Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Life in Progress

I know many of you have been wondering what's going on with the foster care situation. This post is for you. The rest of you can feel free to help me decide what to do next as well.

After waiting months and months to get my home study and personal interview set up, it was finally arranged for next week. And now I have a business trip next week and won't be here for it. Hopefully today we will get the date moved to something in the next 2-3 weeks.

I've heard both good and bad things about the home inspection. All the bad things I have heard from other families who have had to go through one. You have to have everything super clean and organized, locks put on certain doors and cabinets, etc. I need to buy a fire extinguisher still, and get a lock for the closet inside my laundry room where I store the "dangerous chemicals," like bleach. And I need to buy a tackle box that I can lock and keep in there to store medications in. All of this can obviously be done in a busy Saturday afternoon (and will all be done most likely this upcoming Saturday). The social workers I have talked to have all said that it isn't the home inspection I should worry about. They just want to make sure my house isn't falling apart, there's a bed, and nothing obviously harmful about the situation. They have told me it is the 3-4 hour interview that should be more stressful (and not something you can really prepare for)!

Now, for my dilemma. Hopefully without going into too much detail...

My 22 year old brother lives with me. And he lives and acts the way your typical 22 year old bachelor lives and acts. Some people may feel uncomfortable with a possibly sexually active teenage girl in the house with a 22 year old man. For the record, because he is a family member the state has no problem with him. He just has to pass a criminal background check and we're all good.

When he moved in, the idea was that he would be here off and on all summer, and be deployed for several months in November. His deployment has now been postponed till April. And who knows how long he will be gone? 1 week? 1 year? We don't know.

So suddenly I am now faced with the prospect of having him here with a teenage girl. Or asking him to move out? Or postponing foster care another 5-6 months?

You know how long I have been wanting to do this. You know how hard I have had to work to even get to this point. I really don't know what to do.

I have no idea what I'm going to do. For now, I'm proceeding with my home study and interview. I'm also proceeding with getting my brother's background check done, just in case I choose to have him and a child here together.


  1. Anonymous9:40 PM

    keep things as simple as possible. I would say that my brother is preparing to deploy overseas and so he gave up his apt when the lease ran out. Until he is deployed which will happen in the near future he is staying with me. I understand that this is Utah and the lifestyle issues may be an issues but I would head the conversation off at the pass if it starts drifting that way by saying something like he doesnt do anything illegal, he doesnt have overnight guests, he is respectful of the house rules, he is not bitter about my requests concerning this. If they wonder about a 22 year old and a teen girl remind them that most child abuse is done by a parent or a close relative and if they are worried about all the husbands and other males that may inhabit a home.

  2. Ask yourself how badly do you really want a foster child. Your brother is an adult and really should be able to find his own apartment and should have his own job to be able to pay bills. I think I read that you can't be co-habitating in Utah if you intend to foster. I don't know if relatives count. Find that one out.

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