There have been a few things going on in my life lately that I am not at liberty to really discuss or reveal. They have been of an interpersonal relationship, miscommunications, accusations, and short temper nature. And it has really started to take its toll on me.
I feel like I spend much of my time walking on eggshells around certain people. I have to be on constant guard regarding what I say or do. And I have to be hyper-vigilant that I don't do anything that someone could take out of context to use against me.
It has been an uncomfortable and unhappy period in my life. Just to add salt to the wound, it is happening during what I had expected to be a fairly happy and enjoyable period. I never could have seen this coming or have been prepared for it. It's just one of those unexpected life twists that come and rock your entire world, possibly changing your course forever.
I wish I could explain more or give details. But I have no doubt that the person it involves would find the details and somehow use it against me, even if I only spoke straight facts with no emotion or bias.
I have had to work harder than I ever have before in my life to control my emotions and not react to a situation. It breaks my heart that we are all having to go through this. It all seems so unnecessary. I have learned I have levels of patience I never before imagined I had. And I have had to rely on faith in a way I never have needed to before.
I was struck this week with a new thought. In 2 Nephi 2:11 it reads, "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things..." This current period in my life I had expected to be easy and full of love for everyone involved. But now we are all forced to think twice, learn, and rely on faith. If it had been easy for all of us, we would not have grown from the experience. But with this unexpected force of opposition, we must find our own strength and will grow to be better people as we struggle to get through it.
I am trying to take this thought and be grateful for the difficulty, and rely on my faith and knowledge of the scriptures to get me through. I believe it has helped me immensely to find the patience and love I need to get through this, to know that there must needs be opposition in all things.
If all things have a reason or purpose for happening, and there must be opposition in all things, then I can endure this experience and be better for it in the end.
Love, faith, and patience don't come easy. They often come at a price and take a toll on a person. But that doesn't mean they aren't worth it in the end.