Saturday, May 19, 2012

When I Prefer Boredom Over Men

Other things that happen when I get bored- random pictures like this!

I very rarely talk about dating or men around here anymore, because I very rarely have an experience with either category. Which may just be why what happened tonight intrigued me so much.
I've had "wrong number" texts plenty of times recently, and I've ignored all of them. (Seriously- one dude in Utah cannot get what I hope is no longer his girlfriend's number straight. The strange drunk texts he sends her in the middle of the night, that come to me instead, are flat out disturbing!)

So here is what happened tonight.
I got a picture text from a number I didn't recognize. But it has a local Roanoke area code and prefix. So I figured it must be someone I know but never added to my phone book. The picture is of a local ballpark and team. I only know this because of the signage in the background. I've never been there, and in spite of liking baseball, have never attended a game either. No identifiable person in the picture. The text itself said, "Look familiar? I'm in Salem. Gotta love the beer and baseball combo! Good times!"
(Salem is where the stadium is located.)
For a minute I tried to figure out who sent it without having to ask. But I have no record of the number in my phone. I figured it must be a wrong number. But then I realized, I have a Utah number, not a VA number. What are the odds of someone right here in my town accidentally putting in a wrong number and getting me? Not very likely. So I Googled the number and got nothing.
I decided obviously someone I have met accidentally sent me the picture. But I've never been to that place, so no, it isn't familiar.
But then something else hits me- I only know Mormons locally. (A sad but true fact. I really don't know one non-Mormon in this small town.) So again, that is an even stranger message to send even if it isn't to me. What Mormon do I know that would make a joke about beer and baseball?
So I texted the random number back and chalked it up to a bizarre wrong number. I just said, "Who is this?" and figured the person would figure out they had texted the wrong person.
But then after a few minutes of boredom I decided to put the phone number into Facebook. This technique has never actually worked for me before, but lo and behold, it worked this time. A guy named Ed popped up. And he has not locked down one tiny thing on his profile. (Why do people do that?) 
We have no friends in common. He doesn't actually live in Roanoke or Salem, but in Blacksburg about an hour away. I only sort of know one person who lives in Blacksburg- a guy I met during my last foray into online "dating" nearly two years ago. Except that I have never met him. We exchanged a few emails, a call or two, and a few texts. 
I lost interest in him after he professed to be a born again Christian, and yet, in spite of the fact that he claims he goes to church weekly, and goes to a Bible study class weekly, was absolutely shocked when I had to explain to him that "no adultery" meant ALL sex outside of marriage, and not just cheating on a spouse. He claimed he had never heard of such a thing before, and really didn't see how pre-marital sex was a sin. (I didn't believe much he said after that.)
Other turn offs included his Cheetos addiction and martial arts obsession. But more than that, the lengthy emails he sent to me about martial arts. No thank you.
Last but not least, there was one other tiny turn off that could not be ignored- his name. I know, it is petty. But it is really hard to get past his name- Melvin. Melvin the Martial Arts Guy.
So you can only imagine my surprise when I glance through Ed's pictures, and he turns out to be Melvin.
Hmm...
A few minutes later he replied to my question text. First with "Edward!!" and then, unprovoked, a second text, "I'm with my dude though so unfortunately I gotta sober up. Dern it."
(Finding out he was a single dad who had never been married was what lead to the sex conversation.)
So this guy I have never met is texting me from inside of my town to let me know he's drunk at a baseball game with his son, and suddenly is using a different name, after 2 years possibly of no contact?
Normally something I would just delete and forget.
But I was just bored enough tonight that I wrote this post instead.
And no, I have no intention of replying to him or picking things back up with him. If I wasn't already not interested at all, finding out he lied about his name, and gets drunk around his son, pretty much sealed the deal on that one. 
There are some nights I don't mind that I was bored and not out meeting completely worthless men.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:51 AM

    Honestly though, most religious people outside of the LDS church don't consider sex a sin. Or getting drunk at a baseball game. Just like most Mormons don't realize that their diet coke addiction is harmful. It doesn't make them worthless. Just not your type. You might have better luck with a dating coach or hiring a matchmaker. Or just enjoy the solitude. Dating isn't for everyone.

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  2. Oh sister friend... do I know how you feel. the pickings are slim indeed! What's with changing his name? clearly trying to hide something or from someone... or probably trying to open some dating doors after being rejected as Melvin.

    and to Anonymous... yes most Christians (at least Catholics and Mormons) know that sex outside of marriage is a sin. They've at least heard it.
    And I'll stick up for Erin Ann some more... most normal people don't get drunk in front of their kids. I for one, never saw my parents even tipsy! Not even once. And yes, I saw them drink... but parents are supposed to set an example of control for their children.

    Erin, I think this comment may be the same person who suggested that I try a dating coach too. Whatevs.

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