Saturday, June 26, 2010

One more reason to love her

One of the best, most heartfelt, and honest blog posts by TRS is up and running today. A great testament to staying true to who you are and what you believe in, and not dumping those beliefs just to be with a man. Go read it!

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:52 PM

    Interesting. I didn't find it as heartfelt and honest as you. People break up for many reasons. She just gave one. I'm sure there were others. It makes for a nice story, but I'm sure it isn't the whole story. You can make a man look awful for his fears, but she was never faced with the reality of the situation, just hypotheticals. He may have felt differently if she were pregnant. They probably had other issues too.

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  2. Thanks Erin!

    Anonymous, I certainly didn't set out to make him look awful. (and I don't think I did so) He was a very kind, sincere and thoughtful man. And yes, of course we had some other issues.

    I just felt in my gut that I had no reason to believe 100% that he would stick around with me and a child, special needs or not. And I admitted that such a conclusion might not be fair because I didn't actually ask.

    Maybe that is why I wrote it - to encourage young women to ask the questions that they want the answers to - so that they can make the best, informed decision.

    He is most likely married now. With kids, I'm sure. In fact, I'm pretty certain he was married within a few years. Maybe he even has special needs kids... maybe when the chips are down, he is capable of more than I thought he would be.

    I'll never know. And that's okay.

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  3. Anonymous7:21 AM

    TRS, I'm glad you went with your gut. Referring to someone as "cave man" and pointing out your differences can make someone look bad. I didn't have the impression that you were intentionally trying to make him look bad, but from a reader's perspective, that seemed like a possibility. Relationships and dating are complex. It is hard to find someone close to what you want, but not be quite right.

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  4. Okay Anonymous... now it's clear that you're just jumping to conclusions and deciding you know the whole truth about things that you have no information on.

    Did you miss this part: "We shall refer to this man by his nickname acquired post-breakup. More on that another time." ?

    His Cave Man moniker has NOTHING to do with his position on terminating pregnancies... or even abandoning families.
    I clearly stated that I'd explain it another time... but you decided to jump to conclusions instead.

    So here it is. When you break up with someone, sometimes you need a shorthand name when referencing them later. For example, I went through a handful of men named John. The one that never talked - we call 'Mute John'. The one who had two canine friends with a tendency to assault my private areas with wet noses... is known as "John-with-two-dogs"

    CM had the same first name as my nephew, so a distinction had to be made. Because he so loved solitude and living far away from other people and making fire with his own hands... Cave Man isn't a far stretch and it was never meant as an insult. He would probably laugh about it. Wilderness Man or Frontier Man might have been better... but my friends and I didn't think of those at the time.

    But you know... I understand the jumping to conclusions bit - because whenever I see a negative comment hiding behind the word Anonymous... I picture the same chicken-sh!t person in my head... even though I know it could be any number of people out there - not brave enough to put their own thoughts, believes and life observations up to public scrutiny.

    Erin... sorry for hijacking your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8:32 AM

    Don't take it personally. I just didn't glean the same thing Erin did. It was a break up story. To me, all break up stories are one sided and I take them with a grain of salt. Readers take away different things because they are individuals with different backgrounds. I happen to think Cave Man is somewhat negative because of Geico commercials. Go figure, I watch television. Your blog didn't touch me like it did Erin. You won't touch everyone and that is okay.

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