Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Trekking On

The summer is flying by all too quickly for me. Last week was the youth pioneer trek reenactment. We took 61 teenagers out into the mountains and woods and pushed handcarts through the rain, heat, bugs, and mud. Trust me when I say we don't do this for the fun. It's all about the "experience."
It's hard work and it's hard on the body. But it is good for the soul.
I've always loved camping and hiking, so it isn't the worst thing in the world for me. I prepared myself physically by walking nearly 5 miles almost every day for 6 weeks in advance. I never suffered from a lack of stamina. (I was so proud of myself!) And my body held up pretty well. After the fact though, oh my word!, it hurts. The stiffness and soreness of walking 18 miles, and sleeping on the ground under a tarp in the rain does take some recovery. (So sore!!)
"Before" with 3 of my 4 Baby Ducks that went 
After - much stinkier, much dirtier, but still smiling
 About 2 weeks ago I had to make the very tough, very adult decision to not go to Europe with Clog America. If I had gone, I would have left today to fly to Zurich. It is breaking my heart to not be there. And it kills me a little inside each time I see a picture one of them posts from their trip.
It was a tough decision to make. I'm still trying to convince myself it was the right call. I couldn't justify going to Europe for 20 days and spending what money I have, when I don't know how long it will be until I have reliable income again. I'm heartbroken, but what can you do?

Settling into my life in Roanoke has been rough ride. Learning to live with my parents for the first time in 20 years has its ups and downs. Living with sister missionaries again has had its ups and downs. Learning to be someone's child, while also being the YW president, start my own business, write a book, and be the unofficial "third companion" to the missionaries has not been easy for me. Just learning how to balance being myself (an adult woman used to living on her own) and being someone's child has been tough. Juggling so many roles, not one of which I asked for or wanted, has really taken its toll on me.

But I'm happy enough. Things are okay. I could still really use a job, or for my business to come together and take off. Just having a routine and semblance of a normal life would be welcome at this point.

Bear with me. (Bare? Bear? I can never remember.) It's going to be a rocky road before it's a smooth one.

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