Monday, October 29, 2012

Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes

For the past few road trips I have been listening to "Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes: The Ultimate Guide to the Opposite Sex" on CD. (My local library has a great books on CD collection.) I really like this book!
Here's the description from Amazon- 
Do you know the top seven things men do that drive women nuts? Or the real reason women cry more than men do? What are men really looking for in a woman—both at first sight and for the long-term? These are only the starting points for Barbara and Allan Pease as they discuss the very real—and often very funny—differences between the sexes.
Why Men Don’t Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes takes a look at some of the issues that have confused men and women for centuries. Using new findings on the brain, studies of social changes, evolutionary biology, and psychology, the Peases teach you how to make the most of your relationships—or at least begin to understand where your partner is coming from.
They help women understand why men avoid commitment, what drives them to lie, and how to decode male speech to find out what they are really saying. They explain to men why women nag, how they use emotional blackmail, and how to understand (and take advantage of!)  the top-secret scoring system all women apply.  They also dish about the top turn-ons--and turn-offs--for both sexes. Laced with their trademark humor, Why Men Don’t Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes addresses a host of nitty-gritty battlegrounds as well, from channel surfing and toilet seats to shopping and communication. 
This book is less "advice" and more just explanations. I wouldn't recommend it as an advice book on how to work on relationships. It is more research and science based than most books about the sexes. It is humorous enough that you barely notice how research based it is.
One of the lower key funny parts about it is unintentional. Like I said, I'm listening to the audiobook. The book was written by 2 Australians who live in England. The book is peppered with Australian and British expressions. But the audiobook is narrated by 2 actors with American accents. There's something slightly odd about Americans referring to the loo, mates, and wankers.
I've learned a lot why men and women think and act in certain ways from a sociological and biological standpoint- especially about how and why women multi-task, and men are more "single track." (I'm assuming it is a British v. American thing to say "multi-track" v. "multi-task." I've noticed it several times in the book.) It explained it in terms of professional communication for women in a way I had never thought of it before. They talk about how men have a difficult time understanding women when they give presentations. Women are able to "jump tracks" back and forth with ease. Men cannot. Usually in a professional event, the presenter sticks to an outline. But if and when women leave the outline, (or if, ahem, like me, they wrote the outline themselves and allow it to jump between details) it can confuse men. Women have less success in presentations to men because men do not follow as well. However, other women will follow much better. I had never thought about this before, but it helped me recognize instances of this in the past. (And will help me in the future.)
One other interesting thing I learned- (and forgive me, I don't have the exact numbers since I am listening and not looking at the printed word) women use multiple verbal cues when they speak that indicate a "change of track" or subject change. Men do not "hear" or recognize all of the cues. The audio narration read a paragraph with verbal cues the way a woman said it and how another woman would hear it. No problem. Made perfectly good sense to me. And then they read it without the cues that men don't hear. It made no sense. It was really fascinating! I had never heard about this before. But it all made a lot of sense!
I highly recommend this book. It isn't a difficult or boring read. It is enjoyable and rather fun. 

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