Tuesday, September 15, 2009

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

It has been several weeks since the last time I heard from the foster care licensing people. I've had it on my daily to do list to call them and find out what's going on for a while now. But since I have no idea who I should be calling (remember how my last communication with them was being told that i mailed my forms to the wrong person when i put all of them in the self addressed envelope they provide?), I haven't called them yet. But today they called me! Yeah! I was thrilled for about 2 seconds to hear that someone actually was looking at my file!
And yet then the following conversation took place-
Her: I'm working with the Virginia agency that is doing your out of state background check.
Me: Okay, good!
Her: Your file has been sent back to us for review because some sections were left blank.
WTF??? Not possible. No freaking way did I leave a section blank. Trust me. It was a notarized form. I know I didn't leave it blank.
Me: Wha??
Her: You didn't fill out your spouse's name, birthdate, or other background information.
Me (outloud, for real): Are you freaking kidding me?
Her (totally serious): Yes, unfortunately, you did leave those blank and we need that information to continue.
Me (incredulous doesn't begin to describe it): Oh my hell!! I'm SINGLE!!!!!
Her (laughing): Oh! That makes so much more sense! Of course you left it blank then!
Me: Why is that so hard for people to understand?
Her: Oh, well, you should have written in 'not applicable' so that we'd understand.
Me: No offense, but I have no doubt in my mind that if I had written in 'not applicable' you would be calling me right now to insist that it is applicable and mandatory.
Her (again laughing): So true. These forms really are ridiculous sometimes. I figured you were probably single, but they insisted I call to make sure. Virginia wouldn't proceed without every blank filled in.
At which point I told her about my last phone call from them where they requested documentation or proof that I am single. She laughed.
Her: Well, for what it is worth, I can see here from your paperwork that you are a good person. I'm sure you'll find a good man someday.
Me: {grrr....}

(in case anyone wonders why I don't support government run healthcare, see the above story again. you really want these people deciding what kind of medical procedures you can get?)


  1. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! OMG that is so funny and sad in a sick way.

  2. It sounds like you are closer to being a foster parent. Good luck!

  3. I know that was frustrating for you-- but you made ME laugh:) That conversation was hilarious!! I loved your responses that you gave her!

  4. Anonymous8:43 PM

    Tell her in your most bitter voice that you meet good men all the time but unfortunately they are married, retired, or below the age of 12.

  5. Did you really just say WTF? Sorry, as a cousin, I get to be your mother from time to time. That's a crazy hilare conv tho!

  6. In the Language of Erin "WTF" is What the FREAK!?!
    (if you haven't noticed, I really like the word freak)


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