Monday, December 05, 2011

The stuff dreams are made of

My old living room, before I repainted the wood furniture and added an area rug.




There are days where I miss my old life so much it hurts. I just close my eyes and walk through my old house, room by room, and step by step, and look at everything all over again. I worked so hard to make that house my own and get every detail just right. I miss it so much.
My stuff has been in storage for nearly 18 months now. I never thought it would be so long before I would be reunited with my furniture. Every once in a while I think of a pair of very trendy boots that must have been left in storage. (I can't find them here, which makes no sense, because I don't know why I would have put them in storage.) I only got to wear my cute boots once before putting them in storage. They are so overly trendy that I wonder if they will be completely out of style and ridiculous by the time I get them back someday?
I know I won't be unemployed and living in Roanoke forever. Today I realized that I have very few happy memories of Roanoke. Not because good things haven't happened here, but because ever since I arrived I have been trying to leave. I haven't put down any roots, or made many connections. I'm just always trying to stay uncommitted and free, because you never know when I'll finally get a job and leave again.
Today was a simple and easy day. My shift at the mall got cut at the last minute. So I came home and worked on my Swing State Voter blog, and knitted some hats while watching movies. I know someday I'll have a full-time job again and dream of the day where I can just sit on my bed and watch Netflix and knit for charity all day. I try to enjoy what I have and be grateful for these opportunities.
But it is nice to escape back to my old life in my memories once in a while. It is nice to remember that I was once a respected professional, who published articles in her field, lived in a big pretty house, and had nice things. I even had trendy boots and bought trivial things like matching coasters for my kitchen table. I vaguely recall that girl, but it has been so long since I have seen her she feels like a figment of my imagination now. But it is nice to visit her in my memories on occasion. 

2 comments:

  1. Oh hon, that really does stink.
    Years ago, I was in the same position - in a place that I was planning to leave as soon as I got there. It took some time but I finally decided to do the things I wanted to do... the commitments, the obligations etc... almost because I thought if I made the commitments, odds were... the opportunity to leave would obviously present itself. And it did! That's how my life works!

    Meanwhile... I never saw that coffee table before! It's FANTASTIC!!!
    Sorry, that probably doesn't make you feel better... but it is a compliment!

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  2. Anonymous7:47 AM

    It might be a good idea to Feng Shui. Get rid of the furniture if you are paying to store it. Don't be afraid of starting over. The furniture won't be in style forever. You will make enough money to replace it. Just have faith that the universe will provide.

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