Monday, July 26, 2010

Relationships and Communications


In college I studied communications. I took classes in interpersonal communications, mass comm, international comm, and more. (And I loved it. Just wish there was more you could do with that degree.) One of the key things we learned, and heard over and over again, was that "you cannot not communicate." The absence of a dispatched communication is still, nonetheless, a communication. You are choosing to communicate that you wish to not share information. It is still communication.
The next lesson we learned, and heard over and over again, is that all people have a relationship. Two people who declare to not be in a relationship, are in an undefined relationship. Two people who do not communicate with each other, are in a non-communicative relationship. All people are in a relationship. And the important thing in all communications, is to know what kind of relationship you are in, so that you can communicate effectively.
For instance,
News Radio DJ to listener= a relationship of implied trust that the DJ will provide accurate news. And that the receiver is listening.
Two Enemies= a relationship of distrust and deceit
Warring Nations= one has something the other wants (in theory), or has done something to hurt the other
Siblings= share a genetic tie, common experiences, and possibly love
Friends= shared common experiences, shared similarities, shared points of view, mutual respect, mutual adoration
Dog and Master= one party provides loyalty and love, the other party provides food, shelter and belly rubs
Follow me? As long as all roles are understood in the relationship, you have effective communications (even if that communication is "we are at war, and want to steal all your diamonds and chocolate). If the intentions/role of one party are not understood, communications are not effective, and break down.
So when it comes to all things love and dating, it stands to reason that the key ingredient to success is communication and definition. To know what sort of relationship you are in, and to understand what the other person wants, all so that you can both effectively communicate.
Which then stands to reason that you must know what you want, or all other endeavors are fruitless, or destined for failure. And that brings me right back to where I started last week. What do I want in a relationship?
Anybody care to share what they want in a relationship? I'd love to hear it.

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely. And the funny thing is, when new relationships begin, most people are too nervous to communicate their wants/needs, in case the person they are falling for doesn't fulfill those wants/needs, and they have to "start over". The first time I was ever bold enough to communicate what I was looking for, I got married.

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