Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Let's Talk About Boys

I love talking about boys. If you know me, you knew that already. And since I'm taking Lortab tonight my filter is turned off and I feel like sharing!

I have 2 active crushes on 2 very different men this week. That hasn't happened in forever. 2 at once! One is a very sweet guy that I am friends with. When we first met he showed some interest, but no action. There was some flirting and after a few drinks one night he hit on me. Sadly, he's been sober ever since. We're most definitely in the "friends zone,"  but I like to think there's still a chance that could be stopped. I get the impression he's interested, but there's something holding him back. Maybe I just need to get him drunk again and take advantage of him?

The other guy is fairly new. You know I have to be on Lortab to admit that I met him on eHarmony. I don't know why I'm always so embarrassed to admit we met through online dating. But there it is. Who are we kidding? I work from home (so no co-workers), and I go to a family church (no singles). I never meet new people, let alone singles! The internet is my last and dying hope. And hell, I work in social media. I'm the only person alive who can honestly say they made a career out of figuring out how to talk to boys online. So anyway, back to the cute new guy. We've emailed, texted, and called, but we haven't yet met in person. He has lots of great qualities, and I'm looking forward to it. And did I mention he's just adorable to look at? Actually both guys are quite adorable. How's a girl to choose between adorable and adorable?

Clearly I'm not very good at dating and flirting. I'm 34 and very very single. And so very over it. But it really would be nice if a guy could show interest in me without the help of Jack Daniels, or the safety of indifference on the internet. Whatever happened to good old fashioned spotting a girl across the room, smiling at her, and asking her out? I can't even remember the last time I met a guy the good old fashioned way.


  1. I adore crushes. They are so fun to have. How fun for you.

    I have male friend who swears up and down that if a man doesn't make his interest known in dating a girl right away, he will get put on the friendship ladder and it is near impossible to get off. But then guys get on the friendship ladder because they are too scared to risk possible rejection by letting the girl know he is romantically interested, so they go the less risky route of being friends and thus get stuck on the ladder. I always told him to get over himself and take a risk. The funny thing about risks, the more you take the less risky they seem.

    I say flirt away with both guys and see who bites first. Men love to hear how funny, fabulous, and helpful they are. :)

    You should try speed dating! I did it a couple times and had a complete blast. I even met a great guy I ended up dating for nine months. I'm still friends with him and I still think he is fabulous. We just don't happen to have the same long term plans.

  2. Thanks Genevra! I love your comments.
    I had a funny conversation last night with an old guy friend. He was giving me advice about something completely unrelated to dating, but his specific advice was, "You can't just keep hinting for 10 years! Guys have to be hit over the head with a sledgehammer and then tell them why you them, for them to notice anything!"
    I was thinking about that and about the guy you mentioned who goes the friendship route out of fear of rejection. It makes me wonder, am I just attracted to egotistical guys who assume all girls want them? And therefore immediately defend themselves against me so I won't hope for more with them?
    Yet again, I feel like my dating life is not as easy or as simple as some others.
    Why can't I find a guy who actually shows he likes me, and appears to be happy when I'm interested back?!

  3. Oh, how I laughed when I read your response. In a I so get where you are coming from way. I so wish it was easy and I don't why it is easier for some people to couple up, than it is for others. But I do know I'm so happy I didn't settle down with the choices of my younger years. Because I had some seriously poor taste. :)

    The guy you were talking to is right about having to hit some/most guys over the head with a sledgehammer. The best thing I learned was when it comes to men just saying what you want point blank is the best way for it to come to fruition, or not, but at least you won't be guessing and trying to read their "signals". Because frankly they don't really have signals the way we women do. We are trained as women how to talk to other women which is to read between the lines, etc. or pick up on the signals.

    At different times in my last two serious relationships I thought I was being so blunt and obvious, and I would later find out that the men were still unsure of what I wanted. In the end I learned to be very clear and to the point about what I was communicating and it was hard because I felt like I was talking down to them by being so obvious. Turns out I wasn't; they were just happy to know exactly where I was coming from and not have to guess.

    Hmm, I don't know about the only attracting egostistical jerks, but it might be something to wonder about and see what you come up with.

    I keep telling myself when I have the answers to all my dating ponderings of the last fifteen years I am so writing a book. When I was a practicing Mormon I used to really wish that they taught dating and communication courses as part of the Young Men and Young Women and Single Adult curriculum. Because hello, how many times do you have to make an emergency 72 hour kit before you have it down?


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