Why this video? I say why not this video? I had TMBG stuck in my head today, but as it turns out there is no official video for the song I was thinking about. So I picked this one instead (official video from TMBG, who go by the ParticleMen on YouTube). And really, when is the Flood album not appropriate?
Today I came close to tears. It was just a rough day for me, nothing out of the ordinary, just rough. You know, unemployed/underemployed rough, lack of money rough, a little too by myself rough, and feeling inadequate to accomplish some challenges in front of me.
And then to top it all off, a friend of mine had something good happen for her. Normally I could have felt happy for her. And I know I should have. But mostly I just resented that she has a job, a husband, cute kids, and things are going really well for her. In comparison, I was struggling to be grateful for my minimum wage job working holiday retail.
Why does she get to be happy? Why is something good happening for her? What did she ever do to deserve this? When is it my turn? How much more patient do I have to be? Stomp my foot and pout! I want it to be my turn to be happy now! Dang it!
But I caught my self. I remembered there is more going on in my life than I can ever explain. There are great blessings everywhere, if we stop and just recognize them. I did get to enjoy a tremendous accomplishment today. Certainly something I never thought I would do! And I am very happy about it. I got a compliment at the store about how good I am with making customers happy. I wondered how I was ever going to have the time and gas money to drive over to someone's house to pick up something from them today. But when I got home from work I found it sitting on my front porch. Maybe that awesome job in another state hasn't called me back again like they said they would. But a freelance job turned into a great situation today. And I did all the work for that job while still in bed this morning before I even got up and brushed my teeth.
I can be happy if I want to. I just have to remember to recognize my blessings, and stop getting sad when my life doesn't turn out as I had attempted to plan it.