Thursday, August 19, 2010

homesick


Remember when you were a little girl (because I'm assuming the bulk of my readers are female) and you would go to a slumber party? You were surrounded by friends and food and the promise of fun things to come, but you got homesick and scared, and cried to go home instead? And so with you dad in his pajamas and a trench coat, he'd come down the street to carry you home? And even though you know the party would have been fun if you had just stuck it out, all you want is to go home?
That is how I have felt lately. I'm in a good place. I'm surrounded by people that I love and they love me. There are good things here for me. And the promise of more good things to come. But I'm homesick. I'm so very very homesick.
I miss my old life more than words can say. I want to go back to my old life, where I had a big wonderful home, and my own things around me. I want to go back to my friends. I miss "Little" more than words can say. I want to know my neighbors and my surroundings. I want to sing in my choir. I want to have a job with a good income again. I just want to be me again.
I haven't had anything stable or familiar in nearly 9 months. I miss my life. I want to be in one place that I can get my car registered and not feel like it is a waste of time and money. I don't want to have to explain my area code ten times a day. I want my bed. I want my dresser that I picked out and refinished. I'm tired of living out of boxes and suitcases. I don't want my dog to go and panic by the door every time I move a box.
I am homesick. I want my life back. But I can't have it back, can I? Time marches on and things change. Time to be happy with the next phase.

1 comment:

  1. I hope that things pick up again for you. You can find happiness anywhere, you've proved that time and time again. You can do hard things :)

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