Sunday, January 01, 2012

Bring it on, 2012!

It is not easy to take a self-portrait on your webcam while flat on your back. Especially without creating 20 extra, unflattering chins.
Happy New Year Y'all!
This greeting comes to you from flat on my back, down on my luck, but in no way discouraged. A month of working retail (and then possibly getting injured or not helped enough from an overaggressive massage) has rendered me pathetic. About halfway through church today my back started to hurt so bad I couldn't sit up for another minute. I came home to my therapeutic pillow, heating pad, ice pack, and Advil, and here I remain.
Just what I need- an injury on top of the sinus infection that refused to die, no discernible income, and the rest of life's ills. But you know what? I don't care. I could whine and complain and really make a case for how awful 2011 was, but really, I don't want to. I chose to see 2011 as a great experience in my life. I really got to lose myself in service to others in ways I've never been able to before. At times it is true that I felt discouraged that I couldn't serve others more because I am held back financially. And I am held  back by my wallet in pursuing most of my personal ambitions as well. But I don't care.
I know that more than anything I was blessed in 2011. I was allowed to help and serve others, and there is nothing I love to do more. I know that many people made several sacrifices to help me out. I have lost track of how many miracles saved my days.
I was blessed.
Yes, this year was harder than I ever could have imagined. And I know there are plenty of optimists out there who don't know better than to say that 2012 has to be better for me. But I've learned and accepted that sometimes life doesn't get better or any easier. I know that I probably can't get much worse off than I am right at this exact moment. But that is okay. I've survived this far, and I'll survive again.
So bring it on 2012, let's do this thing.

(And then I attempted to try an overcome my crooked smile. It isn't physically possible. I accept this defeat and move on.)

if you don't know me, this one may look normal. you have no idea how completely uncomfortable it was to hold my face in that position.

The left side is always going to show more lower teeth, and the right side is always going to be smaller and go up. And I will probably never have real dimples, just fat creases. And I'm okay with that.

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