Saturday, June 05, 2010

Trust and Checkmate

Trust- it is a tricky, tricky word. The balance of who to trust, when to trust, and when to open up and allow yourself to trust. Sometimes it feels like a never-ending mousetrap that you just can't beat.
I have brought this subject up here before. How much has pop culture changed our views on trust and honesty? Have we been so altered by pop culture (believing all major conflicts can be solved in 30 minutes or less, and with a laugh and a hug at the end, all love must involve sex, and passion is always an excuse to get what we want) that we no longer have a reason to trust others?
Did that make any sense? Hang on, I'm getting to my point.
Tonight as I got into a strange little argument about trust with a friend, I found myself wondering what the purpose of trust is. We (and by we, I tend to mean Generation X) see trust as a chess game. I make a move, you make a move, and either we earn each other's confidence with our strategy, or we catch each other in a checkmate, never able to trust the other.
In such a world, is there any purpose to trust? Can we actually trust in trust? Or is trust something that comes and goes? We trust you for now, while you serve our needs. But once you are no longer needed, you no longer have our trust.
Are there still sleepy eyed dreamers out there who choose to trust and love without forcing the other party through hoops and tests? Is there such a thing as unconditional trust?
Generation X is defined by their lack of trust in an employer. As a member of Gen X, I can see why. My last several jobs have all ended because the employer was dishonest or could not pay its employees. In comparison, many GenXers are jaded against "the man." They go to work, work hard, make an honest living, and find themselves looking up at the mansion on the hill where their boss lives, while GenX scrambles to make ends meet. Gen X grew up watching the Iran Contra Affair, the Cold War, and President Clinton's infamous, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Gen X witnessed 50% of marriages end in divorce. Gen X grew up on television shows built on dishonesty.
So how can we ever expect Gen X to unconditionally love and trust?
I don't know. But tonight I am going to reread Stephen Covey's Speed of Trust.
The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything


  1. Anonymous6:42 PM

    IM so glad you posted this thank you, I have been having this trouble as someone took my trust and abused it, now it hurts me and I have a huge problem of trusting. How do you do that again how can u be sure of trusting, this is one of your post I really can relate, thank you and I like the new outlook of it with the rating of it.

  2. Jules9:36 PM

    For me, trust is something I give easily, but once you give me reason not to trust, it takes a good long time to earn it back.

  3. I'm curious - have you finished the book? Was useful in a personal way, or did it talk primarily in terms of business? Because anything that would help people (me) trust others more on a personal level would be really useful.


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