Tonight my brain is on full foster parent mode. I'm wondering if and when I'll ever get a placement, what she'll be like, what kind of relationship we will have, and what kind of parent I will be. Living with my brother has taught me a lot about myself.
I'm a nag!
I didn't see this coming. I didn't realize I nag people. But, holy crap, I spend a LOT of time nagging my brother. (Granted, he deserves it, but still!) I just never thought I'd be a nag! I hate nags!
I am hereby setting a goal to by the patient and passive person I tell myself I can be, and to never nag again.
So I'm curious. This is for all my friends with children out there. Are you the type of parent you thought you would be?
Maybe I shouldn't admit this, but here goes nothing. I'm hoping to be more of a Lorelai Gilmore to my girl. Lorelai and Rory (from the Gilmore Girls) were more best friends than mother and daughter. And that is what I am hoping I will be able to forge with my girl when I get her.
I have another confession to make. With all the good news in the adoption world for my friends lately (Sara got her referral for a boy and a girl in Ethiopia! and Richard and Valerie are getting closer to bringing home THREE more physically impaired children from Bulgaria!), I can't help but think about how much I want to do an international adoption. I think about it ALL the time! It isn't the right thing for me to do right now. It won't happen for a few more years. But I can't help myself. I wonder which country would be best, which agency I trust, and how an international adoptee would do in a home with an unusual circumstance and single mother.
And then I come back down to earth and remember I still haven't had my first placement yet! Am I ready for her? Her bedroom is ready- its been ready! Am I ready to give my life to a girl I've never met before? What else do I need to have prepared a good home for her? I suppose if there is a nesting phase for foster parenting in my situation, I've entered it. What do you need for a teenage girl? We've got a Wii, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a DVD, DVR, cable, and internet. And I've been planning on adding a very cheap second phone line to my cell plan for her when the time comes. I wish I could just know more so that I could be going out and buying her clothes. I wish I could be buying her Christmas presents now. I wish this process didn't take so long.