Stephanie (sister, age 21): I feel like a fat sow! I ate a whole box of chocolate covered turtle doves!
Lexi (cousin, age 5): Erin, are you old enough to get married?
Me: Yes, but I have to meet a nice boy first.
Lexi: Do you know Stephen? (her brother-in-law, married to my cousin, standing about 5 ft away)
Me: yes, but Stephen is married already!
Lexi: Oh, (long pause) how about Remington (her brother, age 15, also standing about 5 ft away)?
Me: Well, Remmy is my cousin. I can't marry my cousin.
Lexi: You can't marry cousins?
Lexi (head hangs down sadly in disappointment): Oh. (pause) Let's go play a game!
Different day. Same Lexi. Outside, walking through the snow, a good 20 feet from her house.This joke will only make sense if you were raised Mormon.
Lexi: We're walking, and walking, and walking, and walking, and walking, like the Primary children.
Me: You mean the pioneer children?
Lexi gives me a look of discipline and shakes her head no.