Thoughts on marriage by a single girl? Should be completely pointless, right? Maybe. But maybe not.
While most thoughts of marriage for a woman over 30 are not necessarily all positive and hopeful, there are some reassuring thoughts of marriage at times. Some of what I know about marriage has come from watching my own parents, but really, that only taught me about that one marriage. Most of what I know about marriage has come from carefully watching my friends over the past ten years. There have been marriages I have admired. Many I felt sad for. Many I wondered what made them ever get married in the first place. And all I have learned from.
If there is one over-riding detail in all of the less than gloriously happy marriages, it has been that the wife has little to know independence or self-assurance. She has no idea how to take care of herself or be alone. And in a strange way, this is a reassuring thought to a single woman over 30. If there is anything I know, it is that I can take care of myself. I know myself. I know who I am, independent of all other people. And it is a hopeful and reassuring thought that I do not need a man to make me happy. I am happy. If I do ever marry it will only be because I have found someone who makes my life better for being in it. And not because I think he'll give me a good life.
I wonder how many people married their spouse because they thought he/she would give them a good life, or because they made their life better? There is a huge difference, and one I fear most people don't see. Or how many people stay in marriages because they have no idea how they would function alone?
I watch the less than stellar marriages and wonder if either party truly believes their life is better because their spouse is in it?
It is reassuring to know that I have a beautiful life. I am happy. I'm good. And I will never have a bad marriage. The only marriage I will ever have is one that improves my life and makes me happier.
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