. Foster parenting. (Only works if I stay in Utah.)
4. Go home for Christmas to a place that isn't my home? Or spend the $600 for a ticket on something more useful?
There's more, but that's enough for now.
And then there's just those other thoughts that keep creeping into my head. Thoughts like...
1. Is there any point to dating after 30?
2. Are there any normal men after 30??
3. Does becoming a single foster mother pretty much kill off all dating?
4. Am I ever going to lose weight?
5. Are there too many pictures hanging in my apartment? (I'm pretty sure the answer is yes.)
I need a magic 8 ball.
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