Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Accepting criticism as a chance to improve

I don't blog as much as I used to for myriad reasons. One of the most important reasons is just having learned from lessons of the past, and how expressing personal feelings about events in my own life can upset people. Or invites unwelcome feedback from people who make my feelings and thoughts about them.

But tonight I'm feeling alone with few (no?) people to talk to about some of the problems in life. So rather than talk to no one, I'll talk to everyone in the anonymous internet. (Hopefully I won't be repeating mistakes of the past.) (Ha ha.) (That was deep, sad, sarcasm.)

But let's start with some disclaimers. This isn't about you. This is about me. This is not any one person, problem, or event. It's a huge conglomeration or confluence of ALL THE THINGS!

Seriously, if it wasn't so painful or hard to deal with so many things at once, I'd laugh at how so many things could be happening at once.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's jump to the lesson learned and then back it up. Or something like that.

A few weeks ago, an old friend posted a beautiful picture of her ballerina daughter getting a private lesson. (or something to that extent) She commented how her daughter said how she liked to get feedback or pointers from the teacher "because how else could she improve?" I was just floored by this statement from such a young kid.

I've never been great at taking criticism. But ever since reading her comment I've been trying to take it to heart. If I don't get feedback how will I ever improve? This young girl just amazed me at her outlook! I could learn a lot from her.

If you believe that all things happen for a reason, you'll find it easy to believe that I needed to hear and digest and internalize that idea before the last few weeks hit me.

Because, wow. I have had lots of opportunities to apply this lately!

We're talking criticism feedback coming at me from all sides. You name it, I'm getting it. Work, church, personal life, writing life, volunteer life.

Old me would have given up and hidden under a rock by now, or lashed out and given everyone a dose of their own medicine.

But I haven't. I'm learning. I'm trying so hard to just get through, accept, and take it all as a chance to improve.

But it's not easy. Especially when it doesn't let up. I feel like I'm caught under Niagara Falls, getting beat on the rocks with criticism feedback.

I need a break. I need some personal improvement time. I'm writing this all out so I can get some of my emotions out before diving back in to handle the most recent problem. Mostly, I just feel like a huge failure in nearly every possible aspect of my life right now. (Writing is actually going pretty well. More on that some other time.)

I want to be a Millennial and beg a for a safe space around me. "Please only speak kind words in this area."

Sigh. Yeesh. And sigh again.

So tell me, Oh Anonymous Internet World, when you feel beat up, criticized, overwhelmed, let down, frustrated, and disappointed, what do you do? How do you personally handle it? I'm looking for a new way to handle everything, and not be me anymore.


  1. We live our lives in paradigms or different ways of thinking. Our outlooks are based on our experiences. Nothing is good or bad. We attach a meaning and emotion to things. Since everyone comes to the table with different experiences, they have different ways of thinking. Our religion, our politics are based on our paradigms. My advice may be viewed as criticism when it doesn't fit your worldview. Political views may not resonate with you because you hold a certain standard or belief that someone else doesn't. You can change your perception of the world by adopting another paradigm. Bob Proctor has videos on youtube about this. Your beliefs will dictate your habits. I grew up with certain religious habits that were based on a belief. One day, I decided that I wanted to change my outcome. I had to work to change my belief. I believed in Western medicine for a long time until I decided it just wasn't giving me the results I wanted and then shifted my thinking towards more holistic views. It is actually not that difficult to do. Using the thinkrightnow.com programs, it takes a few months of daily listening or listening at night, but you can change your beliefs and perceptions of things. Wish you the best!

  2. Sorry to hear about how you were feeling. Only having read this entry today, I'm hoping that things have improved for you. If not, take courage that it's General Conference time. Good advice I've always been told is listen to Conference with a question in mind that you need answering. I'm sure that there's probably many questions you might ask, but only you'll know what is most poignant for you. So, work out your question, then go and listen. Listen with your ears, and listen with your spirit. The only person who can really understand how you feel is the Saviour - he has vicariously already felt your pains in Gethsemane. Hopefully Conference can give you an answer about how you might best put the Atonement to work in answering your question, and allowing you to feel that you have moved some of your burdens. May the Lord Bless You - Adam

  3. Anonymous12:10 PM

    I think accepting criticism/feedback well depends on our focus. We can either focus on the thought that I'm a terrible person to what can I do to improve. For me it depends on who is giving the feedback. Some people's comments I discount and others I respect. I always think that I am a worthy daughter of God and He wants me to succeed so improvement is definitely a part of a wise lifestyle. Sometimes success/courage is "that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." I admire you and have followed you for a number of years.


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