I feel like a pretty crappy human being today. Someone yelled at me and insulted me pretty good this morning. I didn't do a good enough job on something I had worked hard on. I haven't finished all of my 'must-do' items in several days. There's a project I've been working on for charity sitting in the corner that hasn't been touched in weeks. I feel like I'm not doing enough to serve others lately. My butt is gigantic and was shown on TV last night, making me feel really insecure about my body image. Someone ever so impolitely let me know that it isn't the dress that is making me look fat- words that hurt considering I've been dieting diligently for two months now. I talk too much. I'm opinionated. And I haven't achieved any major life goals in a while. In other words, today I feel like I suck.
But today things were also put into perspective for me. I learned about two horrible and sad things happening to friends. Both are facing horrible circumstances that are just too much to talk about here (without their permission). My heart is breaking for them in more ways than I thought it could. I may feel like my life sucks, but then what are my problems compared to theirs? And while I have heard them cry in pain, I have not heard them cry in complaint. And those are two very different things.
One of the insults I received today came from someone who misunderstood me. I had "cried in pain" to this person, who took it as a "cry in complaint." Whether I did not make that clear, or the other person was indifferent to my plight, I do not know. This morning one of the two friends said something online that I perceived to be a "cry in complaint." (Or a cry for attention.) I was annoyed and ignored it. (As compared to some people, I don't take it upon me to correct others in these situations.) But by the end of the day I had learned the rest of the situation and felt terrible for my earlier thoughts. This person was truly crying in pain, and needs love and attention.
I can't help but wonder how many people are crying in pain, but we choose to ignore it? And how many people are afraid to ask for help or cry in pain because they are dismissed as complaints? How often am I ignoring real cries of pain because I can't hear them amidst all of the complaints?
Tonight I will pray harder for my friends. I'll pick up my charity work and make it a priority to finish it. And tomorrow, I'll listen better for the cries of pain.