Tuesday, December 29, 2015

And so it goes

Oh, hello Blog, I see I've been neglecting you again. Sorry about that. Well, sorry, not sorry. Sometimes I just don't care anymore.
But today I've got a gerbillion things on my mind, and the thought occurred to me to blog them. But then, most of them are private things that I don't want to share. What can I say? I confuse even myself sometimes.
In less interesting news, today I was forced to accept that I have yet again burned out another laptop keyboard. It's not all that surprising how fast I go through laptops considering how long I spend on the computer each day. I think 2 years was the longest I've managed to hold on to a laptop before having to upgrade again. I can't be sure, but I think this one is now going into its third year of life. Practically a dinosaur in my world. But alas, the keyboard is about to die on me again. I type so fast and hard that I literally kill keyboards. And it usually costs more to replace a keyboard than it would be to buy a new computer. So if my capitalization is a little wonky today, you'll know why. (My left side shift key has officially quit on me.)
Tomorrow I start a brave new journey that will require a lot of lifestyle changes for me. I won't get into the details about it. Not yet anyway. Maybe in a few weeks if all is going well, or maybe if they go absolutely awful. We shall see. I'm nervous about the changes, but I'm more nervous that after I make all the effort, dedication, and changes, I won't get the results I want. I'm not normally prone to being nervous or anxious, but in the rare off day, today I am. I don't think I could handle the disappointment if after all I am about to put myself through, it doesn't work out.
Because, sometimes, that feels like the story of my life. No matter how hard I try to reach personal goals, something completely out of my control derails it. And that can be very hard to rebound from.
And so it goes.
Sorry to be so vague. I want to talk about my feelings, but I don't want to expose my situation. Not yet anyway.
Feelings. So many feelings. 

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