This past weekend was a large mid-singles conference (ages 31-45 yrs old) hosted by my local church congregation. There were 340ish singles in attendance. Approximately 80 were male. 4:1 odds.
I was not a true attendant at the conference. I volunteered at a few of the activities, and participated in a few portions. I preferred to be an observer rather than a participator this time around. Consider me Doctor Who in the middle of a regeneration. It's not a good time to touch the Doctor or upset the delicate process.
Not unlike the Doctor, I need some alone time, space to think, and new companions. Hence the limited participation.
And not unlike the Doctor, sometimes I like to just sit and watch people, rather than be one with the people.
A few days before the conference a male friend told me he was attending because conferences "always give him hope" that there are good women out there and maybe he'll meet Mrs. Right someday. I laughed and said I always feel the exact opposite when I leave conferences. With 4:1 odds (and that's only if all the men that registered attend every event), I usually leave wondering what the point to it all ever is.
Events such as these require a certain amount of go-getter-ness and charisma that I lack. Actually, I don't lack it. I have been that go-getter girl in dating, and it has backfired on me. every.time. And made me wish I had never made the first move.
None of this is a commentary on whether or not the conference was well produced. I think they did an excellent job.
But it all makes me wonder if events like this turn meeting and dating into too much of a competition? I look around at all of these beautiful women looking their best, sitting around a table in groups of 5-8, with one man in the middle. And I mostly feel bad for the women. It's not that the men who are there are not quality material. But no man has enough charisma to make that many women feel special at once. It must be nice to be that one guy sitting in the middle.
But back to me.
For the time being I'm happy to be out of commission, regenerating into someone new. Gain from experiences of past, take them with you, and emerge with a new face. More Doctor Who regeneration.
I'm probably not making any sense. Just rambling on incoherently as I try my hardest to not say too much, and yet share what's on my mind. Sorry about that. Not really sure what my point is.