Saturday, October 31, 2009


Nothing in this world has scared me like the mini-series and TV show "V" did when I was a little girl. I can still vividly remember watching the aliens pull their skin off to reveal their lizardness, and how it made my own skin crawl.
I remember watching the green circle growing around the pregnant woman's neck, marking the length of her pregnancy. I was terrified about what would happen when the circle was complete. Just thinking about it now makes me shudder.
And the only recurring nightmare I have ever had in my life involves people eating hamsters and mice, and then watching an alien baby crawl out of its mother's stomach.


And as you may have noticed I'm rather obsessed with all things 80s.

And Morena Baccarin, who ROCKED in Firefly/Serenity is the star of the new remake.  (I totally have a girl crush on her, and I wish I could rock her hairstyle the way she does.)

So you can probably guess what my DVR is set for on Tuesday night! I can't think of a better show for a remake and update. I'm hoping I love this one as much as 8 year old me loathed the old one.

But what I really want to know is what old 80s show you think should be remade or brought back??

Friday, October 30, 2009

New York, New York

If you had 4 weeknights (think after 6 pm) free to yourself in NYC, how would you spend them? I'll be back in the Big Apple next week and I'm looking for ideas to keep myself entertained in the evenings. So far my list is pretty short-

1. Magnolia Bakery at 30 Rock
2. Shop at H&M, Macy's, Ann Taylor, and all the other shops in the Garment District
3. Eat pizza, and then eat more pizza.
4. Eat more gelato.

I love Broadway shows, but its pretty much out of the budget this trip, so don't tempt me! Oh, and I'll be staying in Times Square, if location makes a difference.

Don't Forget the Pepper Spray

In just a few more weeks a fun, entertaining, and unique book all about dating disasters will be coming out! And I'm one of the contributors! Don't Forget the Pepper Spray is a collection of true, honest, and real-life dating stories that will leave you laughing with your jaw hanging open. And the best part? Its anonymous. Sure, you know I'm a contributor, but you don't get to know which parts I contributed! HA! I LOVE IT!

To go along with this awesome new book there will be a great website with bloggers, columnists, and much more- all about dating!

Lots of fun changes up ahead! Stay tuned!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tooting my own horn

In a day that was frustrating, aggravating, and filled with eyeball burning and vomit inducing doggy farts (I am never changing their food again), I shall take a quick break from the usual and direct your attentions to something I'm actually good at- social media and engagement marketing!

I wrote a blog post for the Social Media Club of Salt Lake City this week on SMEM. It probably won't mean much to most of you, but if you are interested in what it is I do all day, here you go.

Life in Progress

I know many of you have been wondering what's going on with the foster care situation. This post is for you. The rest of you can feel free to help me decide what to do next as well.

After waiting months and months to get my home study and personal interview set up, it was finally arranged for next week. And now I have a business trip next week and won't be here for it. Hopefully today we will get the date moved to something in the next 2-3 weeks.

I've heard both good and bad things about the home inspection. All the bad things I have heard from other families who have had to go through one. You have to have everything super clean and organized, locks put on certain doors and cabinets, etc. I need to buy a fire extinguisher still, and get a lock for the closet inside my laundry room where I store the "dangerous chemicals," like bleach. And I need to buy a tackle box that I can lock and keep in there to store medications in. All of this can obviously be done in a busy Saturday afternoon (and will all be done most likely this upcoming Saturday). The social workers I have talked to have all said that it isn't the home inspection I should worry about. They just want to make sure my house isn't falling apart, there's a bed, and nothing obviously harmful about the situation. They have told me it is the 3-4 hour interview that should be more stressful (and not something you can really prepare for)!

Now, for my dilemma. Hopefully without going into too much detail...

My 22 year old brother lives with me. And he lives and acts the way your typical 22 year old bachelor lives and acts. Some people may feel uncomfortable with a possibly sexually active teenage girl in the house with a 22 year old man. For the record, because he is a family member the state has no problem with him. He just has to pass a criminal background check and we're all good.

When he moved in, the idea was that he would be here off and on all summer, and be deployed for several months in November. His deployment has now been postponed till April. And who knows how long he will be gone? 1 week? 1 year? We don't know.

So suddenly I am now faced with the prospect of having him here with a teenage girl. Or asking him to move out? Or postponing foster care another 5-6 months?

You know how long I have been wanting to do this. You know how hard I have had to work to even get to this point. I really don't know what to do.

I have no idea what I'm going to do. For now, I'm proceeding with my home study and interview. I'm also proceeding with getting my brother's background check done, just in case I choose to have him and a child here together.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Erin Goes on a Date (and tells you about it)

I went on a blind date last week. By all counts, I'd say we had a good time. We got along really well, and there were no obviously awkward moments. We texted some over the weekend, nothing big. And then he called.

Oops, he had forgotten to tell me a major detail about his recent past. He's divorced (by no means a dealbreaker for me). And too recently divorced to feel comfortable dating again. His exact words, I believe, were, "I think you are really great, and I'd just screw it up, so I'd rather not do this."

Gag. Whatever.

Here's the thing. This is the FOURTH guy in a row to give me this excuse. Guy #1 actually had lied to me and wasn't even divorced yet. Guy #2 was divorced but clearly not over his ex, and ended up remarrying her. And Guy #3 just explained the same thing and disappeared (no loss there). And the funny part is that when I think back to the guys I have dated in the past 5 years, the bulk of them were newly divorced and shouldn't have been dating yet.

Who knew I have a type? Apparently I attract recently divorced men with no potential! Go figure!

As one of my girlfriends put it last night, I need to start adding, "Are you divorced, and if so for how long? And how many dates have you actually been on since the divorce?" to my vetting process.  Or you know what would be nice? To meet a nice guy who isn't divorced!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Lunchables- Dave W

Welcome to Lunchables Week #2. This week you get to meet my new friend Dave.

Dave W

Current location: Salt Lake City
Occupation: Online marketing
Lunchables location: Eva's Cafe, Salt Lake City
How I Know Him: We are both volunteers with the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, and the related organization, Big Alliance. We met about two months ago at a Big Alliance event.

David is great at speaking in quotable one-liners, so instead of writing up about what he said, I'm giving you exactly how he said it when possible!

1. Favorite Past Time-
"Being around people in various capacities. It isn't so much the activity itself, as it is the experience. And experiencing different activities."
Also, "solo time." I asked him to define solo time, since I have learned it means different things to different people. His definition, "Solo time is something you could have done with someone else but do alone instead." He claims he has more solo time than the average person. I say, he hasn't seen how much solo time I have!

2. What are you passionate about?
"I'm not good enough at anything to be ultra passionate about anything."
But then he changed his answer and said that he's passionate about experiencing different things with different people. Which is ironic considering he thinks he spends more time than most people doing things alone.

3. What is your favorite memory?
I love asking people this question. You never know what you are going to get. Mostly what I love about asking it is the wistful or happy look they get on their faces. Dave didn't disappoint. His response was hiking Aconcagua (tallest mountain in the western hemisphere) with his father just after graduating from college. Specifically he cited the freedom of having graduated and having no cares, plus that amazing sense of accomplishment you get when you've summitted.

4. What defines you?
This answer didn't surprise me at all. David is a "Big Brother" through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, and has been with his "little" for 4 years. What he says defines him isn't so much doing things for the public appreciation, or the words of thanks you receive for volunteering. Its more doing it for the self-appreciation. Knowing for yourself that you are doing it for the well-being of someone else, and not doing it for yourself at all.
His next answer to this same question? 80's movies. And seriously, I think he may be the first person I have met in a very long time that can give me a run for my money in knowing 80's movie trivia and quotes.  Oh and my favorite thing about Dave? We both cite "The Right Stuff" as our first favorite movie.

5. What 5 words define your dating life?
Random, dramatic, surprising, antiquated, and "not awe inspiring." "Its like that Talking Heads song where they say, "how did I get here?" You're looking across the table at this girl and thinking WTF? What am I doing here? How did I get here?"

At which point in the interview Dave decided to channel his inner-John Cusack and start answering me in nothing but movie quotes, primarily John Cusack quotes. Considering he reminds me quite a bit of John Cusack, I found this amusing.

6. Why aren't you married yet?
Way too picky. "I'm still looking for a dare to be great situation."

7. How many types of cheese can you name in 1 minute?
Swiss, Mozzarella, Gouda, Parmesan, Romana, Gruyere, Feta, Cheddar, Cream, Cottage, and Brie

What I Want You to Know About Dave
This is a tricky one. Having only known him a short while, I don't know that much about him. I learned a lot  while interviewing him. I was really surprised to discover how much he and I have in common. I had expected us to be more opposite than similar in many respects. I don't know why, I just did. There were several answers he provided that I would have answered the same for myself. Particularly regarding "self-appreciation," doing things with other people just for the sake of being with them, and not so much about the activity itself. In my own observations of him, I have noticed something he didn't mention. He's very giving, kind, and helpful. And I have yet to hear him complain about one thing. He isn't afraid to jump right in and ask tactful yet personal questions. I'd have to say what you should know about him is that the more you get to know him, you find there is more and more to respect about him and the way he thinks and acts. And he really likes to ask, "Why?" And he says "aggressive" a lot.

Now, this is just for Dave. What is the name of Chuck Yeager's plane that broke the sound barrier? No googling.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

HCG Before and After Weight Loss Pictures

Well, this round of HCG has finally come to an end. You can read about my first experience with the HCG diet here. And here you can learn more about the HCG diet from the company I bought from and recommend.

Now for the moment of truth.

You have seen my before pictures-
(I hate this picture now!)

How it looked after I lost the first 20 lbs!

And how it looks after losing another 18!
(how nice of my dog to try and butt in to 2 of the pictures. I guess that's what happens when I spend too much time by the front door and don't let her out!)

Because I did put about 4 lbs on between rounds and things haven't really settled down yet (it takes a few days back on normal foods to know where you are going to land), I've only lost about 30-35 lbs. I can live with that! I lost a total of NINE INCHES off around my waist! I love it!

I am donating my old clothes to both Janae and Juli who are both on the HCG diet as well (36 lbs off for Janae, and 20 for Juli so far!). I am currently down to exactly 3 t-shirts, 2 sweaters, 1 old coat, 1 party dress, and 1 pair of jeans that fit. Not one other thing in my closet fits me without being obviously a size or two too big! Thankfully I'm headed to my fashion mothership next week and plan to buy several new outfits. Until then, don't be surprised if you see me holding up my pants funny.

I am still 18 lbs away from my high school weight. I am currently exactly what I weighed 10 years ago when i got diagnosed with a thyroid condition and slowly but surely started gaining weight. Not one diet ever has ever made me lose more than 8 lbs. I have always been able to lose 8 lbs just to put it all back on in one cheeseburger dinner. (Not joking!) This is the first diet I have ever successfully completed where I have lost the weight and kept it off. In the interest of full disclosure, I was also given the "all-cured" on my thyroid condition last April. For the first time in ten years, my thyroid is fully functioning and normal. I think because of that my body was finally able to lose weight. And knowing my body and my shortcomings, this diet was the only way that would happen.

So now I enter into the next phase. Essentially it is what I call the "no-white" diet. No white foods- no sugar, no flour, no rice, no potatoes. I'll do that for as long as possible (which may not last long since I'll be in NYC in a week). As of right now I plan to go back on the diet just after Christmas. (load days over christmas should be perfect!) If I can lose another 15-20 lbs then, I will be down to my high school and pre-thyroid condition weight. And that, my friends, would be amazing!

One funny sidenote to mention- today I was a substitute teacher in Primary/Sunday School for 7 year olds. We were in the middle of discussing the all important Halloween costumes when one of the little girls looks right at my tummy and says, "Are you having a baby in there?" I said "No, but thanks for asking." (in a very sarcastic tone that the kid totally missed). The other teacher standing nearby looked me over and said, "I don't know why she asked that, you really don't look it." Thank goodness!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Become a Big Brother or Big Sister!

You have often heard me tell stories about how much fun I have out with my Little Sister (aka Little) from the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. Today I want to take a few minutes to tell you more about the program and hope that I can convince just a few of you to become "Bigs."

The program is different for every single Big. Because no two kids are the same, no two Bigs are the same. First thing to know, adults are called Bigs, and our kids are called Littles. No need to specify that you are a "Big Sister" or you have a "Little Sister." Your gender explains it all. So we just say "Big."

This is a volunteer program that only asks four hours a month of you. (If you are like me and choose to spend closer to 4 hours a week with your kid, that's just fine, and totally up to you!) You are "matched" by the Big Brothers Big Sisters professional staff based on all sorts of criteria. They want to make sure both you and your kid are getting the best possible experience. I can say that my Little and I are perfectly matched. We get along wonderfully. Her mother and I joke around frequently that Little may look just like her mother, but in many ways, she is become a little me. (Yikes!)

You get to pick, with your Little, how you will spend your time together, where, when, etc. My Little and I prefer Monday afternoons and every Real Salt Lake home game. Every "match" is different, and that is the beauty of it! You get to do what it is you two like to do!

One of the most remarkable and enjoyable parts of being a Big is the unfiltered love and adoration your Little grows to have for you. I live for the hugs and sweet little comments my kiddo gives me. And most of the time she has no idea she has said anything that has melted my heart. Recently she told me something that was actually fairly trivial, but it showed character that she chose not to do it. She told me, "I thought how I wouldn't be able to tell you about it, so I didn't do it." Can I just tell you I nearly cried right there in the car? I had to just smile and tell her I was proud of her. But really, I wanted to jump for joy and cry at the same time. (To her mother who will be reading this- honestly, I have no idea what it even was now. It was that trivial! It may have been not doing all of her homework, but really, that doesn't sound like her does it?)

Big Brothers Big Sisters is ALWAYS looking for more Bigs. (they are also always taking in more kiddos!) If you are interested in becoming a Big, research them at You might be surprised at what a difference you can make in a child's life.

If you aren't currently available to become a Big, consider making a donation, whether cash or clothing, to your local branch! Or if your business has tickets to local events, or any sort of contributions to activities that may be of interest to Bigs and Littles (ahem- Real Salt Lake tickets!), contact them!!

Also, for you young professionals out there, whether or not you are interested in becoming a Big, check out the Big Alliance. The Big A is dedicated to supporting BBBS in various capacities from fundraisers to activities or just networking. I'm a member of our local chapter, and I must say- its a lot of fun!

HCG Update

I only have a few days left on my second round of HCG. If I can exercise just a little more willpower, I just might make my goal! Since the beginning of August I have lost 35 lbs! With a little luck I will hit the unbelievable 40 lbs down mark this weekend. I will be at my lowest weight in over 10 years! Pictures to come soon! (I'm so happy and excited that I'm considering getting a real photographer to take some pictures of me, and not just my usual self-portraits!)

Monday, October 19, 2009

In the Blink of an Eye I'll Be There

A long long time ago, before I can remember... I used to be this girl that was so busy all the time that I stopped buying groceries because I realized I was never home and I was just wasting money on food that rotted. And then 2.5 years ago I moved to Utah and became the most boring person known to man? Yeah, fun times.

But then about a month ago I decided to bring back the real me and resurrected my old lifestyle. It started with my cousin-in-law Sarah and her baby, Finlee, coming for a short visit. They left on a Monday night, and I flew to Virginia on Tuesday. I was in VA for a full week, came home on Tuesday, and my sister and nephews drove in from Reno on Thursday. They introduced me to RockBand. I'm in love. They left today.

It has been a lot of fun, but oh my goodness am I tired!

Next up- 2 weeks at home (a very busy two weeks) before I go off to NYC for a full week. Followed by barely any time to get ready for my home inspection for foster care. A few days to recuperate, and then, tada, its Thanksgiving. And you know what happens when Thanksgiving hits, you wake up and its Christmas (and then my birthday, but since I'm in denial about the age I will be this year we're going to pretend I'm not having a birthday).

Can someone tell me how the heck I went from September to Christmas without taking a breath??

So what am I doing tonight (having worked 9 hours, played a few last times with the nephews, trained my sister on a new program, took Little out, and attended a Big Alliance meeting)? I'm doing what any normal girl would be doing at 10 pm. I'm watching "The Right Stuff" in my bed.  Favorite line of the night? "We ARE the monkey!" But sometimes its, "Request permission to relieve bladder." Its amazing how often I say that, and people have no idea I'm quoting an astronaut. 

Lunchables- Steph H

Welcome to the first installment of what I predict is going to be my favorite segment on this new and improved blog. I'm calling it Lunchables. This is where I get to take out interesting and fun singles and interview them for the blog. Why am I doing it? Because I can. And because I think the world is full of interesting and fascinating people, and I want more people to know about them.

Our first Lunchables candidate is Steph H. For some of you, she's going to look familiar. After all, we've been friends for several years now, and back when we lived in the same state, she was a regular fixture on this blog. But now that we live in different states, and I never get to see her anymore.

Steph H.

Current location: Montana
Occupation: 911 operator
Lunch date location: California Pizza Kitchen, Salt Lake City
How I Know Her: I honestly have no idea. One day she was just a name I had heard of, the next we were friends for life.

I asked Steph some pretty straightforward interview questions regarding being single and about herself. But since she and I knew each other pretty dang well, I thought I'd make it a little more interesting by also providing what I predicted her answers to be. Answers in red are mine, black are hers.

1. What is your favorite past-time?
Reading, probably.  I do the most of it. Or listening to music.  But I suppose that quantity doesn't always define enjoyment so maybe I can say 'photography' even though I do that far less.  Then there is kissing, I like that too.  Do you want, like, my top 10 but in no particular order?  Let's go with that.  1) Music, 2)Kissing, 3) Reading, 4) Photography, 5) Hiking, 6) Camping, 7)  Talking on the phone, 8) Eating at new restaurants, 9) Cooking for friends, 10) Hosting a perfect event.
She's going to say sex. I know it. If she doesn't, it will be something closely related to sex, maybe flirting, or just men in general.

2. What are you passionate about?
People.  Without question.  I love them!  As an organism, individually, in gender groups, in sub-cultures---they're just so interesting!! 

See #1.

3. Describe something that defines you. What truly makes you tick? 
Observation, I suppose.  It may seem ironic to those who know me as a social butterfly but even when I'm yammering on about nothing in particular, I'm watching.  From that observation I gain knowledge and, wow, is knowledge what gets me.  I chose my career (HR) initially based on the ability to know stuff about people no one else did.  I thrive on that.  It's not that I like to gossip, I don't.  I just like to hoard bits of information like the elves in that bank on Diagon Alley.

Ooh, this could be interesting. If I wanted to define Steph I'd say it is her fierce loyalty to her friends.

4. Describe your favorite memory.
Wow!  There are so many.   Favorite is so subjective--I have tons of categories and there's a top in each one.  I suppose that my current dearest memory is of my very first niece smiling and reaching for me for the first time.  That recognition and love is totally unbeatable!
I can honestly say I have no idea what her favorite memory will be.  

5. Give 5 words that define your dating life. 
Currently?  It's the word 'finally!'  Don't forget the exclamation point.  I've met a guy who, God willing, I think I'm on the road to a long, great relationship with.

Random, dramatic, trans-continental, wild, passionate.  

6. Why aren't you married yet? 
Well, for several reasons.  I think the chief reason is that I've never been totally in sync with another person I've dated.  By that I mean that one of us has always been pulling the relationship along in order to get it to progress.  When I was being pulled I resented the inability of my partner to listen to my messages saying I needed to slow down or wasn't as excited about the future.  When I was pulling I was totally incapable of hearing the 'I'm not ready's coming the other direction.  In fact, I was in a two year relationship where I was totally sure I would marry the guy.  When he kept saying, subtly, 'I'm not there yet' I just kept replying 'Ok.  I'm sure you'll get here.  Hurry up!'.  Terrible!  But true! I think that women need to be aware, especially in the thrall of a new relationship or the 'perfect guy', of reality. Is he progressing with you? Is he ready to move along?  Does he treat you like you'd really expect him to do so?  And if those things aren't there, it's time to reevaluate.  Hopefully I've learned that lesson and can be in step with my future partners.

I predict her answer to be something along the lines of, "Its not because I don't want to be, dammit!" Or possibly how it would be impossible for a man to pin her down.

What I want you to know about Steph-
This is probably my favorite part about getting to write these little segments. What do I want you to know about Steph? Probably that I've never met a more fiercely loyal and loving and independent person before in my life. When my life hit the crapper a few years ago, she was the only friend to stand by me. I haven't forgotten that.
I always hate the little "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" cliche. I'm more of a believer that when life gives you lemons, you need to learn to eat lemons and like it. And I think Steph is a lot like me in that respect. She has pulled herself up by the bootstraps and gotten herself through a very rough spot over the past two years. She's got moxie. She's got charisma. And the hands down most random and funny thing she has ever said to me was, "I love my kitten, but I swear his butt hole stinks!"

Lessons I Have Learned From Steph-
Sleep is optional. In fact, I'm typing this at 3:30 am late Saturday/early Sunday. And the crazy girl has just texted me to say she will be emailing me after she drives to Utah (from Montana) at 7 am (in less than 4 hours).
An opinion should never be wasted.
A good friend is a friend for life.
Never miss a chance to be there when someone needs you.

And now for my favorite picture of Steph.

For the life of me I don't remember what she was doing, or why I took this picture!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Sibling Singalong Fun

Let it be known, I love singalong bars. Ever since I stepped into my first one 7 years ago in Florida, I have been hooked. I have introduced many friends to the joys of the singalong bar, including my sister Natalie, who is also hooked. And last night we introduced our brother Scott and his girlfriend Ally. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

I had to spend a few dollars to make sure this happened, but getting my siblings up on stage to sing and dance to "Baby Got Back?" Totally worth it.


4 inch hot pink hooker heels FTW!

Ally rocks out to a little Bon Jovi (natalie texts)

3 of Scott's BFF's from high school were in town visiting. It was a bit surreal for me to realize that the boys I used to babysit were in a bar with me. 

And for all you confused parties out there- please notice there's nothing stronger than a Diet Coke on that table.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Little Words of Wisdom

Tonight this cute kid cuddled up to me during the RSL game. The man in the row in front of us had just had enough beers that he had gone from soccer novice to soccer know-it-all.
Little put her head on my shoulder and said, "Boys are such dorks sometimes."
I love that kid.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Highlights from the Trip

A few quick highlights from my trip to Virginia-

GREENERY!! Just getting to see the beautiful trees and countryside again made my whole trip worth it.

Going out riding with my sister on Streak. Steph took Streak, and I took out Harley (Streak's friend). 

Getting to see my high school best friend for the first time in 16 years. We reconnected and spent the day together like nothing had ever changed. 

Oh and this was what we had for dinner. Definitely one of the highlights!

Pictures of my awesome cousins to come tomorrow!

Friday, October 09, 2009

Things You'll Only Find in the South

This house has nothing to do with this post. Its just one of the many things I love and miss back home.

I love being back in the South. There are things you see you you'll never see anywhere else. And accents that just can't be beat. And I'm loving every minute of it.

Actual conversation overheard in a doctor's waiting room:

A man about my age walked in, checked in, looked around, suddenly lit up, walked across the room, and kneeled down next to a little old lady and said, "Ma'am you probably don't remember me, but I'm Tommy. I was in your fifth grade class."
She smiled at him and said she sure did remember him, and asked if he "had a real sweet wife and kids?" He stayed down on his knee, holding her hand, and showed her his wife and kids' pictures. He asked about her kids and husband and about her health. And then she asked him "Whatever happened to little Tony who you used to run around and play with?"
His answer was so southern I couldn't help but smile. "Well, ma'am, you'll be sad to know he got himself into some trouble. He's been married a few times, and has a few kids. And he's had trouble holding on to jobs. Its been a rough life for him."
Her answer was even more southern and sweet. "Well, is he a good daddy? Because the Good Lord will forgive you for getting mixed up with the wrong woman, but he won't forgive you for not being a good daddy. You just tell him I'll add him to my prayers. I pray for all my babies."
You just don't find that sort of thing outside of the South! I love it!

My baby sister, on a riding mower, with her pomeranian dog, wearing her riding boots. Another truly Southern sight to behold!

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

If this plane goes down, I'll die a happy girl

I'm starting to think all it takes to spur the foster care system into getting something done is to blog about it! I blogged last night, and this morning they called me! Go figure! That's how it worked last time too! Today we set up my home study and took care of one last piece of paperwork (yet another critical form that was never sent to me the first time and has been holding us up all along). And, drum roll please, can you believe we didn't have one confusing problem regarding my non-marital status! Yeah! I am so happy! My home study is in a few weeks, and assuming all goes well (and why wouldn't it?), I could have a kid by the end of the year!!!! FINALLY!!

Did I mention yet I'm blogging from terminal A3 in SLC? Because I am. Any second now I'll be boarding a flight back to my beloved Virginia. I'll be with my parents, cousins, baby sister, and old friends soon. I'm not sure which part I'm more excited about- riding Streak again, family time, or getting to see 2 of my very best friends from high school for the first time since we were 16!!!

AND! If that wasn't fun enough for you, today I got to have lunch with the one and only, original, and awesome Steph Harbour. Seriously, can this day get any better??

Also, there were other great developments today (and its only 3pm!), which I'm really looking forward to sharing with you soon. Stay tuned for some great stuff!

If Foster Parents Have a Nesting Phase, I Am In It!

Tonight my brain is on full foster parent mode. I'm wondering if and when I'll ever get a placement, what she'll be like, what kind of relationship we will have, and what kind of parent I will be. Living with my brother has taught me a lot about myself.

I'm a nag!

I didn't see this coming. I didn't realize I nag people. But, holy crap, I spend a LOT of time nagging my brother. (Granted, he deserves it, but still!) I just never thought I'd be a nag! I hate nags!

I am hereby setting a goal to by the patient and passive person I tell myself I can be, and to never nag again.

So I'm curious. This is for all my friends with children out there. Are you the type of parent you thought you would be?

Maybe I shouldn't admit this, but here goes nothing. I'm hoping to be more of a Lorelai Gilmore to my girl. Lorelai and Rory (from the Gilmore Girls) were more best friends than mother and daughter. And that is what I am hoping I will be able to forge with my girl when I get her.

I have another confession to make. With all the good news in the adoption world for my friends lately (Sara got her referral for a boy and a girl in Ethiopia! and Richard and Valerie are getting closer to bringing home THREE more physically impaired children from Bulgaria!), I can't help but think about how much I want to do an international adoption. I think about it ALL the time! It isn't the right thing for me to do right now. It won't happen for a few more years. But I can't help myself. I wonder which country would be best, which agency I trust, and how an international adoptee would do in a home with an unusual circumstance and single mother.

And then I come back down to earth and remember I still haven't had my first placement yet! Am I ready for her? Her bedroom is ready- its been ready! Am I ready to give my life to a girl I've never met before? What else do I need to have prepared a good home for her? I suppose if there is a nesting phase for foster parenting in my situation, I've entered it. What do you need for a teenage girl? We've got a Wii, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a DVD, DVR, cable, and internet. And I've been planning on adding a very cheap second phone line to my cell plan for her when the time comes. I wish I could just know more so that I could be going out and buying her clothes. I wish I could be buying her Christmas presents now. I wish this process didn't take so long.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Thoughts on Marriage by a Single Girl

Thoughts on marriage by a single girl? Should be completely pointless, right? Maybe. But maybe not.

While most thoughts of marriage for a woman over 30 are not necessarily all positive and hopeful, there are some reassuring thoughts of marriage at times. Some of what I know about marriage has come from watching my own parents, but really, that only taught me about that one marriage. Most of what I know about marriage has come from carefully watching my friends over the past ten years. There have been marriages I have admired. Many I felt sad for. Many I wondered what made them ever get married in the first place. And all I have learned from.

If there is one over-riding detail in all of the less than gloriously happy marriages, it has been that the wife has little to know independence or self-assurance. She has no idea how to take care of herself or be alone. And in a strange way, this is a reassuring thought to a single woman over 30. If there is anything I know, it is that I can take care of myself. I know myself. I know who I am, independent of all other people. And it is a hopeful and reassuring thought that I do not need a man to make me happy. I am happy. If I do ever marry it will only be because I have found someone who makes my life better for being in it. And not because I think he'll give me a good life.

I wonder how many people married their spouse because they thought he/she would give them a good life, or because they made their life better? There is a huge difference, and one I fear most people don't see. Or how many people stay in marriages because they have no idea how they would function alone?

I watch the less than stellar marriages and wonder if either party truly believes their life is better because their spouse is in it?

It is reassuring to know that I have a beautiful life. I am happy. I'm good. And I will never have a bad marriage. The only marriage I will ever have is one that improves my life and makes me happier.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

God Hears and Answers Prayers

If you ever doubt that God hears and answers prayers, go to Rebekah's page.

From their blog- a quick description of their family and blog-

This is a public diary of a family whose little girl started a battle with inoperable cancer in April 2005. In December 2007 their house burned down. And in August 2009 Mommy was diagnosed with a terminal disease (ALS.) Over several years of ups ad downs, you will get into their hearts, minds and souls as they share their joys and sorrows. It can sometimes be very difficult to read.

 Sidenote- Rebekah, now 7 years old I believe, is cancer-free now.

Take a minute to go read the Saturday, October 3 post. If you struggle with a knowledge of God, and wonder if He hears and answers prayers, this is the post you need to read.

Friday, October 02, 2009

She's Going the Distance!

It was only a few months ago that I looked this awful. Part of me wants to tell you that I only kind of looked that bad. It was late at night, I was bloated from a LOT of Indian food and traveling, and that shirt wasn't doing my any favors. And of course, I'm standing next to my stick thin baby sister, which is also not helping things at all.
It was this picture specifically that made me decide to lose weight. I hate the way I look in it.
As you already know, I went on the HCG diet during August and lost 20 lbs.
And now I look like this-

This picture is 20 lbs lighter than the one above it.

And as of today, I am back on the HCG diet, attempting to lose another 20 lbs. And here's a surprise. If I make my goal of 20 lbs, I will only weigh 15 lbs more than my baby sister! (and no, I don't plan to lose even more weight than that. i happen to like myself with curves, just as long as they are in the right places.)

Want to see what I looked like at my baby sister's age and weight?

Oh and that would be the baby sister in the punk rocker outfit. (Why do kids always want to be that for Halloween?) She's probably 6 or 7 years old. I'm roughly 20 or 21. And no, I wasn't in a costume. I just loved wearing that dress. Personally, I think I'm too skinny in this picture. Look at that wretched skinny leg! (and white tights under a red dress? what was i thinking?) And I'll tell you a little secret. I was so thin and flat-chested then that I occasionally wouldn't wear a bra on laundry days. A tight fitting tank top worked just fine for my 28A. So no, I don't want to get back down that skinny again. I'll keep the 20 lbs and a need for a good sturdy underwire.

So stick around, and in about 20 more days I'll show you what 20 less pounds looks like!

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