It was probably more apparent to those around me than it was to me personally, but I've finally woken up and realized I'm stressed out more than usual and handling it very poorly.
Signs I'm not handling the stress well- incessant heartburn and acidic stomach, my jaw is actually sore from all the clenching and gritting, my emotions are riding way too high (if you've been in my physical presence for more than 5 minutes in the past 4 weeks you have probably also seen me cry), sleep is a thing of the past, and I an completely incapable of finishing anything I start.
I'm a fairly "matter of fact" person, and usually pretty good at looking at my situation and rolling with the punches. And I think I am rolling with the punches the best that I am built to do so. (Maybe there are other people out there who are better at not caring that they have no control over their life and future. I am not one of them.)
So I have decided that for the next two weeks I am going to do things "because I can." By that I mean I am going to do things that I have always wanted to do, but responsibilities, time, etc prevent me from doing. But for the next two weeks, I am going to enjoy myself. For the first week (starting on Monday) I am going to-
1. See a movie (at the theater) every day. There a dozen movies out that look fabulous. I'm going to treat myself to a daily $4 matinee until I've seen everything worth seeing. Why? Because I can.
2. Channel my inner Emeril/Julia Childs/Rachel Ray/Paula Deen and a few others and actually cook. This will be a bit tricky since my finances are severally limited. But I just got the most lovely set of cookware for Christmas from my family and I'm going to break them in by cooking something amazing with them each day. This will be short lived as I embark on #3-
3. Lose another 20 lbs on the HCG diet - because I can!
4. Take my dog for a nice big walk every day- because we both deserve it.
5. Call a different "old friend" each day.
6. Spend extra quality time with "Little"- while we still can!
And that's just the first week. The second week is what I'm more excited about.
For the second week, I am going to do something I have always wanted to do. For years now I have claimed that "this year" I will take a week off and write a book full-time. But time, family, and more tempting vacations have drawn me other places. But! "Because I can" I am going to finally to do it. For my second week, I am going to have my own little home vacation, and write a novel full-time.
Of course, nothing guarantees another major change and wrench to the works than to set some fun goals. But if it is going to happen, let's hope they are good, shiny, paycheck related wrenches!
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