Sunday, November 29, 2009

Dream Blogging

Is it a cop out to blog about your dreams? Does anyone ever really want to hear about your weird dreams??
Well, captive audience, I'm doing it anyway.

Blame it on lots of cold medicines, 2 very heavy dogs sleeping on me, a late night phone call that set my brain off in an odd direction, a fever, and the cold sweats. I had one helluva dream last night. It isn't so much that I dreamed about flicking a particular person in the head over and over again, or that in the dream I was at a fundraiser for NASA where everyone had to pee into a vacuum and then the pee got recycled into a garden fountain, or that I dreamed multiple times in the dream that I was suffocating and woke myself up (and yet never actually woke up), that I had no problem expressing myself very rudely to a few annoying people, or that the majority of this took place in the Stratosphere in Vegas. The problem is that I dreamed that I killed somebody.

It is really disturbing to me that I would dream something like that! Has anyone else ever dreamed something like that?

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Reno 911 (or not)

In spite of a massive sore throat, throbbing sinus headache, sniffling, coughing, sneezing, and the rest of the Nyquil commercial, I'm enjoyed my trip to Reno, home of my sister, brother in law, and nephews.

Things we did in spite of my malady-
  • went on a Ferris wheel in the middle of a department store 
  • rode a mechanical bull (i lasted 9 whole seconds!) (in comparison, my sister lasted 23)
  • cleaned out Old Navy
  • cleaned out Michaels
  • cleaned out Ulta
  • and some other stores
  • worked (no, I did not get today off)
  • ate Thanksgiving dinner (truth be told, I was feeling miserable during dinner and barely touched it. However, as fate would have it, I felt better an hour later after a nap when dessert was served, and made up for not enjoying dinner.)
  • skyped my parents
  • cuddled the 12 adorable puppies (7 left! anyone want one? pictures of the cuteness below!)
  • consumed a lot of Alka Seltzer Cold, Benadryl, and Nyquil

Action shot of me falling off the bull in style

Can't tell what you are looking at? Natalie's butt in the air as she lands on her head.

Scott showed us all up and lasted 33 seconds. I still think the operator was taking it easy on him.

Look closely and you can see Ally's arm and head in the left corner of this picture.


Puppy kisses!

Friday, November 27, 2009


My abbreviated list of gratitude-

  • I have family within a day's drive

  • I am employed 
  • I have a home I love
  • cold medicine
  • my family
  • my friends who bail me out of trouble

  • the opportunity to expand my horizons frequently
  • I will soon be a foster mother!
  • the trials I thought would kill me that instead taught me so much more about happiness
  • the Gospel of Jesus Christ
  • the God-given right to Free Agency
  • My dog and 2 cats and their unconditional love
  • the opportunity to be involved in the community
  • My Little Sister
  • a sense of humor, even if everyone doesn't get it
  • that for the first time in my adult life, I have neighbors I really like
  • hope
  • Beatles RockBand
  • music
  • Diet Dr Pepper
  • my grandfather is still alive and made his goal to reach Thanksgiving
  • creative expression (even if it is lost on some people)

Happy Thanksgiving

Gotta keep up the annual tradition and post my favorite picture!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Not keeping count

I'm still not keeping count, but if I were the scoreboard would look like this-

Joe Fox (F-O-X) +3
No challengers.

Lunchables- Nicole H.

I apologize for the delay in Lunchables. The last few weeks have been crazy, and I haven't been free to go out and lunch with as many fascinating people as I would like to! But I'm sure you'll find this week's person just as much fun and interesting as I did!

Nicole H.

Current location: Salt Lake Valley
Hometown: Kemmerer, WY
Lunchables location: We actually had appetizers and dinner at Thaifoon.

This week I decided to do things a little differently. I can't let my interviewees expect to know what will happen! So this time I just had fun chatting with her, and then sent her an email and let her answer her own questions.

How I know her-
I met Nicole several years ago on LDS Linkup (a social networking site for LDS). Her screen name was BeatlesDiva, which was the first thing that caught my eye. I love the Beatles, how could that not catch my eye? Next, we always seemed to get involved in similar discussions online. And she didn't mind having a good argument. So an online friendship was struck up. After moving to Utah, I eventually met her at a social event somewhere. I've liked her ever since.

Some fun facts about Nicole-
She writes a pretty interesting blog, the Rants and Musings of Beatles Diva the Geek Girl
She also does some fun "vlogging" on YouTube (Which is video blogging for you n00bs.)
She's called the Beatles Diva because she's a huge Beatles trivia buff! And has won Beatles trivia contests!
At any given time she is working multiple jobs at crazy hours. For the moment however she is taking it easy and only working at the post office.
She loves to travel and goes on huge trips. For instance, spending a month in England this year. And has been to New Zealand and Australia this year as well!
Her beloved dog died not long ago and she's recently adopted two cute little puppies.

Now on to the "interview!"

Describe your perfect guy?
I’ve dated some many different types of men, I think I’m starting to “settle”, hence such the short list.
1. Must have a job, a vehicle and some sense of decision making. I’m sick of being the man in the relationships.
2. Must have minimal psychological disorders. I’ll take a guy who’s on one form of mental medication, but anymore than that, I don’t think I could honestly handle.
3. Has a nice smile. I have a thing for good oral hygiene.
4. I like a guy with a bit of competitive behavior in him. I love a challenge…most of the time.
5. Must love dogs. Yes…it’s cheesy but if he ever wants to fit in with me and my family, being a fan of dogs is a necessity.

Have you ever met a guy that was close to being your perfect guy?

I thought I did, but he turned out to be a con-artist.
I wish I was joking about this, but I’m not. This is the reason for #2 on my check-off list.

On a Friday night who would you rather spend your evening with- your cute little puppies or the last guy that asked you out?
The puppies. Give me a year and my answer may change, but for now I’ll take the puppy dog eyes to one set of bedroom eyes ;-)

You are an avid movie fan. Which movie character would you most like to go on a date with and why?

Oh man, that’s a tough one, but I’ll go with Johnny Depp’s character Sam from Benny & Joon. Sam always knew how to make light of every situation. With his crazy tricks and gimmicks, it would hard to stay sad or upset for long with him around. Plus, he did everything he could to keep the love of his life in his life, including breaking into the mental ward to see her. Now that’s love!

You are an incredible make up artist. Have you ever considered making a career out of it? (no, seriously, she's amazing. and i don't mean she puts on blue eye shadow perfectly. although, she probably could. she does amazing character make up! check out her rotten corpse halloween transformation here.)

I would love to, but I can’t afford to pack up and move to one of the schools that offer that as a study just yet. One day though, I hope to make that a dream come true.
Erin here- seriously! You are amazing. You can't waste that talent!

You are also a big reader. What book character do you most identify with and why?
The first one that comes to mind is Goldy Bear from the Culinary Mysteries by Diane Mott Davidson. She loves her family and loves to cook. Plus, she has a hard time keeping a good man around, but as long as she has a good mystery to keep her busy she moves on. I like to think of myself as determined and creative as she is.

In 5 words describe yourself!
Crazy, fun and yet responsible.

You aren't called the BeatlesDiva for nothing. You are well-known for your Beatles knowledge. What are your three favorite Beatles songs and why?
1. Tomorrow Never Knows – it’s just off the wall, with a crazy mixture of tunes and vibes. It always gets me out of a bad mood.
2. Little Child – This was the first Beatles song I remember hearing and led me into my addiction.
3. In My Life – Every time I hear this song, I just think of all the good times of being a kid and growing up…the good ol’ days!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Men, or the lack thereof

I'm rapidly losing interest in both Joe Fox and Harry. Joe was doing so well, but now? I don't know. Nothing really. He's made sounds about wanting to meet, but hasn't made actual moves. A few text messages are not enough to keep the interest alive, you know? He could definitely redeem himself with a little effort. But until then, I've fallen asleep waiting for him.  And Harry? He's gone into hiding or something. No nothing out of him for a while. He's done.
Time to erase the list and start all over. Anyone got a guy they can introduce me to?


Yesterday in Sunday School the topic of honesty was brought up. We discussed how lying or dishonesty has become almost romanticized in the media. I've been thinking about it ever since. I can't think of one TV show that isn't based around dishonesty.
For instance-
Tonight I watched the seemingly harmless "Sonny With a Chance" with Little. The premise? Tricking people and doing under-handed (yet funny) things to catch them telling the truth, since it is assumed they would only lie to protect themselves from being embarassed.
I also watched "Wizards of Waverly Place," "House" and "Castle." (I also watched "Lie to Me" but obviously that one is about lying.) Wizards- the whole point of the show was two of the siblings lying to the little brother in order to keep his tutor around. House- the premise of the show is consistently that patients lie to their doctors, and that House manipulates and lies to everyone. Castle is probably bad example since it is a cop show, but again, the premise is investigating dishonesty.
I've been thinking more and more about it. Is there one TV show out there that isn't about dishonesty? Every episode I have ever seen of the seemingly innocuous Hannah Montana is about Hannah/Miley not wanting to tell the truth about something. Grey's Anatomy? How many different "plot twists" are actually about dishonesty? The Chief is lying about his alcoholism. Chang never trusts anyone. McSteamy lies outright. Torres is hiding secrets from her family. Let's try a different show, something more middle of the road or main stream. The Office? It is almost always about someone not wanting to be honest with Michael about his stupidity, or Michael is trying to cover up a stupid choice he made.
Can you think of any shows that aren't based on dishonesty?
Bones- investigating crimes, therefore dishonesty
Heroes- everyone is lying to everyone else
Private Practice- everyone is lying, some of them more than others. And half of them are cheating in marriages or relationships.
30 Rock- almost every episode is about someone not wanting to tell the truth, or take responsibility for what they have done

Its a depressing thought. How can we expect children, or anyone for that matter, to live an honest life when everything around them celebrates dishonesty? Or when all of the music they hear celebrates immorality?

Monday, November 23, 2009

Beckerman v Beckham!

Real Salt Lake- thank you for an awesome season, and congratulations on winning the MLS Cup. I am proud to be a "Real" fan. And I hope to never witness a PK shootout ever again. That was a real nail-biter!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Public Service Announcement

Men, we (the female half of the human race) will never be impressed by your video game playing skills. We will also never be impressed by your video game playing smack talk.

Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

All you need is love!

This has been a week full of highs and lows. From two friends enduring the awful pain of losing a child, to the joy of celebrating that a barren couple were able to adopt, from job layoffs to marriages, and so much more, this week has been a roller coaster. I am so grateful for the online opportunities that allow me to be aware of my friends' situations so that I can celebrate and grieve with them. I honestly believe that being so much more aware of my friends has helped me to become a more sensitive and compassionate person. I have grown so much from having the opportunities to love and care about others more frequently. I have also truly been grateful for the support and comments from so many people as I have gone through this foster care process.
There are so many more things that now we get to know about our friends that before we would have probably only read in a Christmas letter, or learned about several years down the road. These huge life experiences for our friends used to be just points of interest, things to hear about them, but never experience with them. But now thanks to Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and more we get to experience life alongside our friends. Isn't it wonderful how much more we get to share and experience with our friends now? And how much more we get to love?

Not that I'm keeping score or anything

Current totals

Harry= -1 (yes, negative)
Joe Fox= 2.5

Not that any of this matters.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Drum Roll Please...

Here's what you came to know-

I passed the inspection and interview! In about 4 weeks I will get a form saying I am a licensed foster parent! And any day after that I am eligible to get a child. I will be requesting one particular girl. There is hope that she will be placed with me by Christmas! I am so excited at the thought of getting to provide Christmas for a child. But then, on the other hand, I'm a little scared at the thought of only having a few days to actually get it all pulled together if the placement comes at the last minute! Even if I am not able to get the girl I am requesting, there is a good chance of placement by Christmas. Sadly, many children enter foster care during the holidays due to conditions at home. So, just in case it all does come together, and I am a mom by Christmas, I'm going to go full out and decorate the house, buy a tree, etc. Here goes nothing!!

Also, I can't think of a better day or reason to bring back the happy dance tradition!! Enjoy!!

Who's Keeping Count?

Today I got some very kind and sweet attention from one of my two crushes.(He checked in to make sure all was going well before the big day tomorrow). No action from the other one. And it got me to thinking, maybe I'll start keeping score? Not that it means anything. I would never hold anyone to a completely silly score. But just for fun, I'm going to keep score.

We'll call the first guy, the friends zone guy, Harry (from "When Harry Met Sally"). We'll call the online guy Joe Fox, ("You've Got Mail"). Amusingly, I'm Meg Ryan in both situations! And there ain't nothing wrong with being Meg Ryan.

Harry- 0
Joe Fox- 1

18 hours and counting

You know that right about now I'm going to tell you that I'm a nervous wreck and I've worked my butt off to clean the house and make it perfect. Is it perfect? I have no idea. But its as good as it is going to get.
Thank you to all of you who have been supportive through this process. I can't believe it has taken an entire year just to get to this point. Let's just hope and pray tomorrow goes well. From what I understand the home inspection is just a small portion of the day. The bigger (and much scarier) part is the interview. Approximately three hours of a total stranger asking me very personal and invasive questions all designed to find out if I have abusive (emotional or physical) tendencies, what kind of parent I will be, or if I'm any good at relationships. Normally interviews don't scare me at all. But hours and hours of personally invasive questions? I'm not expecting it to be fun.
So be thinking happy thoughts, and send a few prayers my way tomorrow. And nobody call or text or send strippergrams after 3 pm please.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Bock, bock

Its only Tuesday and I'm exhausted! I am running in so many directions at once that I'm really starting to lose track of everything. But hopefully I can catch up and figure it all out, right?!

Tomorrow is the big cleaning day. I've got a pile of work to the ceiling, and as soon as "work" is over I change roles and put the finishing touches on my house. The big scary foster care interview in on Thursday and the house must be perfect!! Let's hope I don't feel like a chicken with my head cut off by then!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Let's Talk About Boys

I love talking about boys. If you know me, you knew that already. And since I'm taking Lortab tonight my filter is turned off and I feel like sharing!

I have 2 active crushes on 2 very different men this week. That hasn't happened in forever. 2 at once! One is a very sweet guy that I am friends with. When we first met he showed some interest, but no action. There was some flirting and after a few drinks one night he hit on me. Sadly, he's been sober ever since. We're most definitely in the "friends zone,"  but I like to think there's still a chance that could be stopped. I get the impression he's interested, but there's something holding him back. Maybe I just need to get him drunk again and take advantage of him?

The other guy is fairly new. You know I have to be on Lortab to admit that I met him on eHarmony. I don't know why I'm always so embarrassed to admit we met through online dating. But there it is. Who are we kidding? I work from home (so no co-workers), and I go to a family church (no singles). I never meet new people, let alone singles! The internet is my last and dying hope. And hell, I work in social media. I'm the only person alive who can honestly say they made a career out of figuring out how to talk to boys online. So anyway, back to the cute new guy. We've emailed, texted, and called, but we haven't yet met in person. He has lots of great qualities, and I'm looking forward to it. And did I mention he's just adorable to look at? Actually both guys are quite adorable. How's a girl to choose between adorable and adorable?

Clearly I'm not very good at dating and flirting. I'm 34 and very very single. And so very over it. But it really would be nice if a guy could show interest in me without the help of Jack Daniels, or the safety of indifference on the internet. Whatever happened to good old fashioned spotting a girl across the room, smiling at her, and asking her out? I can't even remember the last time I met a guy the good old fashioned way.


There was no lunchables segment today. Sorry. Life has been way too busy for the last 2 weeks for me to have the pleasure of finding a fabulous person to treat to lunch. But I did manage to find 2 people to take out for later this week, so we'll be back soon.

I did some more guest blogging on social media today. You can catch me over at the SMCSLC blog.

I have no idea what I did to my back or when I did it, but I've totally wrenched my lower back. Standing hurts, sitting hurts, everything hurts. Everything that is but laying flat on my back with my knees propped up. Sadly, there is almost nothing productive that can be done in that position, except examine your own ceiling. Mine is clean, crack free, and devoid of spider webs, in case you were wondering. Advil and heating pads are not doing me any good. I moved up to the hard stuff today- Lortab. If you were reading my ramblings 2 years ago at this time, you know about my relationship with Lortab. You also know that I should put the laptop away now that I've taken a fourth of a pill. (Hey, in my own defense, I used to take 2 pills to get this reaction. Now just a fraction of a pill gets me all silly.)

My dogs snore. Also, they hog the bed. There's nothing quite like waking up to find two (very heavy) dogs sleeping on top of you, taking up way too much of the bed, and two cats at the foot of the bed with very disapproving expressions on their faces. I fear for myself in my sleep.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Social Media and Engagement Marketing

If you are in the Utah Valley area and are interested in learning more about social media and engagement marketing (all that stuff I do for a living) and are free on Tuesday night, you are invited to attend a class I am teaching at UVU. Its an actual business course that invites me to come in and teach my specialty once a semester. If you are interested in attending, just let me know and I'll give you the rest of the details. (It is free, btw.)

Also, if any of my friends in the local area don't have a place to go on Thanksgiving, mi casa es su casa. Really, having a friend come over would make it so much better for us!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Bragging about Thanksgiving and Couponing Again

I went grocery shopping for Thanksgiving armed with over 30 coupons. As you may have noticed, I am becoming more and more obsessed with couponing! Today I made up my menu for the big day using all coupons, sales, and personal preferences. Everything will be made from scratch except for the green bean casserole. With just me, my brother, and his girlfriend having dinner this year we're going to keep it fairly small and simple.


apple pie
pumpkin pie
cranberry relish
fried apples
Aunt Toots' rolls (family tradition)
green bean casserole
mashed potatoes
"cranberry crack"

Whenever I used coupons I like to make the cashier ring the whole thing up, then run my discount card, and then run the coupons. I've mentioned this before, but I almost always get comments from onlookers about how much I can save. Today was no exception.

Original total: $233
after discount card: $199
after additional coupons $176

Savings: $57

Have I convinced you coupons work yet??

I know a lot of people like to reduce the overall bill and save money using coupons. I'm the opposite (sort of). I like to still spend my budgeted amount, but get more food! My budget was $200 for the month, plus Thanksgiving.

Friday the 13th- it might just be cursed!

Today was a day best forgotten. Sadly, it will more likely be a day I'll never forget. It was just a truly no-good, horrible, very bad day.

First, I overslept. Nothing major, it just meant the dogs didn't get walked like they should.

Second, every Friday I have a conference call where I have to show my weekly reports. When I do my reports I have to consult multiple websites, so I handwrite the statistics in my notebook, then type them into Excel. Don't ask me how or why, but somehow when doing my reports yesterday I wrote the correct number in my notebook, and then typed an incoherently wrong number in the reports. Of course, someone caught that one number that was off. And now all my work is getting second guessed and no one trusts my numbers. I've been doing these reports for a year, and have never made a mistake before. But someone sure does love making me look bad. And all that extra hard work I put in this week to improve the stats? No one even noticed.

Next, I was late for lunch. I rushed out the door and forgot to take my laptop with me. If I had remembered it, I could have just gone to lunch and then to my downtown office space (BetaLoft) and gotten more work done. But instead, lunch was longer than I had anticipated. No big deal, lunch was fantastic (seriously some of the best food I've had in a long time- you have to check out AcmeBurger!), and well worth it. But I was running late, and I hate that.

So then I get in my car and head home. I'm about 10 minutes outside of downtown when suddenly traffic comes to a complete standstill. 2 hours and 45 minutes later I got out of that wretched traffic jam. You can see the pictures I took while stuck in my car going nowhere along the right hand sidebar. 2 hours and 45 minutes of NOT moving, just stuck, completely stranded in traffic. I returned every email I could and made at least half a dozen phone calls. And twittered myself to death!

Thanks to that disaster, I got home just in time for dinner. That's when I remembered I was supposed to take dinner to 2 families that just had new babies. (Actually I was supposed to have arranged for other people to take them dinner, but both arrangements fell through.) So instead of going straight home I went straight to the store to pick up dinner for them. I got home, called them, and guess what? One family did have someone deliver them dinner. And the other family never answered their phone. Great, so I just bought 2 dinners that I can't eat (they contained corn, which i am allergic to). Wonderful.

So instead of getting totally mad at the universe I looked for something else to do with it. I took it across the street to my darling neighbors (Hi B!) who have been kind and shared food and cookies with me in the past. I invited myself right in and played with the kids and talked to B for a while, which actually really helped improve my crappy mood. And I just have to brag that the baby said my name! True, he did learn to say my dog's name before mine, but I'm okay with that. It was very cute to see that he definitely recognizes me and likes me today! He even gave me hugs!

You would think the bad day would end there, right? Nope.

My brother called a few minutes ago. He just got a flat tire on the same miserable stretch of highway I was stuck on today. There's a bunch of construction there and no shoulder. And he's in his new-to-him car and just discovered he doesn't have the right torx key thinger to get the hubcaps off his car. I helped him call a tow truck and even looked up youtube videos to try and figure out how to change his tire. (which i found, but didn't help since he didn't have the key thinger) Seriously, what did we ever do without the internet??

I'm starting to feel like that stretch of road is cursed!!

And then it hits me... Its Friday the 13th! No wonder! It really is a cursed day!!

One last thing, yes, today sucked big time. But you know what? There were good things in there too. Among other things, one of my guest writing spots on social media marketing went up today in Utah Pulse. If you're into that sort of thing, check it out. Also, I've created a new social media marketing blog. If you're really into that sort of thing, check it it out too! I really do love my chosen specialty and enjoy getting to talk about it.

And I can't forget to say Happy Birthday to Steph H!! 

Friday, November 13, 2009

What was the point again?

What was the point of attempting to do a blog post daily for NaBloPoMo? (or whatever it was called) Tonight my sleeping pills have not induced creativity or a tendency to overshare. Instead they are doing their job and actually making me sleepy. Yeah for that!
It occurs to me that its rather silly of me to force myself to do daily blog posts. Its not like I don't write on average 3-4 blog posts daily for work already. Not to mention I'm trying my best (in all that free time I have) to launch a career-oriented blog (feel free to check it out- even though I doubt it will be all that interesting to anyone not in marketing or the social media fields). Why on earth am I forcing myself to write even more?!
And yet, here I am, blogging anyway.
Sadly, what I have failed at big time is NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month). I really did have good intentions there. I just couldn't predict that my life would explode on me this week and next.

Just some of the insanity going on around here- (the stuff hinted at in my "Priorities" post 2 days ago)

-putting the final touches on my house before my foster care home inspection next week. This includes moving a bed to the kids room, setting it up,etc. I still need to move the dresser up from the garage. And I have to put a lock on the closet door in my laundry room. It turns out I'm really good at removing locks, and not so good at installing them. This is what my awesome home and/or visiting teachers will be asked to help me with next week.

- preparing for a presentation on Tuesday
- preparing for a major pitch next Friday
- getting meals set up for 2 new babies in our ward, plus 1 sick woman (6 meals total)
- my regular full time job
- writing an expert advice column
- writing my bi-weekly social media column

and a bunch of other stuff.

So yeah, in spite of the length of this blog post, which was all just to say that I think I've done enough writing for one day, I have now blogged.
The end.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

My Violin Playing Goat

It feels like how being in love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky." "With a goat playing the violin.""Happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat."
True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.” 

You're why cavemen chiseled on walls.”

"When love feels like magic, you call it destiny. When destiny has a sense of humor, you call it serendipity." 

I feel like you are the reward for everything I did right in my life.”

"I read once that love is friendship on fire. That's how I feel about you.” 

"I'm looking for a dare to be great situation." 

"You had me at hello."

"You know, that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and that person. And you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this gift. And you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it will go away all at the same time." 

"That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else."

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

"I love that you get cold when it's seventy degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night."

This blog post started out several days ago with a very different intent. A friend and I were discussing how my ideals have changed. How now I am no longer looking for a good and comfortable companion to live with. Now that I am in my mid-30s, stable, happy, and quite content with the path I am on, I have no desire to upset the apple cart to make room for a comfortable companion. If I'm going to change my life and allow someone in like that it will be for nothing less than fireworks and shooting stars. My friend argued with me that she didn't agree. After all, marriage isn't all fireworks and shooting stars, is it? The excitement fades away to comfortable companionship. But that's just the thing. I am comfortable. I have a good companion (my dog, Kaya). I don't want to uproot my life for something I already have. Loneliness is not an issue for me. I am quite content alone. There is no reason to change except for the exceptional!

But like I said, that was the direction this post was headed in several days ago. Tonight, aided most by sleeping pills, I'm feeling more daring, more open than usual. And when I read the romantic quotes of the silver screen, I can't help but think of what kind of man could stir that sort of emotion up in me. The truth is most days of the week I can't imagine that after this much time, this many bad experiences, this many broken hearts, that there is a man who so much wishfulness up in me. But sometimes when I least expect it I will get a glimpse of goodness in a man and it gives me hope that somewhere out there one man contains all of the goodness I am looking for.

I could make a checklist of qualities that my ideal man must exude. But I learned in my 20s that that is just a silly thing to do. Why exclude a wonderful man just because he matches his socks, or doesn't like country music? Instead, tonight, I think I can succinctly sum it all up in just a few short lines.

I want a man brave enough to daringly defy the odds and wants to give up the comfortable and convenient single life with me. I want a man who isn't afraid to be great. I want a man who has the courage to put his heart on the line and risk it all- for me.

Because what are all those romantic movie quotes about except putting your heart on the line and risking it all? All the way down to the violin playing goat. Because happiness isn't happiness until you have done the thing no one thought possible. You risked your own happiness to find love. You put yourself out there and achieved the inconceivable. You played the violin. You are the violin playing goat.

And that is what I am looking for- a violin playing goat. And nothing less.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


This picture is about 5 years old I think. I weigh 20 lbs less now. Woohoo! This was a trade show set up day. I never looked good on set up days. Superhero shirts were a necessity on setup days!

This afternoon I came to the very scary realization that I have, without question, completely overextended myself. I sat down to make up my list of things to do and realized that I have way too many major projects on my plate.

(deleted- I did have the major projects listed and then realized that maybe I shouldn't let everyone know I'm up to!)

Where to begin?!?!  And who is going to do the laundry and the dishes and walk the dogs and get all this stuff out of my living room while I get it all done??

What? You mean I signed up for this life and I have to do it all by myself? Fine, I will. Bring on the Diet Dr Pepper and break out the superhero t-shirts. I got myself into this, I'll get myself through it too.

And now you all know the secret as to why I have and wear so many superhero t-shirts. Self-motivation.

Live and Let Die

Sometime late tonight John Allen Mohammad will most likely be executed by the state of Virginia. If his name isn't familiar to you chances are that his criminal moniker, the DC Sniper, probably is.
I honestly don't know if I am for or against the death penalty. I don't believe that Mosaic law has much of a place in today's world. I do believe that the Ten Commandments cannot be replaced, but they can be added onto. But does "eye for an eye" truly hold up? In a world where there are other ways to make equal restitution, I just don't know.
But then I come back to thinking about Mr. Mohammad. And I don't believe he deserves to live among men. What he did was evil, unnatural, and absolutely not human. He has no place among humanity. He deserves absolutely nothing beyond a fair trial to determine his guilt. He is God's son and his punishment or forgiveness belongs in the hands of God, and not among men.
In my humble opinion, Mr. Mohammad is one of the lowest creatures on Earth. Not only did he commit atrocious acts of violence against mankind, but he also brainwashed and corrupted a young boy (John Malvo). Just for what he did to Malvo I believe he has lost the right to associate with other men.
And then I come back to my original argument.
Mohammad is a horrible person. I honestly don't know that he deserves the right to live. When I allow myself to think emotionally (which isn't hard to do- 2 of his attacks were within 5 minutes of my parents' home. Along with so many others I lived in complete fear and terror for my family's well-being during the attacks.) I am convinced he has no right to live. But when I think objectively about the death penatly, I just can't convince myself that men should ever be allowed to take the life of another.
Your thoughts?

To read more about tonight's execution, click here.

We're also discussing this on my Facebook page.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Lunchables- Laura T!

It would be so easy for me to just interview members of Big Brothers Big Sisters or the Big Alliance. There are some great people there, and I expect that I will introduce you all to many of them! This week I'm bringing you the crowning jewel of our wonderful organization!

Laura T!

Occupation: Awesome staff member at Big Brothers
How I met her: Like I said, she's an awesome staff member for BBBSU. She invited me to my first Big A event. I think we've talked at least once a week every week since then!
Lunchables location: Cheesecake Factory

Since Laura is also a Big Sister, and completely dedicated to the program, I thought it would be fun to bring along Little for the interview. My questions are in black, Little's in purple.

What is your favorite past-time?
She loves to go camping with her boyfriend, Matt. And there's nothing better than reading a book and sitting in the sun, just enjoying the quiet. When not camping, she likes to spend time in the garden (and now I know who to have come help me next spring).

Shoes or heels? 
Neither! Flats or flip flops. (Sidenote: I was with her yesterday in a mountain town, where the temperatures were far below 50 degrees. I was wearing thick socks and boots. She was in flip flops.)

What are you passionate about?
Prepare yourselves folks for absolutely the best answer ever given.
"Nothing really."
And then with a little prying she very passionately spoke for twenty minutes about the things she cares about. I learned so much about her during this time. It was fantastic!
Laura, like so many of us, thought she would go into politics. Her studies in college had her heading that direction. She wanted to be involved in something influential- or even be influential herself someday. But then during 2006 as the events at Guantanamo Bay unfolded she found herself becoming very disappointed and upset with politicians, and even in her friends who didn't care more. To put it mildly, she was very upset that more people didn't care about the lies that were told and the tortures that took place. Her exact quote, "People are mean, and that's not right."
She realized that you can't change the world, because you can't change ideas. So she herself made some changes. It wasn't a change of heart- she still believed strongly in wanting to be a part of something important and something influential. Instead she made a change of plans and got involved with non-profit work.
And that is how she found herself working for Big Brothers Big Sisters!

What's your favorite thing to do with your Little?
Really? Erin and I don't cook together anymore since we almost caught the apartment on fire one time.

What is your favorite memory?
No one memory stands out, but every camping trip is amazing. "I hope to someday make a favorite memory."

How long have you been with Matt?
2 years

What defines you?
Ambition- wanting to help people. The drive to do good things.
Being kind to people is important!

What's your favorite color?

Define your relationship style?
"I'm a career girlfriend." Every relationship is long term and serious. When she's in it, she's in it!

Why aren't you married yet?
Laura is not your traditional Utah, let's get married at 20 years old, type of girl. In fact, she's almost as far from that as you can get. In her view, marriage is an outdated tradition, and she's not a fan. Anyone can perform a marriage, and it only takes an hour online to get a divorce. 
"You can spend twenty years with anybody if you try hard enough. Try sixty years! Its a lot harder!" Life spans used to be a lot shorter, therefore, marriages used to be a lot shorter. Marriages served a very different purpose then.
She's very happy with Matt. She also notes that between the two of them, their parents have been divorced 8 times.

How many types of bread can you name?
Russian, rye, jewish, wheat, white, sourdough, potato, glucose free, corn, pumpkin, cinnamon, "everything at great harvest," the tasty savory loaf, sesame, bagels, banana, zucchini, french, and homemade.

What I want to tell you about Laura
First, she's fantastic. She's fun, patient, smart, understanding, passionate, and puts her money where her mouth is. She knows how to have fun and how to be professional. She's pulled together a very talented group of people from nothing to create a very effective and influential organization in under a year. She doesn't just talk about wanting to make a difference. She doesn't just donate a few dollars here and there. She chooses to work and devote her life to being involved in what she believes in. You wouldn't expect that after spending all day working for Big Brothers Big Sisters that she would also want to volunteer her time for them as well. But no! She's also a Big Sister. This is a girl that really does "walk the walk and talk the talk."

And now I need to ask all my darling readers for help! Do you have a single friend in the SLC area that you think I should meet and interview? If so, let me know! I need more people!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Joining the Cool Kids Club

I have finally joined the cool kids club and purchased a large flat screen TV. If you need to find me I'll be eating low fat snacks, spending quality time with my DVR, and enjoying a TV that doesn't require a telescope to see. I'll surface sometime next week. Feel free to stop by and bring a DVD with you.

Social Networking FAIL

I received a LinkedIn invite today from a former boss. A boss that I despised working for, and he despised me as well. He told me on more than one occasion to not think so much and just sit at my desk and look pretty. In other words, a guy I would never in a million years use as a reference or want to be associated with.
And yet, he's attempted to add me on LinkedIn.
But here's the kicker. He's listed me as a colleague for the wrong company. In so many ways, I'm not surprised. First, it shows his total lack of understanding as to how social networking works. Second, he still doesn't recall what it is I do! Its tempting to add him, just to write a recommendation on him, explaining how he was a jerk and  added me for the wrong company. Knowing him, he's too clueless to know how to delete a negative comment like that.
But I'm better than that, so I'll just block him instead.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Why just be when you can do?

What does it mean when you wake up with "Back in the USSR" stuck in your head?

I'm back in Utah again, and happily so. There is much to be done over the next few weeks and I'm excited and hopefully motivated to get to it all. I'll spare you the laundry list. Suffice it to say sometimes I have a tendency to really over do it, and these next two weeks may just prove that point all too well.

Why do I feel this constant need to run a million places at once? Is it that I really am pulled that many ways? Or do I just walk right into it and get myself involved in too many things? I'm never really sure.

One thing I do know, today I'm going to enjoy myself. I'm not going to worry about money, commitments, or what I haven't accomplished yet. I'm just going to enjoy getting my house in order and taking care of the little furry beings in my house.

That reminds me... "beings."

A few years ago there was a person in my life who often counseled me to stop trying to be everything to everyone. I'm sure he had good intentions, but he clearly didn't understand me as a person. But I digress. He frequently gave me advice (or what he thought was advice) that we are human "be"-ings, not human "do-ings." If I recall correctly (and to be honest I've blocked out most of the crap he ever said to me) his point was that it was okay to just "be," and not to have to constantly be "doing." I'm sure if a wiser and sager person had said all of that with more back up advice and theory maybe it would have made sense.

Personally, I'd like to call a big BS on that one. My dogs and cats, they are just "beings." They don't have much purpose in life other than to just be (thanks to domestication, but we'll save my lecture on that for some other day). Humans maybe would be better labeled as "doings." (Ick, its just so lame. I hate saying it.) I'll even paraphrase some Mormon scripture to back me up here. "Adam fell that man might be, and man is that he might have joy," and "overcome the natural man." To me that is plain and simple that we can't just be. We have to work to have joy.We have to overcome and not just be.

So when I'm stretched thin and wondering why I'm always so busy, I always remember the idiot that told me I didn't have to do everything. That I could just be. Sorry dude, I disagree. I'd rather spend my life doing something and finding joy from it. And not just "being" and never experiencing the happiness that comes from doing.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Goodbye New York, till next time

Oh my goodness, what a crazy week this has been! I always enjoy visiting New York City, and I always enjoy leaving NYC. There has been lots of shopping, shopping, and more shopping - all at H&M. (I did visit a few other stores as well, but only bought from H&M.) Tuesday night I went out with Georgina, an old friend from my Langley days. We went to a Turkish restaurant in Hell's Kitchen. I'm going to say neither of us really cared for it. Then we walked up to 30 Rock for a little Magnolia Bakery goodness. We discovered that 2 normal looking girls sitting still long enough will get asked to take pictures for strangers at least a dozen times in one night! It was so fun to see Georgina looking so good and happy! I love seeing happy friends!
Wednesday night I went out on a fun last second blind date! The guy was totally great and very understanding that I was shopping, and was kind enough to meet me at H&M. We had a great time chatting and then... Funny story there... So one upon a time a long time ago, my sister was in the hospital for a very long time. I was bounced around between different families at church for a while, spending much of my time with one particular family. They had lots of kids, and I fit in perfectly in the line up. They even set up a bed for me in their daughter's bedroom, and that became my second home for a while. They had a little boy in their family that was my nemesis. He was a wild little boy, and I was a girly girl, and we were oil and water.
So what does this have to do with my blind date? Guess who was (and still is) my blind date's BFF?? Yep, my nemesis. Talk about crazy coincidences and funny connections!
And that brings us to Thursday. Oh Thursday, what did I ever do to hurt you? First, breakfast sucked. Second, lunch was a hot dog that I think had it out for me. I haven't exactly recovered from that yet. But things looked up when I found out my cousin was in town for a few hours, and we hooked up for a fancy dinner.
So now I have lots of NaNoWriMo writing to catch up on (I left my computer in the office each night, so I couldn't type up my NaNoWriMo stuff, but I did write it in my notebook!), and over 300 Facebook notifications to catch up on.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

If this is working (and I have no way of knowing) I am now able to blog from my phone!!

Monday, November 02, 2009

Waking Up in the City That Never Sleeps

I'm back in NYC for the third time in five months. I've visited my three favorite places- H&M, Pronto Pizza, and Magnolia Bakery. And for the first real time since losing weight, I went clothes shopping. I honestly had no idea what sizes I would wear, and I am still not sure what size I wear! I visited H&M, Ann Taylor, and Macy's, and at each store I wore a very different size. I have a limited budget, so I'm doing lots of research shopping before I actually purchase some outfits. Gotta make sure I'm getting the most versatile and best deal, right??

I admit, its fun. Having no other place to be this evening, I tried on all sorts of outfits out of my price range, and certainly out of my range of necessity. Short, slinky, backless little black dress with pearl loops dangling down the back? Yes, I did that. $475 jeans with rhinestone studded belt loops with a $200 Ed Hardy shirt? Sure, why not. Silky, ruffly dress with stiletto heels? Of course. Its fun to play pretend dress up sometimes.

Tomorrow morning, fate willing, I will be getting up early for either a walk through Central Park, or if time permits, a trip down to Ground Zero. In all of the times I have been to NYC in the past 10 years, I have never been to Ground Zero. I'm trying to do a few new things this week, and that's top of my list. Let's see if it happens...

Lunchables- Intern Kate

Welcome to our third Lunchables installment. I have to admit, I am LOVING doing these. Meeting interesting people and eating good food. What's not to love?

Intern Kate

If you are a country music fan in the Salt Lake City area, you may already be familiar with this week's lunch date. "Intern Kate" can be found on the Keith Stubbs' Show on 101.5 the Eagle in the mornings.

Current location: Salt Lake City
Occupation: Personal Assistant and budding radio personality
Lunchables location: Ruth's Diner in Emigration Canyon
How we know each other: Kate and I met each other via Twitter of all crazy places. Until our lunch date we had never met in person, but had exchanged several Twitters and emails. Now we are regular texting buddies and plan to get together for some fun single girl adventures soon!

Question #1- Favorite past-time
"Radio! Getting to go to concerts, country dancing, or just hanging out at the station!"
Kate is new to radio. If you think being on-air radio talent makes you rich and famous, guess again. Radio stations are all operated on shoestring budgets. But that hasn't kept Kate, a darling 30-something, from taking a leap of faith into pursuing what she loves. Believe it or not she is an unpaid intern, and is working there because she loves it. (She also has a full-time job as a personal assistant to a local businesswoman.) You can do Kate a favor and help her be even better at her internship by following @1015theeagle on Twitter! (She runs the account.)

Question #2- Passions!
No surprise here. The sweet and sensitive Kate says that she is passionate about her friends and family, and helping them out. She says it keeps her up at night worrying about other people's struggles. (Sounds like she's a wonderful friend to have!)
Oh and radio!

Question #3- What is your favorite memory?
"Spending time with my step-sisters. We would put on dance concerts for our parents, tape it, and watch it over and over again!"

Question #4- What defines you?
Kate took a very long pause and thought this one over before answering.
"Very spontaneous, something crazy, and taking road trips."

The next question is "give me 5 words that define your dating life." But here's what you need to know about Kate first. Not unlike some people I know, she's in her 30s, sick of dating, and yet hasn't given up all hope yet. She's recently started dating a great guy, and has even more recently begun referring to him as her boyfriend. It is all still so new to her I can't blame her for not knowing which answers to give. Kate with a Boyfriend answers? Or the Other Kate who is in her 30s and finds dating impossible?
After some debate, she went with Other Kate.
"Before I decided to let him be my boyfriend..."
1. Spontaneous
2. Willing to give someone a chance
3. Expecations
4. Random
5. Not superficial/very in-depth

And the best answer ever? "I once went to Canada for a first date [with a guy she met online]. Try explaining to Border Patrol that you don't know the guy's last name."

Question 6- Why aren't you married yet?
She busts up laughing. And keeps laughing.
"Because I haven't said yes!"

Now for the fun question- name as many types of cheese as you can think of in 1 minute-
Bleu, string, gorgonzola, goat, cottage, mozzarella, smoked, sharp, cream, and pepper jack!

What I want to tell you about Kate-
Asking a girl I had never met before out to lunch was a little intimidating. Like I said before, we had only communicated a few times via Twitter. (We're both "Due Westies.") We also exchanged a few emails regarding social media tips. No big deal. A few weeks ago she left a comment on my blog, which lead me to her blog, which lead me to the real her. As soon as I read her blog, Kiss Me Kate,  I knew we would get along. I've struggled a lot in Utah to find a single female friend who had never been married before, and has the same ideals and ambitions as me. In DC (and other places I have lived) this was never a problem for me. In Utah its ridiculously difficult to find!
Within just a few minutes of sitting down to eat (ooh, almost forgot- at the time we were both on the HCG diet. instead of moral support, we both completely encouraged each other to cheat. it was fun.) we were opening right up and talking about how hard it is to maintain our ideals and standards sometimes. We were both thrilled to discover a kindred spirit who understands the difficulties and challenges of the over-30 LDS dating world.
She is genuine and down to earth, and equally funny and adventurous. I tested her when she said she likes crazy adventures and road trips. (I was only half joking, and mostly serious.) We had known each other less than 30 minutes when I asked her if she wanted to take the gay bus to Wendover to see a Joan Jett concert. I knew we'd be great friends when she actually considered it for a minute, and then realized she had plans with her boyfriend. And then suggested I meet her boyfriend so that we could convince him to do some crazy things with us!
She's the real deal. If her awesome boyfriend doesn't step up to the plate (no rush, it is still a new relationship and all), I will personally go on a mission to find her the perfect man, if for no other reason than to get her off the playing field so that I can have a chance!

Sunday, November 01, 2009

NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo

No, I'm not talking gibberish! It just sounds like I am.

I'm taking the NaNoWriMo challenge this month. What's that? National Novel Writing Month. If you take the official challenge and register with their site, you are committing to writing a 175 page novel (or by their counts 50,000 words) in 30 days. (I still recall all too well when our publisher said, "love the book, now go back and add another 50 pages or 25,000 words minimum to it." So I question the challenge just a bit.) So I'm taking my own spin on the challenge, and committing to writing for 1 hour daily for 30 days.

Then there is the NaBloPoMo challenge. That would be National Blog Posting Month. I am committing to writing with intent every day for 30 days.

Obviously if I can keep up with NaBloPoMo you will know.

If I can keep up with NaNoWriMo I will start sharing some of it later in the week (on my very very neglected StoryAnnie blog).

Anyone else taking the challenges?

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