As per custom, it is Sunday night, and I'm sitting around depressed thinking about men and relationships.
Here's a little scenario I've been mulling about in my mind-
A few weeks ago I had a strange experience. I went to a ward party where I was the invisible woman. I tried to talk to a few people, and spent a few minutes with one good guy friend. I noticed while he and I were standing up and talking that a line of girls formed up nearby. Nothing formal. Not a straight line. But little smatterings of girls here and there all watching us talk.
After a few minutes it hit me that they were all lining up politely, waiting for their chance to talk to this guy. He's one of the good ones- good job, good looking, good personality. I have no doubt that there are several girls with unrequited crushes on him.
I teased him about it, and he denied it. But it was obvious to me what was happening. The odds were about 8 girls to every guy. And that's just how it works- you have to "line up" or stand politely nearby and wait for a break in the conversation so you can jump in and talk to the good guys.
I left the ward party and went to the grocery store where I got hit on by 3 different men. One even offered to take my groceries to the car for me. A random guy just struck up a conversation with me about coconut shrimp.
It was a completely opposite experience from the one I had at the church party. I had gone from completely invisible and a total nobody, to guys making up pick up lines involving cereal boxes to talk to me.
Nothing about my personality, looks, outfit, demeanor, etc, had changed from the party to the grocery store. If anything I was grumpier at the store after the let-down of a ward party.
Today as I was looking around church, I had another one of those same experiences. After sacrament meeting was over I looked around for someone interesting to talk to. Yet again I spotted the huddles of women around the one sole good guy. I wanted to say hi to the same guy friend above, but there was a line of women nearby. I didn't bother to get in line. I was boring and went to class. I left church yet again having spoken only to one friend and feeling mostly invisible.
I got home from church and walked the dog. And immediately some guy walking to his car started chatting me up. Again I went from invisible to most popular with nothing more than a set change.
The longer I live, the more I think that the problem is that a Mormon guy meets a girl at church, and never has to worry that he might not see her again. He figures he can play it safe and interact with her at church a dozen times before "risking" picking her out of the pack for one-on-one time.
Whereas a guy in a store, on the street, or in a bar, he always thinks that he might not see the girl again. He's got to give her the full treatment and ask her out immediately, or it may never happen. It's the exact opposite of these Mormon guys who can literally stand in one place while the girls queue up for his attention. (Note: I know there is a guy just waiting to jump on this and complain that it doesn't happen to him like that. Let me add this disclaimer, I didn't say the guy likes the girls in his line. But that doesn't mean there isn't a line.)
So I'm me. You know I don't like to just sit and whine about it.
What can be done to help this situation? Is it just always going to be this way? Or is there something that can be done/taught to make it better or to change things? I'm lost.
I'll be really disappointed on my 40th birthday if my friends don't all give me cats.