I must admit I am enjoying the lovely 50+ degree weather here in Southern Virginia this week. After years as a child of hoping and praying for a White Christmas, and never having my wish come true, and then moving to Utah where we get our fill of snow and then some, I have to say, I am perfectly happy with a very evergreen Christmas.
Christmas is always a personally introspective time. I'm torn right now between writing the travelogue of a post you might expect, full of meals and gifts, or writing what is really on my mind- which is how hard it is to be single during the holidays.
I'm going with single and the holidays, because I know there are a few of you out there who feel the same and probably need to hear that you/we aren't alone.
First of all, I want to go on the record as saying I love my family, both immediate and extended. We all fit in with our families in our own special way. And nothing I am about to say has anything to do with whether or not they accept me and love me. I know that they do. And I know that never has anyone ever tried to make me feel the ways I am about to describe.
But its tough being single on major family holidays, isn't it? I think Liz Lemon said it best on 30 Rock a few weeks ago, "When your mother kindly explains that they thought by now you'd have your own family and traditions for Christmas, and they wouldn't still have to be including you in everything."
Being single on a family holiday means finding a place to sit in between the children, the adults younger than you who have their own children, the adults your own age who have their own children, and the adults who call you their children. Because that's what family holidays are all about, aren't they? The children!
Christmas morning loses a lot of its luster when there aren't little children anxious to see the tree and open presents. (We slept in till 10 this morning, and nobody had to be told to keep away from the tree until Mom could find a camera.)
I'm not saying holidays can't be enjoyable and full of love. In fact, you realize even more as an adult how much of a sacrifice you are willing to make to be with the ones you love and participate in your family traditions. Especially when you are in a place in life where you aren't getting to start traditions of your own that you always thought someday you would do.
This year while I've felt no depression or anxiety over the holidays, I've been more acutely aware how so many people might. I'm happy and ready to move on to my next phase in life. I'm anxious to make some of my biggest goals and dreams a reality. In fact, the longer I sit here in Virginia, with my hands tied as to the future, the more I want to just get back to Utah and get on with it, DANG IT!
So single friends, I'm thinking of you right now. I hope you are happy. I hope you are finding what works for you this year. And I hope more than anything, you never let the lack of a man in your life hold you back from getting what you want.
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