Saturday, July 17, 2010

I suck at flirting and meeting guys

(pretty high up there on the list of worst pictures of me ever. and yet, so accurate.)

The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Different guy, same story.
Girl + boy = nothing
Overanalyzation = no conclusion

My love life pretty much never changes. The typical formula is I meet a nice guy. He's friendly, he flirts, he shows some interests (but never asks me out). I slowly but surely come around and get to the point where I actually like him. By then he's usually well into "friend zone." I then spend anywhere from one week to a year being really good friends with him, and over-analyzing every move and conversation. I'm so tired of it.

So there's a new-ish guy. Thankfully we're only a few weeks, okay maybe months, into this one. And I had my first ridiculous over-analyzation yesterday. We're not going through this again. I just don't care enough to repeat history- again!

And so before I do this all over again, we're going to take some relationship lessons. Next week will be Relationship Week here on the blog. In other words, I will not be doing all the writing. I'd love a few more guest writers. And maybe someone to be my Dear Abby? Anyone want to share their "how we met" stories? Or share their dating advice? Lemme know!


  1. I'm with you all the way!

  2. You inspired me. I just posted my "How It All Started" post on my blog. I wanted to put it there for family history purposes for my kids, but you may use it if you like. (My feelings won't be hurt if you don't.)

  3. I'm in. I'm all in. Tuesday. How long do you want it?

  4. Ack. I feel your pain. I'm pretty sure I gave up on the whole thing this weekend, actually. Not 12 hours ago. I just don't have it in me to do again, not now.

  5. Got the email Tuesday looks taken so Monday? Let me know. Staying home sick from church

  6. Anonymous6:20 AM

    Erin, it sounds like you know what the problem is. I also have to point out if they show interest and never ask you out. They weren't really that interested.
    I recommend that you break the cycle by dating and meeting a lot of men. You won't form the attachments that you have been doing and overanalyze things and you will get more practice flirting.

  7. What you've been doing hasn't been working. So find a guy you like and ask him out. I know, role reversal sucks. You want a man to be a man and pursue you, yada, yada...but that doesn't seem to work with Mormon boys. So find a nice guy, call him up and ask him to go get a smoothie with you. Maybe even kiss on the first date. Change it up, just once, and see what happens.

  8. PS - my post was inspired by a friend of mine who challenged me to go on 50 random dates. I took her up on her offer only to realize there are not that many men I actually want to date. And that I like having my own time to myself. So that is a pattern I need to break if I ever intend to get married.

  9. Anonymous8:41 PM

    a couple of points first most 99% of mormen men have been neutered, myself included, and we are confused and bitter about it. We often feel that we cant win that we are damned no matter what we do. Second You do seem to be out there working your mojo meeting and greeting which is better than oh so many of us

  10. Oh, Anonymous. :) I must only know the 1% of men who are real men, because I don't know any Mormon men who are neutered the way you claim.

    What I'd like to see is MORE than just the standard "get out there and meet men" solution. I'm 35, I work at a university, and I hate single adult activities. Tell me HOW to get out there and meet more men, men who are actually eligible (read: not 10 years younger than me and not creepy).

  11. Anonymous2:50 PM

    Heidi, I dont know sincce one of my nick names is creepy I just dont know. I quit going to YSA and SA events before the Y2K bug was going to destroy the world. I got sick and tired of the word no. My comment about being out there was to give erin props for fighting the good fight for being out in dating world for putting herself out there. Yes she may be losing the battles but by fighting she can win the war. There are far too many of us who have said no mas and give up in defeat and hide in the shadows. i think that this couldd be one of the reasons that the church loses the SA men in such large numbers to inactivity. Heidi you may be struggling but you are at least in a target rich(er) environment than most of us. I dont have any answers for you but good luck


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