Friday, July 23, 2010

Relationship week- Stephanie's not so straight path to the altar

Today we get the story of Stephanie of the Daily Blarg and Brian, and their not so perfect path to happiness. I love Stephanie and Brian's "flirting" on Twitter. It can get pretty mushy- if you are in to slankets, bunnies, and thursketti!
I should probably start this post with a disclaimer:  I took a difficult path to get to the most rewarding place.  While I would never recommend it for another soul, I wouldn't change a thing.
To understand where I am you have to know where I came from...
To keep this pretty "G" rated I will say that I had a very wild 4 months after turning 16.  I could blame it on so many things.  Complete lack of parental involvement.  Wanting so much to be loved.  But I like to attribute my promiscuity to the growth of an ample pair of breasts over the summer.  And really, I am completely accountable for my actions. 
During this four months I bounced from one loser boyfriend to the next.  Because I mistook their interest in me as something more than purely sexual.  Obviously, this is NOT the way to find a soul mate.  Let this be lesson number 1.  Sex does equate long lasting eternal love but it does help you get knocked up.  SURPRISE!
Now typically I don't like to announce to the interwebs my, let's call it "whorey" past.  But really stay with me.  Because from all this comes something amazing.  I mean other than a baby....
I will skip past the year of single motherhood.  But let this be lesson number 2.  Wow, being on your own, a teenager, and a a mother.  Another thing to mark off your list of things you want to do. 
After a couple failed relationships with men who were in no way father material, (Apparently, I was a slow learner.  Very slow you are about to find out.)  I started dating Brian.  And by dating I mean I went out with him so he would STOP bothering me.  He had been asking me out for months.  And why would I say yes.  He was everything I had never dated before.  Respectful, kind, and occasionally looked at me in the eyes.  
Fast forward a few months... remember I am a SLOW LEARNER... and bam.  Guess who's pregnant again?  Let this be lesson number 3.  You can get pregnant again out of wedlock and prove just how stupid you are.  But remember that guy... you know the one I only started dating so he would stop asking me out?  Well, it turns out that my decision to start a relationship may have been a smart one.  Let this be lesson number 4.  Sometimes the person you never expect to be with is exactly who you should be with.
Brian and I were married on June 7th, 1997 and on August 26th we welcomed our son into the world.  Our second son.  Because he loved my first son and wanted be his father.  And for that my love for him is so profound I cannot express in words.  And shortly before his 5th birthday he became Brian's legal son.  Something he had already been emotionally and physically for years.  Blessings are not always what you expect them to be.  But I know that Brian is one of the greatest blessings I have been given.
See... I told you it ends up to be amazing.  13 years later and I can truly say that I love Brian MORE than I did on the day we were married.  We have grown, laughed, cried, struggled, fought, and found our way to the perfect place.  Not to say our life is perfect but we have a balance and a connection that I never thought was possible.  He is my best friend.  He is my soul mate.  He is the father of my children.   And most of all he is the person I will spend the rest of my life with.  Because somehow all of my terrible choices led me right to him.  I believe it is exactly where I was always meant to be.


  1. Anonymous6:08 PM

    Wow, Erin! These examples make me NEVER want to get married!

  2. LOL! I think Anonymous is not looking at the deeper meaning in all of this weeks stories. Love is difficult, sometimes messy, but always rewarding.

    Thanks for featuring my not so conventional story.

  3. This makes me depressed but I'm still happy things worked out for you.

  4. "Sometimes the person you never expect to be with is exactly who you should be with." I can COMPLETELY relate to this. If someone had asked me before I met Danny to write down what I was looking for in a husband, it would not be anything like Danny. But it is Danny who has made me happy. Sometimes we don't know ourselves as well as we think we do.


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