Showing posts from February, 2011

I'll Take Door #3

here is what I really think about using online "dating" websites-I'm going to either a) be single forever  or b) end up with an overweight, balding man, 20 years my senior, with gratuitous nose hair and a penchant for wearing wife beaters.  At least this is what I have gleaned from looking over the "who's viewed me" list. Either way, this does not bode well for me. 

A little fun in Amish Country

As mentioned in my last post, I drove up to Pennsylvania for a singles "ski" trip this weekend. The skiing is quite optional. There were about 40-50 singles there, with odds of 5 girls to every 1 guy. I looked around the room at one point, and saw 5 -6 girls and one guy at each table. Downright laughable.
I saw a few old familiar faces, and made a few new friends as well. On Saturday I joined a few of the new friends for a trip to Lancaster County (for you non-Easterners, that is pronounced "LANK-uh-ster."), better known as Amish Country. I had never been there before, and I really enjoyed it. I'd love to go back someday with just one or two friends (or just my sister Nats) and have a leisurely day there.
We learned about the differences between Mennonites and the Amish, which was informative and helpful. Here in Roanoke we see Mennonites on occasion, as there are a few offshoots of them nearby. We heard a few Amish accents, took a buggy ride (with a very amus…
Today is that rare day where I use my blog to talk about politics and world events.
I can't remember where I was or what I was doing when the Berlin Wall fell. I was 14 years old at the time, and the event occurred with little to no acknowledgement from me. I was still young enough, raised by Republicans enough, and patriotic enough to be very pro-USA, and very anti anything Soviet or communist. I couldn't understand communism, lack of freedoms, or oppression until I was much older. I sang in a patriotic themed children's choir. I couldn't understand

Single People- I'm coming to find you!

Tomorrow, for the first time in over a year, I will actually go to a social event. A singles event! Since leaving my friends in Utah nearly one year ago, I haven't gone to a party, or anything close to it. I haven't been around other singles, or in an environment where parties or social events (that didn't include my cousins) were happening.
More amazingly, I am going to a church/LDS social event. It will be my first one in about 4 years, maybe 5. When I lived in Utah I went to a few church events during my first 6 months there, but then after that, I never heard about any other "official" church activities. (During the 3 years I lived in Utah, I was the only active single woman in my wards.) However, I did go to plenty of parties and social events with friends. They just weren't church activities in Utah. (Someday I will attempt to explain the relationship between the LDS Church, singles activities, and how entrepreneurs are ruining the singles scene in Utah…

A few unexpected changes can go a long way!

Just when you think things will never get any better, a phone call right out of the blue can change everything. After all of last week's frustrations, anger, depression, and tears, this week is a totally different tune!
This week a cousin (she's actually my dad's first cousin) called me and asked if I could be a night care giver to my elderly and sick great-aunt. She offered to pay me (far more than I would have asked for), and I began working that very night. This not only helps in the way of income, but also gives me something to do.
I've been anxious for something to do outside of the house, just so I could be more structured with my time.
Which basically just left me with my need to socialize. And guess what? Well, you'll have to wait and find out. I'm sure I'll have pictures and stories to tell you next week about the socializing event I get to do this weekend.
So I'm blogging at 1:30 am, while my "patient" is sleeping. I'm adjusting …

thinking ... things

Here's what I think. I think I have way too much on my mind. Way too much free time, and yet not enough time in the world to get all my thoughts thought out.  Is that redundant? Things on my mind at this exact moment- I applied for a mall job today (4 actually). These jobs are likely to hire much faster than any of the 10 other "real" jobs I applied for today. Do I risk taking a mall job, just to have to quit a few days later? (hopefully!) Am I ever going to actually get a real job? And if I do get a real interview for a real job, do I dare tell them about the Peace Corps looming over me in just a few months? In the new book I am writing, is it more romantic that he doesn't kiss her (because he respects her), or should he just go for it and kiss her because they are in love? Speaking of which, when is the last time I went on a decent date? Shh... don't answer that.  Which reminds me, the guy who sent me the email about communing with cows wants to "go to the next lev…


I need a muse.
There, I've said it.
My life is far too boring, way too uneventful, and incredibly dull these days. Nothing but let-downs and static.
I need a muse. And inspiration.
I need something or someone that gets me motivated and creative again.
I thought for a few days I had met an interesting guy. Sadly, he quickly went from interesting to downright peculiar and odd. Including an email he sent me about cows.
Cows do not equal muse. Ever.
I'm suddenly understanding the practice of having a muse, and why artists were patrons of rich benefactors. I can't be creative sitting around at home. But take me out of the house, put me in a beautiful setting, with new, inspiring people around, and I can write anything. I can create all day long.
I need a rich, interesting, fancy person, preferably with a single, handsome manservant, to sponsor me for a while. Allow me to come live in their fancy estate by the water where I can write a book or two or five. And just flirt with t…
Tonight I realized I've been making things worse for myself lately. There's the stress and all that comes with it from my unemployment situation. But on top of that I'm kicking myself and punishing myself for not doing more with my so-called freedom right now.
I'm not running off on weekend trips. I'm not visiting friends around the country (heck, I'm not even visiting them around the state). I'm not spending every possible minute writing a book. I'm not working out and getting into shape.
I'm not doing anything with all of this free time.
I wish that I was. But ask anyone who is unemployed, sometimes it just doesn't work that way. I still manage to be full time busy, in spite of having nothing traditional to do.
I wish I could find inspiration and creativity and write to my heart's content right now. I have a story in my head that I wish I was more juiced up to write out.
I wish I could just jump in my car and go from friend to friend, visi…

To really love another, one must really love themselves

Our last guest LOVE blogger comes from single dad Brigham. Thanks, B, for the heart-felt post!
When the month of February comes around each year, we all are reminded in some form or another that it is Valentine’s Day and celebration of love whether it is something we individually want to think about or not.It is in our human nature to want love, companionship, intimacy, and affection in our lives to some degree. I have come across many people looking for these things in their lives whether it is the single person, the divorced person, or the married person. For the single person, they are looking for the “one” to fall in love with and share life with. For the divorced person, to hope for and find love again with the person that is right for them. For the married person, to continue to have the lasting love and companionship with their partner. So love is something we all are seeking or longing for, but how can we find love and sustain love with another individual. I believe the key to t…
Today was long coming. I finally had a meltdown. I lost it. I just broke down, screaming, crying, cursing the sky, shaking my fist, and yelling "WHY ME?!?!?!" What did I do to deserve this? Why am I going through this hell of unemployment?
I'm not proud of my behavior today. But I won't apologize for it, or pretend it didn't happen. My feelings have been bottled up for a while now. I've had to ask people to stop talking about certain things in their lives around me, because it hurts to hear them. I do love my friends, and I do want to be happy for them. But sometimes, hearing just one more success someone else has had, while I continue to receive rejection after rejection, just kills me a little more inside. I've "warned" those closest to me that things are tough. But the truth is, there isn't one person who knows just how bad things are.
I've reached out to the few friends that I know can relate. I've tried to be a good friend to ot…

LOVE Guest Blogger Jocelyn - Love Means Never Having to Remember What a Doofus You Once Were

From Guest Blogger Jocelyn of the awesome blog, "We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ." 

I visited my parents last week.  It was my mom's birthday, and I haven't been back to my hometown in nearly two years, so it was time.
There have been some changes in my little home base.  For instance, my parents don't live in the house that I grew up in anymore.  And the city finally put in sidewalks and added a stop light at one of the busiest intersections, bringing the grand total for traffic lights to two.
Other than that the town still looks the same to me.  The streets have the same names, and the small houses still bring back the same memories for me.  My folks now live in my grandparent's old house, which happens to be down the street-just seven houses away-from my childhood home.
When I go home, I can remember everything.  I remember all of my adolescent milestones:  my first friend, first sleep-over, the first time I rode my bike around alone.  I remember my fi…

LOVE- for a complete stranger

Several years ago my friend Joy (better known to the interwebz as Sherpa or Ruby G) introduced me to the blog of a little girl with cancer. Her name was Rebekah. I don't remember how or why Joy and I started reading "cancer kid" blogs, but we did. Within a few months I found myself following the stories of Rebekah, Joshua, Maggie, Gage, and some other little kids. All of these children had something called Ewings Sarcoma, a particularly awful type of cancer. One with a horrible morbidity rate.
My heart got wrapped into their stories. I found myself adding each other names and families into my prayers. When the first of these little children, Maggie, died, my heart broke. But then, amazingly, the other children began to fight the odds. Rebekah and Joshua are 9 years old now and cancer free (but not without significant impairments).
For a while it looked like Gage was going to be a survivor as well. I've prayed for this little boy nightly for six years. But a few mont…

Singles Awareness Day (aka Valentine's Day)

"Valentine's Day is that time of year when married people pretend to be happy, and singles pretend they are not."

I have been blogging for about 7 years now. And apparently I have never once blogged about Valentine's Day before. I double checked today just to be sure. However, I did post this totally awesome picture of my brother once on a Feb 14.

Confession: I am 36 years old and I've never had a good Valentine's Day. In fact, I can only think of two times in history where I was in a committed relationship on V Day. Once was in college, and I was in more than just a committed relationship. I was actually engaged. I worked part-time in a florist that year. I spent days blowing up balloons, and tying them off till my poor little fingers were raw. Not to mention wrapping order after order of roses. I had high hopes that year for a good V Day present.
But oh no.
It was spectacularly bad. Monumentously bad.
First, my significant past other had a night class that …


In Arabic there is a very popular phrase, "Inshallah." It means "God willing." It is used far more in Arabic, than the expression "God willing" is used in English. Your kid is about to climb a dangerous tall ladder? You don't yell for him to come down. You just mutter, "Inshallah, he will make it down alive." Inshallah is used for everything.
Today I turned in my Peace Corps medical papers. Inshallah, everything was turned in correctly. According to the PC, only 15% of applicants get it right the first time and have no follow ups.
Inshallah, I will be one of them.
But the doctor who signed off on my paperwork today didn't give me much hope that I would be. In fact, he made me feel like a defective check engine light.
Yes, a check engine light.
My car has a defective check engine light. For no real reason it pops on if you drive the car for more than three straight hours at a high speed. (Like I did today.) And then if you take it throug…

Show me the love!

I wrote that little column I write on single life and dating this week. This week's topic? Online MEETING, and don't call it dating. Comments on the site are moderated, and the editors are out of town. So I'm secretly enjoying not seeing my comments yet. I know they will get read and approved in a few days, but until then, it is nice not knowing how many people disagree with me.
In other news, I had a legendary sleepwalking experience this week. This time I managed to get up, find my laptop, turn it on, type in my password on a broken keyboard, log in to a website, look someone up, and send them an email - all in my sleep! The best part? The email I sent was amazingly coherent and logical. And the message my subconscious needed to send was, "I was right and you were wrong." I'm pretty sure that says something about me, but I'm not going to dwell too much on what.  Now, I need your help and a little love. Can you help a girl out? Pretty please?! I have these …

Show me the love!

I wrote that little column I write on single life and dating this week. This week's topic? Online MEETING, and don't call it dating. Comments on the site are moderated, and the editors are out of town. So I'm secretly enjoying not seeing my comments yet. I know they will get read and approved in a few days, but until then, it is nice not knowing how many people disagree with me.
In other news, I had a legendary sleepwalking experience this week. This time I managed to get up, find my laptop, turn it on, type in my password on a broken keyboard, log in to a website, look someone up, and send them an email - all in my sleep! The best part? The email I sent was amazingly coherent and logical. And the message my subconscious needed to send was, "I was right and you were wrong." I'm pretty sure that says something about me, but I'm not going to dwell too much on what.  Now, I need your help and a little love. Can you help a girl out? Pretty please?! I have these …

Love for Home

When things get to be too rough, challenging, discouraging, whatever, I close my eyes and think of my little home back in Lehi, Utah. I loved the little house I made a home. I worked hard to make a strange little box my home. I decorated, gardened, and spent every last cent on furnishing my home the way I wanted it to be. I have no regrets.
Home these days is a foreign concept to me. It is a fleeting dream, something I want to have back, but it is just beyond my reach. Home is supposed to be a place of love, familiarity, comfort, and more. It is where you feel at ease, and recognize your surroundings. But lately I haven't had that.
My parents live in a country far, far away. I live in someone else's house, surrounded by their belongings. Aside from my clothes, and a blanket on the bed, the only other thing in here that is mine is a TV. My beloved white board, where I create and brainstorm, sits on the floor beside my chair. I can't hang it on the walls, because this is so…

Something not about love at all, just about me

Ever since the day after Christmas I have been on a diet. I had heard about the Ideal Protein Diet from a few friends in Utah, who had been doing it quite successfully. As you may recall, I have tried the HCG diet very successfully in the past. However, my last 2 attempts at HCG resulted in nearly no weight loss whatsoever. Whatever it is that makes that diet work so well seems to have worn off on me. So I quite willingly tried Ideal Protein. To describe the diet, it is like Jenny Craig meets Atkins meets HCG. You buy their pre-packaged foods, and supplement with foods nearly identical to HCG foods. This diet is all about finding the appropriate level of protein for you and your body.  I have been very faithfully on the diet for 6 weeks, ending today. I lost exactly 20 lbs. I wanted to continue on the diet for another 3-4 weeks, so I could hit my goal of 30 lbs, but unfortunately this is my last week to receive unemployment benefits. I just can't keep paying for the diet. I'll …

LOVE- comes in all shapes and sizes - Guest Blogger Ozy Mum

Another Guest Blogger on LOVE- a truly unique and different story today!

I love driving along the road with the wind in my hair, singing at the top of my voice to Foreigner's, "I wanna know what love is .. " . Apart from liking the song, I love that whilst my mouth is busy singing the words, my brain is busy asking " Do I really know what love is? "  
This is a question that frequently haunts my thoughts.  As a little girl, dreaming of white knights and honeymoons in Switzerland, I only thought of love as being what I needed in my childhood cocoon and, what seemed like an eternity away, that MAN who would sweep me of my feet and declare undying love for me and ME only ! .  My Dad's bear hugs when the whole world was against me (more likely my Mum telling me off !), a homemade biscuit when walking into an empty house after school, a book that I could lose myself in and dancing were the loves that I knew I could count on.  Later, when a week after my 14th birth…

LOVE- the furry family members

As I type this the love of my life, a big black Australian shepherd dog named Kaya, is sleeping beside me, taking up way more of the bed than statistically speaking a 60 lb dog should. But that's okay. Because after last night's sad and heartbreaking events, I'm more than happy to spoil Miss Kaya and let her know I love her.

Last night we very unexpectedly had to put down my sister's beloved horse, Streaker. Streak has been in the family for about 7 years now I think. He was a rescue horse, saved from the glue factory, many years ago. But under my sister Stephanie's love and attention, he's flourished into her "Noble Steed."
Some pets are not just simple little furry creatures meant to keep the mouse population down, or to intimidate squirrels and rabbits from the garden. Some pets are members of the family. They look up at you with their big brown eyes full of adoration because you, their very special human, provide shelter, food, and belly rubs for …

LOVE Guest Blogger Ginny - To know love you first my know yourself.

Today's LOVE guest writer is my cousin, Ginny. She's a country wife and mother of three. Her blog is "A Peaceful Way," where she talks about learning to parent in a more loving and peaceful way to her three high spirited children.

Marriage is not something I can speak about without first closing my eyes, and remembering the girl I used to be.  My father was very critical of falseness. He always told me to just be myself.  But I never knew who I was, or worse, deep down I was afraid that the self my real self was, was worthless, boring, and not worth true friendship or love.
I muddled through my life, trying on one personality after another, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.The rare times that I relaxed and let my hair down, I didn't like me, and no one else did either. I was depressing and over-analytical. I would quickly stuff that person back away, and put on my false face again so at least someone would be my friend again.
I went through pain, lots of pain, a…

Love Guest Blogger Lindsey - "Could I love an adopted child as much as a biological one?

For our first LOVE guest blogger, I am thrilled to bring you one of my favorite bloggers and "old" friends, Lindsey. Lindsey is the fabulous voice behind "the r house" blog. She is also an adoption advocate. Every day she bares her soul and puts herself out there educating the world about the joys and blessings of adoption. I have loved her for years (since she was 12!) and love her that much more for living a life worth talking about now. 

Could I love an adopted child as much as a biological one? By Lindsey Redfern,

I am married to the love of my life and the most hysterically funny man I know. He is my favorite Valentine.