Sunday, October 24, 2010

Never give up hope

Twice this week I have read Facebook statuses from individuals going through extraordinarily difficult trials saying that they are turning against God, or have given up hope.
I don't speak much on this blog regarding my own faith, but have never shied away from sharing my faith. Today that will change.
I have faced and endured by own heavy trials over the past year. The life I have today would have been unimaginable to me one year ago. The past few weeks have been more difficult than most of the past year put together. But my trials are mine and mine alone.
Earlier this week I "hit my knees," so to speak. I knelt down to pray, more humble, more penitent, more heartbroken and weak than ever before. It was 1 a.m. I cried my heart out to the Lord, and begged for guidance and light. Something to get me to the end of this very long dark tunnel.
I tried to go to sleep. But I tossed and turned, and finally gave up. And then at 1:45 am I turned on my computer. Why? I didn't know. But it was what felt right. And then, at 1:45 am, a friend IM'ed me. It was the most unexpected conversation I have ever had after that. Nothing spectacular about it. And probably not even memorable to the friend. But one of the answers I was looking for was shared then and there- in the most unlikely of places.
Next I checked my emails. And again, there at 1:45 am there was an answer. But it was an email that required and immediate response. The good fortune that came to me from that email could not have possibly waited till the next morning. I found a wonderful blessing and opportunity there in the middle of the night.
It is no secret that many and most of my troubles are financial these days. I am trying to get by on half of what I used to get in unemployment. And yet, my expenses have more than doubled. It isn't easy. So you can only imagine the tears of joy I shed when my aunt called and said, "A check arrived in the mail for you." I laughed and said, "you must mean a bill!" She said, "No, I'm looking at it. It's a check made out to you." It was for something I could never have seen coming. A project I had started but not yet launched had already made me money. And there was a check for exactly the amount of money that I needed.

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