Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Erin Goes on a Date (and tells you about it)

I went on a blind date last week. By all counts, I'd say we had a good time. We got along really well, and there were no obviously awkward moments. We texted some over the weekend, nothing big. And then he called.

Oops, he had forgotten to tell me a major detail about his recent past. He's divorced (by no means a dealbreaker for me). And too recently divorced to feel comfortable dating again. His exact words, I believe, were, "I think you are really great, and I'd just screw it up, so I'd rather not do this."

Gag. Whatever.

Here's the thing. This is the FOURTH guy in a row to give me this excuse. Guy #1 actually had lied to me and wasn't even divorced yet. Guy #2 was divorced but clearly not over his ex, and ended up remarrying her. And Guy #3 just explained the same thing and disappeared (no loss there). And the funny part is that when I think back to the guys I have dated in the past 5 years, the bulk of them were newly divorced and shouldn't have been dating yet.

Who knew I have a type? Apparently I attract recently divorced men with no potential! Go figure!

As one of my girlfriends put it last night, I need to start adding, "Are you divorced, and if so for how long? And how many dates have you actually been on since the divorce?" to my vetting process.  Or you know what would be nice? To meet a nice guy who isn't divorced!


  1. Anonymous8:23 PM

    you did,(he bitterly laughed) Guy one.

  2. Wow. I'm not sure what to think about that guy!

    You're great... I don't want to screw it up... so I'll just quit now.

    Honey I think he just saved you some frustration because he must be a moron.

    the last divorced guy I dated had been married for 13 years and had three kids. After about a month he was ready for me to meet his kids.... then the next week he decided we should just be friends!!! WTH?!?!?

    My take was that he THINKS he knows what he wants because he knows what failed in his marriage, but because he's never really been single... he has no idea how to act or what to look for.
    Be wary of the divorced guys...
    I think you should date Dave W!

  3. No. That's his lame way of saying, "I'm not interested in you." Don't take it personally. Move on quickly and find someone who is into you.

  4. And, maybe, let the people who are setting you up know that you are not interested in dating the recently divorced. I find myself asking well-meaning friends for the height and age of the men they want me to go out with: I'm taller than they think and I'm older than I look, and I know it can be terribly awkward for a 5'7" 25-year-old man to be on a date with a 5'9" 34-year-old woman who routinely wears heels. I find that if I tell them how tall I am and how old I am, it saves me many an awkward date.

    It's frustrating, either way, to be willing and ready to date, and to not have it happen for one reason (excuse?) or another.


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