Sunday, November 03, 2013

You Gotta Lock That Down

So my high school 20th class reunion was great. Yada yada. There are pictures and comments all over Facebook. Really, I did have a wonderful time. It was all the usual things you hear about 20th reunions- surreal, awesome, crazy, etc.

Let's stick with the story of things I normally talk about on this blog. Like dating and men.

My reunion was quite surreal for me because of the men. I'm not used to having a lot of men hit on me. It's just not something that has ever happened before. So to have multiple men give me their cards and suggest we go out sometime was... bizarre.

The comments, compliments, and interests from men (most of whom I did not actually know in high school) was just not normal. It was incredibly flattering and ego-boosting. I'm just really not used to such behaviors.

It got me to thinking. Why has this sort of thing never, not once, happened to me with Mormon guys?

I have some theories.

Several men gave me their numbers or cards. This is not uncommon with non-Mormon guys. They give you their card, and ask for yours. The way I see it, they give you their number, rather than ask you out, or ask for your number. If you are interested, you call. If you are not, it saves them the hassle of trying to play the games of figuring out if you were hard to reach, just being polite, playing hard to get, etc. Makes perfectly good sense to me.

Mormon guys? I've never seen this technique in play. (I think they should adopt it.)

Another popular theory I hear about Mormon men, (and I absolutely agree with), particularly in singles wards, is that Mormon men don't have the pressure of wondering how/when they will ever see the woman again. A guy "in the wild" (a bar, a party, store, etc.,) never know if/when they may encounter her again. So they dive into conversations and make a move faster. But a guy in a singles ward, knows the girl will be back the next week. There will always be more places and ways to see her. The get-to-know-you stuff that would take the first 5 dates with a non-Mormon, are covered in non-committal, hallway conversation without ever having to make it clear whether or not you are interested, with someone from church.

Because Mormon guys can always rely on the expectation that they will see the girl again, they have little to no incentive to "lock that down" with the girl. When a guy meets a girl "in the wild," he is far more motivated to do what it takes to "lock that down."


  1. Anonymous7:59 PM

    awesome! Now you have options and can "lock that down." I'm happy to hear that the reunion was so great for you.

  2. I also graduated in '93 and was the only unmarried single at my 20th reunion. Unfortunately for me I graduated from "Hicksville Southern Utah High School" so all the men who attended were already taken and no one tried to hit on me. Guess there's something to be said for the benefits of alcohol at any social event outside Utah. I still had fun, though. I'm really enjoying your writing keep posting!


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