Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Using My Skills For Good and Evil

Sometimes I feel like I should explain something to the world. And that is simply that I'm really good at cyber-stalking and manipulating social media tools. In fact, I'm so good at cyber-stalking and social media that I've now officially made a career out of it.
What does this mean?
It means that for the most part, with rare exception, I can find just about anything about anyone online. And I can use this knowledge for good or evil.
For instance, my blog has all sorts of invisible magic tools on it that tell me how much traffic I get in a day, where it is coming from, and even what link you followed to find it, or what operating system you are on. If you are curious, 90% of my readers are using Windows XP, and most of you use Firefox for the internet. Why does this matter? Well, it probably doesn't to you, but to a nerd like me, I can use this information for other things in the future.
Back to the links.
I can not only see what link you followed to get to my blog, for instance, Google Reader, Google Bookmarks, Bloglines, etc, I can even see what town you live in, who your ISP is, and how much time you spent on your most recent visit to my site.
My point?
There is a person out there who thinks he or she is anonymous and I don't know that they are my "hater." But this person is stupid enough to actually have me linked off of his or her own registered blog and bookmarking tool. And I know exactly who it is.
So seriously, grow up. If you are going to leave hateful or stupid comments anonymously on a blog, think it through. I'm a professional expert in social media tools. (And no, I don't think it is egotistical or arrogant to call myself an expert.) I know who you are. So just own up to it, and admit you hate me, and yet read my blog nearly every single day. I can't think of a more pathetic activity- hate someone, and then spend that much time reading their blog daily. When never, not once, have they been mentioned on this blog, because, hello, I barely even remember you.
Now, for other things.
Let's say I was quasi-stalking this cute boy. And I did happen to very very easily come across a goldmine of personal information on him. (Hey, its not my fault he's not smart enough to block that info online.) How much of this info am I allowed to use for personal gain? Info such as his birthday, address, college, graduation year, siblings' names, even his workout program (you'd be amazed how much info I can get on a person in less than 2 minutes). Obviously I won't be walking up to him and announcing exactly how much I have learned about him without his knowledge. But its okay if I use this information to help him start a conversation with me, right?
See people, I can use my skills for good or evil. And I try to be good, with just a little evil thrown in.


  1. 333. Only half evil.

    And it was me, I'm sorry. I'll never do it again. I'm just so jealous of your mad cyber-stalking skills.

  2. I take it as a compliment that most of my readers use Firefox.

    Can you find my last name, using your mad skillz? (It still floats around. And if you know what my last biz was, it's really easy. DM me if you find it.)

  3. hahahahahahaha that is hilarious... it must be a guy with backward social skills... he's in love with you but he hates you! ha!

  4. Anonymous2:00 PM

    First of all I am all for preformance art. I once saw an angry lesbian naked reading her man hating poetry about how we were all dogs and women simply food to us. While she read to us several friends off stage threw meat and squirted her with sticky sweet liquid and slowly released more and more dogs until you could no longer see her sitting reading her poetry. Not the best but I dont suggest naked not in the clime that you are. To answer your other question no, no we havent met to the best of my knowledge. It is possible that we might have as we were both in NOVA during the same time but I dont think we ever crossed paths.
    Just a suggestion since he wont take the the first step. He has an office at his work, cut to the chase move to the second date bypass the awkward first date, pretend it happend take lunch into him and act like you and he eat together all the time, be a brassy dame. He likely isnt takeing the first step because the flirting is about all he can "hope" for and even that he probably feels he is misinterpting. If he asks and you say no it is a body blow to a probalby fragile ego if he asks(and this is more likely in the community you are in) and you hesitate before saying yes he reads it as you are doing your LDS duty and that you dont want to do it and again a blow to the ego. So instead he enjoys what he gets thinking that he probably is misreading it anyway. I say cut to the chase; dont ask him out if you dont want to but start dating him.

    some strange bitter lurking guy

  5. oh my you have that problem too? I had a "friend" who left nasty comments and even snail mail mailed from different locations (way too much time of her hands) and my gut told me it was her...and voila when I signed up for analytics...there was the evidence. Sad.

  6. LOL - only cool people have stalkers!!

    You've got skilz girl!

  7. Can you use your talents for MY evil purposes?!? Pretty please?!

  8. I haven't had that problem LOL :o)

  9. Janae- anything for you!


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