Last night my cousin K-A and I went out for a little girl talk and cousin time. We had many things to catch up on, including lots of major family events coming up soon. Our great aunt passed away last week, and her funeral will be next weekend. This will not be a sad funeral, but a happy one. She was quite old and ill, and missed her husband who passed away many years ago. Our conversation turned to laughter as we talked about everything and anything (which is how our great aunt would want it). Eventually she said, "Is it bad that I look forward to funerals because they always turn into fun family reunions?"
The more I think about it, the more I realize she is right. While I hate funerals, and I do truly hate them, (I have been to way too many of them), I can't help but agree with her. Sometimes the "not sad" funerals really are just wonderful days. I love getting to see all of my cousins at an event where we are all just there to love and support each other.
But before my aunt's funeral I will also attend my friend's funeral. And while I will try to be happy she isn't sick anymore, it will be a sad funeral. My heart is just completely broken for her. This will be the third (and fourth) funeral I will attend at Easter time. Several years ago one of my best friends died on Easter morning. I admittedly have not been a big fan of the holiday ever since. It just brings up too many emotions for me.
This whole month will be full of emotional life events- funerals, births, and a wedding. That's a lot of conflicting emotions to process at the same time! There's a loud voice in my head saying, "Yes, but it is also Easter, and the peace that comes from the Gospel. Let that be the overriding emotion!" And I want it to. I will try very hard to let that be the focus- my knowledge of the gift of the Resurrection, knowledge of the Gospel, Atonement, and the blessings that come from knowing and accepting that I am a Child of God.