I have sneezed an amazing number of times today.
Really, it is quite impressive.
At some point in the day (after taking claritin, sudafed, and some other drug ending in -phed to no avail) I started making up my own lyrics to Smash Mouth's popular old hit "Hey Now."
Would you like to hear them?
Somebody once told me the sneeze is gonna hurt me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
Which is better than up her no-ose
Well the sneezes start coming and they don't stop coming
I don't know the words and I hit the ground running
Did it make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart and your brain goes numb
So much to do so much to sneeze
If only I could stop with the snee-eze
You'll never know if you don't go
But I think my head is about to blow
Hey now you're an All Star, get your game on - go sneeze
Hey now you're a Rock Star, get the show on - get sneeze
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
That's all I've got so far.
I never said they were good lyrics.
You know what's a funny word?
Want to guess how many benadryl I took an hour ago?
Who's got three thumbs and is feeling a little loopy?
Pardon me, I have to go sneeze again.