Saturday, March 02, 2013

Bad Hair Day (she said with a sad little laugh)

Part of me feels that I have to explain to you, Gentle Reader, that it is significant that at the end of this day I choose to laugh at myself. It was a strange day. A day that bordered on awful, but I choose to stay on the "laugh at myself" side of that borderline.

The following story is not WHY I had a bad day. It's just one of those things.

Backstory: I recently got another Brazilian Blowout. (Using this Keratin Treatment.) I have thick, crazy, bushy blonde hair. It never dries. It can take days for my hair to dry naturally. But with the keratin treatment, my hair can air dry in about half an hour.

I was running late for a doctor's appointment today and absolutely had to take a shower before I left. I rushed as fast as possible, but I was still not fast enough. There wasn't time to blow-dry my hair. I can let my hair air-dry with the keratin treatment in effect, but it doesn't look great. It still needs some styling. I prefer to blow-dry it. But there was no time for that, so I only quickly dried my bangs so that they would be going in a somewhat uniform direction.

I grabbed a ponytail elastic/holder with the intent of putting my hair up, and ran to the car with dripping wet hair. I got the bright idea in the car to aim the heater vents directly at my head to help dry my hair. After a few minutes I realized my hair was actually getting dry in the front with the heat blowing on it. So I leaned over (while driving) and tried to fluff my hair out so it would dry in the back and in the under layers.

By the time I got to the doctor's (10 minutes later), my hair was about 90% dry. For someone with hair as thick and long as mine, this is nothing short of a miracle. (Thank you keratin treatment!)

The doctor made a funny comment about how I wasn't looking good. I kinda shrugged it off and didn't think much of it. I forgot to bring the ponytail holder in with me, so my hair was still down.

It was a short appointment and I was starving, so I went straight to lunch at a deli. I got a meatball sub, sat down, and relaxed for a bit. A fairly decent looking came in. I caught him looking at me. I may have smiled back a little bit. I didn't put too much effort into it. Like I said, I was having a rough day and really I was just there to unwind and let it all go.

I ate my very messy meatball sub in peace. A few meatballs tried to escape the sub, and I picked them up and ate them with my fingers. I noticed the kinda cute guy looking at me, but figured he was just jealous of the awesome sub.

From there I went to the grocery store.  I thought it was odd that a man from church didn't seem to recognize me. I smiled at him but he looked back at me weird.

Whatever. Like I said, it was a strange day for other reasons already.

And then another man acted really strange, cutting me off to butt in front of me in the pharmacy line. It was so uncalled for. Just... odd.

I checked out and went home. I put the food away. I talked to the missionaries (that live in my basement) from the top of the stairs without actually seeing them.

And then, 4 hours and 20 minutes after I had left the house, (how do I know this? because i was running late to get in the shower/go to my appointment because i was on the phone. apparently i was in such a rush that I didn't hang up the phone (landline) properly, and it had a busy signal/off the hook beeping in my room. When I hung it up I noticed the timer said 4:20.) I walked into my bathroom and saw myself in the mirror for the first time all day. 

Oy vey.

1. I had no idea that my white sweater was not quite as opaque as it used to be. White sweater, white undershirt, not a white bra. And not see-thru in a sexy way. But as in a stupid and clueless way, like who wears an ugly brown bra under a white sweater?

2. I had walked around thinking my hair looked like this - (actual picture of the back of my head after my first Brazilian Blowout)-

But it looked more like this-

I can't regret that there is no actual picture of how bad it looked. But to be honest, take out the green face and the goatee in the picture above, and the hair is actually pretty spot on. The top part of my head was still a little bit damp, so the hair was flat on my head. Except for thousands of little flyaway bits that stuck out everywhere.

The bottom half of my hair was a frizzy mess. Remember that fluffing I did in front of the heater? One side of my head was "fluffed" a lot more than the other. And there was a definite kink on the left side where the seatbelt goes over my shoulder. Bi-level, fluffed hair. Not exactly a sexy look.

I didn't have on any makeup. I'm taking an antibiotic that keeps me feeling fairly queasy (see: doctor's appointment above). I was pale and sickly looking.

With  scary schizo hair.

And a see-thru sweater.

It is not a stretch to say I looked like a meth addict.

Suddenly I understand why the guy was so odd to me at the pharmacy counter.

And why the EMT at the deli was keeping a close eye on me.

And why the man from church didn't recognize me. (I barely recognized me.)

And why the doctor commented on how bad I looked.

And that pretty much sums up the oddities of this day. And all I can say is, I'm glad I can laugh about it now.

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